The letter and their response, really no surprises
DH wrote newly estranged SS16 and his mother a letter: http://www.steptalk.org/node/218407
It went down pretty much as we assumed, although instead of lashing out, BM played the "I didn't do anything wrong!" card. BM responded with "I'm trying to facilitate a relationship between you and SS!"
Gag. She's delusional. He responded something about her needing to look up the definition of facilitate, and that she has gotten exactly what she wanted. He told her to look up PAS and that there's a term for what she's done.
She said "He's growing up and we may not like it but it's a fact of life."
Not quite the same tune she was singing when she found out her "Puppy" (yes, I shit you not that is what she calls him) was banging his girlfriend. Then it was all "He's not old enough for this" and "he'll have to break up with her!" Freaking hypocrite.
His son also responded, but all he told me was "SS has written me everything his mother told him to."
He's super bummed. Sorry my DH, this sucks for you.
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Comments
I'm so sorry, this is such a
I'm so sorry, this is such a hard situation to be in. Agreed on both, keep it for the future. It's what we're doing. One day this will matter. It matters that you tried.
I will tell him this. You are
I will tell him this. You are all correct. Thanks!
Hi Tog, Yes, I do know. Your
Hi Tog, Yes, I do know. Your situation made it easier for me to offer some insights to my DH. And I did warn my DH a few times that hitting "send" wasn't going to make anything better. He insisted he just wanted to say his piece and that would satisfy him. I suspect he was still hopeful something would come of it. Personally I'm relieved it's so obviously over, and there will be no turning back. But maybe SS will look back on this someday and know his dad did care.
There really Is no reasoning with crazy, and sometimes I think outsiders think that's a joke or minimizes the seriousness of these situations. It's certainly difficult to find real support except from those who've been there.
To be honest though, my struggle now is being supportive of my husband yet letting him learn and digest this lesson on his own, while feeling overwhelmingly relieved that this kid is out of my house and greatly reduced from my life. I'm so over him and his mom.
On a happy note, we (me, DH and BS15) had a great date night last night at an "old school "arcade followed by dinner - lots of genuine laughter and banter. So DH isn't moping, thank goodness!
I don't like our BM at the
I don't like our BM at the best of times. I do however prefer her outright saying she won't stop alienating. We know where we stand and how bad it really is. My SO still hopes it's something that can be stopped with just 6-7 months therapy