please cast your judgement! Should she ever get unsupervised visits back?
I'd love some opinions on this.I'd like to know what the Court might be thinking so DH and I can prepare for trial. I'll start with a brief decription, and my thoughts.
BM has been an on and off mess since before I came into the picture 5 years ago. My husband has faught to protect my SD by going to court every year of SD's 5 year life, finally getting primary custody last May.
All was right with the world, until BM's behavoior became destructive again, which it always does. As it turns out she suffers from bipolar disorder which somewhat explans her cycling, but in April it was revealed she is also severly addicted to meth.
The Courts have acted in SD's best interest, but the Order at this point is only that BM submit to random drug testing for 6 mo and the only access she has to SD will be through Family Court Services who will provide one hour supervised visits for her with SD once a week. There is a waiting list and the visits have not begun.
My Question is this, in your opinion, should a BM such as this EVER get unsupervised possession times back?
My honest feeling is no. I am a forgiving person, and I do hold onto hope that people can change, but I cannot accept that the risk of whether or not a person has changed should rest at the expense of a child.
BM was found by CPS to have committed neglectful supervision of SD. BM will struggle with her addiction and bipolar disorder forever, and she's proven she cannot be trusted with SD.
I feel the way I do because I know in my heart that I will NEVER allow anyone who has betrayed my trust to have unsupervised possession of the most delecate and precious things in my life, my children.
I know it will be hard to overcome, as I know parent's rights to their children are rightfully a very serious matter. But I feel I need to know how the court may see this so DH and I can prepare to fight for SD's right to a safe and healthy childhood, well, healthy as you can be when your bm is like this one.
Thanks to all,
Shell
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Never or always are rarely reasonable perspectives.
That said. Yes, BioMom should have the opportunity of getting unsupervised visits with your SD. But only when hell freezes over or she demonstrates a long (~10yr)history of being clean and stable.
But neither of those is likely to happen so ........ HELL NO! That little girl should NEVER be subjected to the damage that unsupervised visits with the meth-head bipolar BM is likely to cause.
I hope the courts agree. For that little girl's sake.
Good luck and best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)
Rags, you ought to be a judge! :)
I like what you said about never and always, and your right. I'm going to try to reserve using them for the times I'm feeling unreasonable.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I---
I took the one less traveled by,
and that made all the difference. -Robert Frost-
I'm going threw the same
I'm going threw the same thing BM of SD is in prison she hasn't been is SD life steady her whole 5 years alive. She used Heroin while pregnant SD lucky had no problems at birth, 2 month after SD born still using, She had Child and family services step in take her rights away because she would not take the Drug test they mandated her to take, she had visits but had to be supervised but never showed up BM was in and out of jail many times she had at least 4 orders of protection out so she couldn't see SD, last year she went back to court after not seeing her for more than a year and got supervised visits nothing about drug test was involved but she was on probation so she did have to take drug test for that which the judge did ask for the results she then got another day of supervised visits so that's 2 days a week someone had to meet her where she wanted to go in a public place and Supervise while SD told her she didn't love her one day and did the next because she was so confused she one time had her drug dealer take her to the visit The drug dealer was know in the court for selling drugs nothing was done about it she said it was a friend BM wore long sleeves in 90 degree heat to cover her track marks again nothing was done finally got caught up when she got other charges and got sent to jail finally there was something done BM could only contact by phone once a day BM was put in jail for other charges and violation of probation and got a furlough to leave jail to see her dying BD for two weeks and didn't comply to condition so cut furlough short the did not take her into custody at her court date gave her two more days and she ran nobody saw her for months it took two month before the judge said no contact what so ever the whole two month she was calling blocked and talking to SD saying she would see her soon she finally 5 months later got caught is in prison now she was sentenced to 5 years she only has to serve 3 months Will be out October 9th and wrote a letter to me the other day talking about getting custody back not only does SD not know her BM but she has been told by MIL that Bm will come and take SD and she wont see anyone again
Wow, what state are you in?
I'd be after termination of parental rights if I were you. There has to be enough evidence to show the risk to your SD. Just the heroin use during the pregnancy could count as child endangerment in some states.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I---
I took the one less traveled by,
and that made all the difference. -Robert Frost-
Illinois, I don't know if
Illinois, I don't know if they ever tested SD as Baby or Bm after giving birth for drugs i think it was more of her telling DH after the fact about it so we don't have any hard proof of use during pregnancy. As of right now she has no rights but they keep going back and forth the GAL for Sd was actually for BM getting custody at the began of her getting the supervised visited luckily the judge saw threw her victim act
Generally-
Once parents have addressed issues that were of concern to the court and showed stability, supervision will be dropped.
It also depends on if mom asks for or fights for it. A lot of parents do not know they can so they continue with supervised visitations for much longer than they otherwise would have.
All in all, family court is not punitive- once she has assured the court of her stability, the supervision will be dropped. How long that takes kinda depends on mom.
"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love." -Jennifer Edwards