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How to control the aftereffects of BM's obvious mental illness?

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I know I've said this before, but I need to say it again. Where does this $hit end?!? The whole ordeal is giving me crippling anxiety and im so tired of running over better ways to respond when this stuff happens in my head. Actually, I think this time I'm just going to ask for instructions. Also let me preface by saying, I am familiar with parental alienation, I am familiar with Craig Childress and I have read divorce poison. None of that is making this any less upsetting or any easier to deal with. In addition, SS is only 5.

Court Order Minutiae Help

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Our CO was done by a judge at trial and contains one very normal minor provision that is completely and totally unworkable for us. It states "The exchange time is between 6 and 6:30pm." The issue is, we have SS EVERY weekend. So every single Friday my DH must be home from work and leave the house by 5:15pm, and returns at around 7:30. If DH is late the BM withholds SS. When BM is late, which is often, DH ends up just having to wait there until whenever.

BM’s Annual Mental Breakdown expressed through SS

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Meanwhile, back in the real world SS has arrived. Thankfully he's not screaming "mommy's gone mommy's dead" this year, but we don't know if it’s because we warned him previously exactly what the BM was going to say and not to get upset if she did, or if its because she really didn't actually go out of her way to attempt to turn him into a basketcase this year. So while he's acting pretty normal, I do have some lovely tidbits from mommy dearest that came up in the course of normal conversation with SS.

BM's Annual Mental Breakdown Continued Electronically.

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So summer is finally here and SS5 has arrived. The BM has gone insane on social media as typical, I really believe she may have suffered a psychotic break this time. I mean, I always feel like she's on the verge and I'm always kind of waiting for it to happen. Maybe this is finally it? Here are some choice details from her latest posts with no basis in reality:

How bad does it need to be before something can be done?

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I'm starting to have serious anxiety about skid weekends. But, not the way most of the people of this forum seem to have it. See, I actually like my SS5, and I seriously hate having to send him back to the BM. But I get super anxious when he comes, because more times than not he comes back somehow damaged. The current arrangement is about 60/40. (BM has 60)

Suggestions on how to best handle skid phone calls with the other parent.

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My SS4 HATES phone calls and the BM is completely insane. The calls are disrupting my entire life. I started to mention this in my last blog, and I know its an issue, but there were so many responses I was afraid it would get lost in the thread so im posting about it separately.

Skids and behavior issues at exchange.

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So, I know where its coming from, but SS4's behavior during exchanges is getting completely out of control. Unfortunately, we can't control the BM's behavior, and we have had no luck finding a therapist for SS on DH's time. (Close to 50/50, but parenting plan is "long distance" so mom has M-Th for school and dad has 3 weekends a month through Monday morning and most of summer) so I am once again asking about things DH and I might be able to do in order to help SS4 deal with some of his mother's emotional abuse.

What is 50% medical decision making worth?

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Does anyone have experience with the 50% legal medical decision making common in many of todays COs and what kind of power or control that actually gives someone?

I am asking because the BM seems to have some kind of munchausen's syndrome. She believes that SS4 is always seriously ill, and she regularly tries to use this to control DH.

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