Has me so triggered. Heards behavior on the stand literally puts me back when HCBM was testifying in our trial and how argumentative she was (is) and purgering herself time after time. Heard and HCBM have the same personality disorder and while DH didn't have the actual physical abuse but the all knowing, controling, lying, CPS reports etc etc I literally have to catch myself thinking is this deja vu?!
Last year HCBM wanted her boyfriend to participate in the father daughter dance with SD at her dance recital. DH squashed that and was able to partipate with SD however HCBM would not allow SD to attend rehearsals on her weekends. The dance instructor was so caring and kind to DH, she had an absent father and does this dance for the sole reason of how important the relationship is.
Part of HCBM's issue and fight in court was that she wanted SD after school through dinner on Wednesdays since that's when her boyfriend gets his daughter. They have opposite parenting weekends so the girls never see each other or spend time together. She argued in court we didn't see them as a "family" and it was "hurtful"
When it came time for summer she was insistent on a nanny to keep SD safe and so she could continue building a relationship with her "Sibling"
To say we are still slightly disappointed in the stance from the school is an understatement (https://www.steptalk.org/blog/skell76/anyone-experienced-school-270897) since conferences are not documented; information can not be shared.
Preaches communcation and complains when I don't address her. Only to show her arse; we both volunteer for SD's school. I remain in the background doing all the IT/social media stuff. It's where I can help and allow space for SD's HCBM and DH to volunteer for their own kiddo. Unfortunately some of HCBM's duties and I overlap and communication needs to be sent to the whole group.
HCBM historically has had her own agenda and fabricated information from parent teacher conferences and reported back to ....you guessed it the therapist. We had the teacher contact therapist directly correcting it last year. (HCBM was upset SD's IEP was dissolved. the counselor didn't see the need for one but HCBM swears we had outside conversations with her when we did not do anything and allowed the school to do it. It only helps DH's case right?)
Mostly for my personal therapy of typing it out. I have one friend that is a SM that gets it and this amazing board. So for now this is my therapy although I might seek out in person therapy because my anger towards this person grows exponentially.
The one where HCBM didn't like that I didn't say good morning to her on SD's first day of school. Said that SD has expressed to her she wishes we talked. SD has NEVER mentioned that and only stated "my mom doesn't like you" Mutual my girl trust me. (I don't say that I just tell her my focus is her and DH) Anywho so I said I have boundaries for myself and I came to see SD and wish her a good day, not HCBM who hovered.
Case in point:
School paperwork. DH completed sent off to see if HCBM had any changes. It's literaly verifying your address, phone number, contact, emergency contacts. That's it. First response : send me the login information so I can have access. She has her own parent portal. DH replied please log into your own parent portal to review and again, please let me know if you have any changes. (background DH is the primary parent since he's in district, he gets final say in legal custody issues)
Perhaps I'm too into my emotions on this one but I am quite saddened by actions of my former SIL.
Background, she and I have been friends since we met. My brother cheated and never really saw my niece - garbage dad but she and I have remained close for 25 years. We've had minor fights before but this one, I don't know feels bigger to me.