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Fun, fun Friday! (Here's what we dealt with after BM had SD9 for an entire MONTH!)

squeegie_beckenheimer's picture

First & foremost, it was NOT a very fun weekend. It started with my husband, his father & stepmother, and I going to pick-up SD9. (Remember, this is after BM has had SD9 for an entire month!) We met at the place BM requested, which was right across from her boyfriend's place. (I wanted to kick my husband for agreeing to this, but oh well.) So we get there & park. I see BM's car coming within 5 minutes. One thing though...she was coming from the opposite direction that she should have come from. So I'm still trying to process this...BM supposedly gets out of work at 5:00, she has to go to the school to pick-up SD9 from the after-school program & then meet us at 5:30. If this is what she had done, she would have barely made it at 5:30 & would have come from the opposite direction. Instead, she's 10 minutes early & coming from the direction we came from (meaning maybe we could have met somewhere closer to us). Hmmm...I'm still not convinced that BM is working full-time. She takes a lot of time off & she's only been there a year. My mom & I soooo want to play spies & do a stakeout to find out for sure! We would LOVE to catch BM in more lies.

So BM pulls up next to us & SD9 gets out. BM does not get out of the car to do her usual hugs & kisses, "I love you" (puke, puke, barf, barf!) routine because of my husband's parents being in the car. My husband & his stepmom get out of the car, my husband hugs SD9. SD9 gets in the car & sits between me & my husband's stepmom. His stepmom tries twice to hug SD9, but SD9 resists it both times. Eventually, SD9 turns to me & says "Hi!" in the annoying tone she knows I can't stand, making a stupid face just like former SD11 used to do when she wasn't talking to me anymore. SD9 did not say much more to me for the rest of the evening, despite the fact that I tried to talk with her.

We went out to dinner at a family-type restaurant. SD9 constantly interrupted when my husband was talking to one of us; and she only spoke to him. It was like the rest of us were invisible. She then hit my husband in the head repeatedly with a balloon. I would have yelled at her, but I figured my husband has got to stop ignoring her behavior. Eventually, he got tired of it & yelled at her. (Though it didn't stop her from doing it again later.) SD9 then drank her entire drink before dinner even started & expected us to order her more soda (nope, now it's time for WATER!). She also asked for a second slice of bread & my husband told her no because it would ruin her appetite. So what does she do? Reaches across the table in front of him & grabs the last slice of bread & eats it. My husband says NOTHING. I wanted to smack her & kick him!

Then at dinner, SD9 is like half-way through her food & announces that she's going to have dessert. We all told her no because none of us had room for dessert at this point. She then ate a few more bites & was "full". It was spaghetti with a giant meatball & she didn't even eat the meatball. What a waste. Then when the waitress came by & mentioned that SD9's dinner came with a dessert & my husband told her that we weren't having dessert, SD9 had the nerve to ask the waitress for a 2nd toy from the toy box! Thankfully the waitress told her no because that was just rude!

I just wanted to say that SD9 is usually pretty good. She can be a little rude at times & lacking in manners, but her behavior this night was atrocious. She acted like a spoiled, entitled little brat. And the fact that she basically ignored me & her grandparents definitely says that BM has been working on PAS'ing her. This is EXACTLY how former SD11 acted last year. Not good.

After dinner, my husband's parents went to their motor home & we went to our house. SD9 went to her room to check out the satellite (We finally have TV after 3 years...this was my "splurge" since we never do anything fun! And we were running out of things to watch on Netflix!) & I didn't see her the rest of the night. I think I took a nap on the couch, I don't even remember. I do remember, however, making the idiotic move of mentioning how SD9 came dressed from BM's...shorts that were falling off of her that showed her butt crack, shirt was too tight, too short & stained, disgusting crocs...and she wore this to school?! Plus, it was chilly & this was not appropriate for colder weather. (At least she wore a jacket FINALLY!)

This then opened the floodgates & started a fight between me & my husband. He sees the things that are happening & knows that this is wrong, however, he just keeps ignoring it, more than likely because he doesn't know what to do. And I'm a fighter. I see what BM is doing & I want to stand up to her, but I don't because it only causes more problems. So we disagree on how to handle this nightmare. We go to court in a few weeks, so hopefully everything will be figured out soon.

If you made it this far, stay tuned for my next blog on the rest of the weekend with SD9...it gets worse...

Comments

SMkelly's picture

because the BM in my life went to school 3 hours a day for two years with no time off in summers and therefore she couldn't work even a part-time job that whole time. Oh, and she's a MEDICAL ASSISTANT now, an entry level position!
Anyway, her school got her a job in a Dr.'s office for her and lately she's been telling us that she's getting off early and that she can go in late. I figured she was just whining to her boss about having to get the kids up and ready for school and pick them up from school and all that crap, but on one of the days that she told us that she would pick the kids up from school because she was getting off early, I called where she works and asked if I could just leave a message for her and I was told that she did not come to work that day. I don't even know if she still has a job at this point, but you could call your SD's BM's place of employment and just ask to leave a message and then leave some bogus 800# like you're a bill collector or something.

squeegie_beckenheimer's picture

Your comment reminds me of BM so much! She went to the local college for FOUR years; during some of that time she worked part-time, the rest she didn't work at all. Just recently when she was threatening to sue my husband for back child support, it was because she "couldn't work while going to school". Give me a break! Her classes were only a few hours a day & yet the kids sat in daycare (paid for by the taxpayers, of course) all day. Amazingly enough, my brother also went to college there & saw BM not in classes, but hanging out with people all over campus, not doing work. Oh, and when she finally graduated last year, she immediately took a job in the next town over & makes less money than I do (& I didn't go to college). And now she makes fun of people who didn't go to college...they're beneath her! Huh, maybe if everyone had the state paying for their college because they can't keep their legs together, everyone would have the luxury of going!

bearcub25's picture

Many places of business have caller ID now and calling to leave a bogus msg isn't a good idea. calling from someone elses phone will work.

SMkelly's picture

My phone comes up private. I would not want them to take my # down. Sometimes I'm shocked at the things I have done in the past just to get to the real truth. I have since calmed down a little.

squeegie_beckenheimer's picture

but opted not to because I don't really want to deal with BM if she did answer. I know I could hang up, but still. I had suspected last spring that BM wasn't working at her job anymore, so my mom & I did some snooping. If you can follow this...my grandfather's lady friend's son works with BM, so my mom had my grandfather ask him if BM still worked there. He said she did. But how do we find out if she's still there full-time? Her being there only part-time would just mean that she's been lying about a few things, which wouldn't surprise me at all.

AllSmiles's picture

can't wait to hear the rest

"Courage is fear holding on a minute longer." General George S. Patton

squeegie_beckenheimer's picture

It's funny because I actually thought about you dealing with Droopy while I was witnessing this! So much of what I'm going through with all this PAS crap makes me think of you & what you've been through. The awful behavior is because BM does not discipline SD9 at all because she wants to be her buddy, not her mother. And when my husband ignores it, he's only making it worse. I normally say something, but obviously had taken myself out of the situation this weekend!