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delima with selfish sd's-long

somerg's picture

Delima-sd 24 is getting married in july, it’s about 4 states away so we’re trying to figure out how the hell to get there. dh hasn’t seen his dd but once since she was 2 (last year) was a bitter sweet meeting. Any who, as most of you know we have 3 minor’s to raise sd 14, sd 13 and dd 8.

Here’s my delima, last year ALL spring they got in bad habits of O BY THE WAY we’re doing this regardless what you think bs. They were talking for MONTHS about a school dance, and we are tight with money and have to have EVERYTHING planned ahead of time, so we told them over and over again for MONTHS to let us know ASAP when the dance was so if on our weekend we could get them there or make the appropriate arrangments. (they kept forgetting to bring the flier-yeah, bm is just as guilty and should’ve we can’t MAKE them involve us) so THE MORNING OF was a Friday morning on OUR weekend and sd 13 at the time called at FN FIVE AM “our school dance is tonight dad” he just said ok, didn’t promise we’d get them there, since my dd is in ball, we already had plans for her that evening so we told them our decision was that evening, that IF her game was over in time they could call bm to come get them and get them there. They call, no answer (damn the bad luck) so 2 hours before the dance was over bm called, came and got them, and brought them back.

FATHER’S DAY-BIG nightmare! MONTHS ahead of time bm signed them up for a church camp KNOWING DAMN well when they would be leaving (THE DAY OF FATHER’S DAY) without talking to dh about it. HEARD NOTHING nada, zilch, about this CAMP until THE WEEKEND BEFORE and here’s how it went:
Sd14: o btw dad we wont be able to be here next weekend for father’s day, we have a camp to go to and the church bus is leaving at noon
Me(I couldn’t bite my tongue to this bs): How long have you guys known about this camp?
Sd14: for a while
Me: and you’re JUST telling your dad? :jawdrop:
Sd14: we forgot!
Me: so you’re leaving at noon on Sunday, and you can’t spend Friday, Saturday, and Sunday morning with your FATHER?
Sd14: we need to pack
Me: wtf (literally I cussed up a storm) are you doing all week??
Sd14 and sd 13: we are helping mom clean the house so it’ll be clean before we go
Me: ok so is it NOT an option that you be packed by Friday night and you can bring your bags to your dad’s with you?
Skids: no, mom wants to make sure we get everything so we have to spend the weekend packing
Me: your mom can’t take your bags up to the church and MEET you there before the bus leaves?
Skids: we don’t think that’ll work
Me: We can get your bags from your mom this weekend, after she finish’s packing and we can take you to the camp so you can spend father’s day with your FATHER. Where’s camp, I don’t care if it’s in TEXAS (we're in oklahoma) we’ll get you there, You don’t have to pick between your father and camp you can make both
Sd14: they want us all to leave as a group
So dh calls bm….something along the lines of:
Dh: what’s this I hear about a camp next weekend?
Bm: I know but I already paid for it, I don’t’ know why they sched it to leave on father’s day
dh: you couldn’t have CONSULTED ME FIRST
bm: I didn’t sign them up til it was too late to consult you first.
(wtf EVER! :sick: )
So long story short they stay with bm for father’s day weekend, for some reason we DID expect a CALL NOPE, NOT A THING, NOTHIng, later on a future weekend it was all excuses of "we were busy" :sick: , had to leave, no one had a cell to call you blah blah blah YOU SELFISH JUST LIKE BM SORRY EXCUSES FOR KIDS, YOU COULD’VE CALLED AT 4AM AND THAT WOULD’VE BEEN FINE, but no stick your heads up bm’s ass right where she WANTS YOU your fn marionettes to her and will REMAIN THAT WAY! :sick:
Mother’s day weekend rolls around….dh’s family does a reunion EVERY YEAR out of town, I’m going, it’s MY WEEKEND. sd14 “why do they have to ALWAYS hold it on mother’s day weekend that means we can ever go” :sick: me: sorry, we’re going and I’m glad they hold it then. Sd13 I WANT TO GO but I want to be home Saturday so I can spend mother’s day with mom, sd 14 I want to spend ALL of mothers day with mom………….(my thought) yeah but f your dad on his weekend, who gives a sh what he wants with you guys. So O DEAR sd13 goes and I have to limit MY weekend so we can have her for SOMETHING. (there’s more of skids fn their dad like this)

Here’s major PAYBACK }:) . Sd23 is getting married FOUR states away, sd13 and 14 are expecting to go………..HELL NO, I’m the bread winner and I cannot justify taking them with them treating their father this way….how shall we break the news? Wait til bm picks them up the day before like they did us and OBTW or wait til we get back? or just flat out let the monster come out and tell them since I'M paying for it, THEY will not go end of story!

what o ever shall i do??

Comments

oneoffour's picture

Them - So what time are you picking us up for SDs wedding?
You - I am sorry. I cannot afford to pay for everyone. SO I have decided as I can't divide you up and take one of you I am taking none of you.
Them - But we want to go!
You - So it is about what you want and not what anyone else wants or can afford? May I remind you last year you blew off your father on Fathers Day. Not even a phone call. Nothing. Yet Mothers Day became extremely important and you had to stay with her. OK, fair enough. Your choice. So if you can choose how you want to see your Dad I get to choose whether I pay for you all to come to your sisters wedding with us. See. I don't like it when you disrespect my husband.
Them - But we forgot!
You - Well I forgot to book a room for you.
Enjoy the weekend with your mother. We will take lots of photos. And maybe you will remember Fathers Day this year. It is in all the stores you knw.

somerg's picture

Biggrin i like that, thank you for taking time to read this....i know it was long been :sick: about it for some time

The big G's picture

I get that here sometimes mummy's dad is all worship but daddy who provides everything and g mean for her time here and her occasional weekends at princess fiona's house too (my pet name for the lazy bm), I really would need to bite my tongue if I where in your shoes from saying about the family get together, sorry but we have to clean before we leave and make sure everything is packed. I know you understand as you had the same thing when you went to camp :). As for the wedding, you'll have to explain that the money tree got pruned and can't afford to take you sorry. And besides it will only ruin your time at the wedding and since your paying then it's your choice.

somerg's picture

he decided after all that bs that he will enforce his visitation from that point forward, she is really good at knowing how to work him and he's tired of hearing me call him her marienette (cause that's how he's been).

as far as the wedding, this is half sister to them, they have only met her ONCE (i know shouldn't matter) and have proven they ONLY "want" to come over when they WANT to and something special is going on. I agree they should be able to go because they are blood related HOWEVER sissy that is getting married could really careless if they are there because of how they have blown daddy off.

Plus, bm is a "stick them up my ass" type mom, sis was going to have it in Flordia for a beach setting but too expensive for everyone and before she changed those plans bms EXACT words were "hmmmm i'll have to think about that, that's kind of far from home and i'm not sure about that." YES! dh finally stood up to her, and told her "as long as i tell you where we're going and give you contact info, there's nothing for you to think about, as long as i don't take them out of the country you cannot stop me". and + bm would be calling EVERY hour to check on them. We took them LESS THAN 1 STATE AWAY but still across state boarders to get married, and they CRIED at 11 and 12 the WHOLE TIME because mommy is too far away. :sick:

just not in the mood to hear it she can keep them up her ass, they all like it there :sick:

if bm wants them to go, she'll make the arrangments and pay their way imo