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Just need to vent about her lack of boundaries

SMIT's picture

Just when I was really enjoying being at peace with SS's mommy and savoring the quiet (translation: she hadn't done or said anything goofy in months), it started again.

Friday morning, DH called her about SS's hat and gloves... and ended up hearing about some possibly cancerous spots she has to have checked out. Of course, DH's concern immediately turned to SS, who got Mommy's family's fair coloring, and how we'll need to slather sunscreen on him forever and ever, amen. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed that morning and it did not help hearing DH on the phone with her for 10 minutes about her mother's and brother's skin cancer issues and how if the doctor slips removing a spot on her lip it could ruin her lip line and blah, blah, blah. When they hung up, he told me what all had been said AND that she'd been having a pain in her lower right side for five days. OK, and she needed to tell him this BECAUSE...???

When I got home that night, he said her pain was from an ovarian cyst. I don't even know why they talked again that day.

Last night, she called and asked if she could claim SS on her taxes for 2006 (they alternate claiming him and it's DH's year) because her first ex-husband hasn't paid support for her 14 year-old and she could use the money. He told her we had to talk it over and we'd let her know. On one hand, we both feel we're very fortunate and certainly not hurting for money. We also feel like just saying "no" to be nasty would force the universe to turn around and crap on us. Wink On the other hand, if we said yes to it this year, what we do next year when the her other kid's dad STILL didn't pay child support? I brought that up and DH wholeheartedly agreed.

We decided to have our tax preprarer run the numbers both ways--with us claiming him and not--and we'll base our decision on what it does to our refund or what we might owe. When he told her that, she asked him, "Well, don't you get to claim the interest on your house payments?" I could NOT believe she brought that up! He refused to get into it with her and just reiterated that we have to see what the tax preparer tells us.

I can't believe her lack of boundaries and self-edits. While DH doesn't get nearly as wound up as I do over the stuff she says, he at least understands where I'm coming from as someone who's never had to deal with an ex- who will ALWAYS be around. He also gets it that he doesn't have to deal with any of my exes ALWAYS being there.

I swear she gave me the cold shoulder this morning when she picked up SS. I invited her in because it's sub-zero here right now. I asked her how she was and I got a, "Fine." Then when she saw DH she was all, "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!" Yuck.

I don't know what it is... I know she doesn't want DH back but I wonder if she resents ME for having a good thing with him. Their marriage only lasted less than two years and neither one of them was able to keep the house they bought. We've been together longer than they lasted and he and I have been very, very happy together in our beautiful new home since we bought last spring. We were both able to buy really nice newer used cars (leather, "toys," etc.) in the last few months and she's always strapped for cash. (And I feel I should add that I drove my previous car for nine years.) My mother-in-law has mentioned a few times that she always felt SS's mommy was very into material things and that she and her family always acted like they thought they were so much better than DH's family.

Anyway, I guess she's never going to change. She will always run her mouth and DH won't ever get annoyed as frequently as I do. Can't wait 'til SS starts kindergarten in the fall and she has to call three times a day every day again...

Comments

Little Jo's picture

Months of nothing goofy out of her, that must have been heavenly. I completely understand your fraustration of the health issues. If your BM is anything like ours, it gets to a point like 'the little boy who cried wolf.'

In the year my BF has been with me, BM has been in the hospital countless times for an array of problems. She always manages to gain his sympathy and concern. Don't get me wrong, I don't wish anything bad on the woman. But I feel she uses his good nature to keep her big foot in the door.

As far as the taxes. It's disgusting. Why do some BM's feel they are entitled to everything!!!!!

And, She of course resents you. You are succeeding with someone she failed with. One of my favorites was last month, when BM was in one of her snotty moods and said to my BF in regards to me;(she was on speakerhone)
"Boy, she must be really good in bed, because you know she is ugly, I'm mean she's really ugly".

Hang in there. Jo

OldTimer's picture

Otherwise, what's next, Hey, can I have SS during this Holiday (that you are schedule for)... I have to have my ovary removed...

Wink StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...