Real slick BM
DH mentioned yesterday that he went to peek at BMs Facebook to see if MSS went to some school dance or whatever and found out she had blocked him. SO out of curiosity I looked and see that I have not been blocked. And yes MSS did to to the dance. (MSS has been PASd for over a year now so we have zero contact).
In my search I see another post made by BMs spouse and it had all the SSs tagged. It was an article about how it is more important now than ever for parents to attend EVERY sporting event their child has.
That was a 100% dig at DH. DH works weekends and used to work evening so he would miss a lot of games. For some reason BM could not understand that a person cannot call off work several times a week to attend a sporting event. But that is exactly the thing she used against DH to PAS her dimwits against him.
There is no logic in her thinking. DH is and always will be a terrible parent to her because he isn’t able to attend every single game. And the SSs have adopted that logic.
So according to her thinking...every parent who works odd shifts, such as police men, firemen and other well respected professions are all shitty parents because they cannot attend every second their child has in a sporting event. I’m sure there little post pissed a lot of people off.
I didn’t tell DH what i saw. It won’t change anything and we already know that is how they feel.
Gawd she’s a terrible person!
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Yes, attending every sporting
Yes, attending every sporting event is exactly what makes a good parent, has nothing to do with what happens the rest of the time. Oh, if only it were that easy.
My SD had no extra curricular activities, so I guess my DH was supposed to go over to BM's and watch SD watch TV or something? Then, he would have been considered a good parent?
You should go a head and post
You should go a head and post this:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/bringing-compassion-matrimonial-...
We run into this crap with BM too. How the F are we supposed to be at everything when you moved 1300 miles away. How the F are we supposed to know to ask about games if BM refuses to give a schedule? I don't understand the need to push kids away from thier fathers!
BM has no idea or perhaps
BM has no idea or perhaps doesn't care the damage that she is inflicting on her kids. At the end of the day its not about them its about the kids and they are used as pawns to continue to hurt the NCP.
I found this part of the article that was posted on this thread to be so true.
"It is critical that the custodial parent foster the relationship between the child and the non-custodial parent by, for example, including the non-custodial parent in significant events in the child’s life and encouraging their communication and frequent contact. On the contrary, if the custodial parent interferes or undermines the child’s relationship with the non-custodial parent, it can raise an inference that he or she is ill-equipped to have custody and act in the child’s best interests."
The problem is that this kind
The problem is that this kind of CP truly believes that the kids hate the father because of something HE did, not because of anything she did. They do often really, really believe that. They can't see their own part in the alienation.
True
Feom the moment I came into the picture (7 years ago) she has bashed DH for not attending every sporting event despite whether he has to work or not. So obviously when your own BM and her spouse are constantly bashing a parent for their alleged faults, the kids are not going to respect that parent and now they have been fully PASd.
luckily for us, she now has to deal with their demanding entitled asses who feel the whole world should bow down to their greatness.
Gawd she’s a terrible person
So BM has been to every
So BM has been to every single sporting event? What about when one kid has a game at x school and another kid has a game at z school....MOTY I think not!!! TSK TSK lying outright on social media...unheard of! But seriously what a joke!
Oh she manages
BM does go to EVERY game for MSS. She manages this by ignoring YSS and refusing to sign him up for sports that interfere with MSSs events.
The fact that DH works until 7 pm or later during the week and weekends is not a excuse in her book.
I actually saw someone post
I actually saw someone post this exact article and rolled my eyes. This is what I hate about Facebook...all the feel good I'm such a great person crap that gets reshared over and over regardless of if its realistic or not. Maybe I'm a huge exception but honestly I did not care or even think about if my parents were at my sporting events or not. (And if you do attend them all for your kids thats great, i just dont think that is what determines if you are a good parent or not) I was never hugely into athletics though and we weren't a sports family so maybe it's different for others. But still, every sporting event isn't realistic or a priority over work. I'm guessing they get child support...would they prefer he work less and get that reduced so he can attend sporting events? I doubt it. And what it there is multiple kids? Are you supposed to somehow manage to attend all of their events all the time?
Uep
The beauty of it is a lot of the parents around here can’t make every single game. It’s almost impossible at times. BM is not making friends with other parents, that is for sure. Probably why she and her spouse sit alone at every sporting event.
The truth is, they are starting to ramp up the PAs on YSS. Soon enough DH will
have no relationship with any of his sons.
Not everyone has the luxury
Not everyone has the luxury of making EVERY sporting event even if just one due to work schedules or other obligations that can't be ignored. Kudos to BM if she can make them all but it doesn't work that way for everyone.
Whatever she says or think I'd ignore because in the end even if your H made every sporting event she'd still complain that he was late or not paying attention. Its always something with people like that. Nothing he could ever do will be enough so what she thinks is a non-factor if you ask me.
Inagree
And 99% of the time I can ignore what she says. This one just irked me because that is what she used to PAS the older two. I keep thinking this maybe one day, when they have kids of their own and fall short of their own BMs standards for what makes a good prent, they will see her manipulation. But I doubt it. And honestly think my life will be easier if they just stay away. They are toxic.
Breathe in breathe out....
Breathe in breathe out.....Look around, IF you go to the pathogenic parenting best friend aka "ACTIVITIES". Most are divorced moms or poor ncp bio dad who is being pulled around by the ex. Activities are one of the easiest ways to keep kids away from target parent, your dh in this case.I bet your bm might have said:
'ITS what the chilllll-Dren want to do. They need a sport/or they need to dance. Its not about you buddy its about the chillll-dren so you better show up or you better take them to practice".
Didnt your lawyer tell you dh time with his kids IS his own? And, nothing will change or happen when bm boo hoos to a judge saying dh is an awful dad because he is working and cant attend the events SHE insisted the kids sign up for knowing full well dh can not go?
Dh is working OP. IF bm really cared enough about the kids seeing daddy at practice OR at a game she would have made sure to NOT place them in a program that he couldnt be at.
That is what I would tell her too. Not that she will give a sh&&.
When you have a parent like your BM there is nothing you can do, or will do that will stop her from always doing what she does.
I can suggest reading everything you can on Dr. Craig Childress professional website. Just google his name. AND, watch his youtube videos about "Parental Alienation".
Goodluck
BM signed up SS for this
BM signed up SS for this soccer thing. She doesn't have a license, but this is at a park right behind the house so no driving required. She didn't ask DH for his opinion, but made sure to guilt tripped him for not being able to go. We later found out from SS that BM stands at the back door and watches him walk to the park, then she goes back inside and doesn't come out again until it's time for SS to walk home. It's a way for her to get a few hours of "free babysitting" and just something to use against DH.