Since we eat unhealthy at THIS house....
It was our weekend to have SD which I always dread because of her little snide comments such as my title and SO seems to be oblivious to the fact that she is making digs at me...cause she is so innocent and all and doesn't say it with an attitude! I know such a stupid little comment shouldn't get to me (especially since I know SD wanted it to). SD all of the sudden has been on this healthy eating kick. I don't know if it is because her mom's new bf is on a special diet b/c of heart problems or if she is getting made fun of at school for being chubby. Anyways, the other day she said that in 2 weeks she was going to only eat salads for lunch and dinner. I don't know why she is waiting 2 weeks but whatever. Then Friday she says, "since we eat unhealthy at THIS house" comment and although it irritated me I just laughed and replied, "I buy healthy options at this house and they go to waste, people here would rather eat junk, my whole drawer of fruit went to waste".
This irritates me because I know it isn't just at our house that she eats unhealthy. She constantly brags about her mom buying her McCafe Vanilla Capuccinos and also can tell me her favorite drink like that from every fast food place. We don't buy her that crap. Plus in my opinion she should worry more about portion control and constant snacking than eating a salad for dinner. I don't ever say anything to her about her eating habits because I don't want to be the cause of her eating problems. However, I don't think she will stick with her salads for dinner and eating healthy since I have never seen her make a healthy eating choice in my life. Her current eating habits disgust me but I can't say anything to SO about that because he gets defensive of anything involving SD. I do always have healthy options available but she NEVER choses them. When I do make a healthy meal she does her slow eating thing and drags it out and you can tell she doesn't want to eat it but has too. He mentioned the other day that she was eating a lot and thought she was going through a growth spurt. I didn't want to be mean and point out the obvious that she is growing but not taller! She will eat a snack then a meal then a snack and then a meal and a treat after every meal as well. I usually try not to buy sweets when I know she is coming because she will devour them all in no time.
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My SD's would be more
My SD's would be more talkative about diet issues and it usually coincided with their MOTHER deciding she needed to go on a diet. She spent way too much time talking about weight and dieting around her girls.
I was wondering if that was
I was wondering if that was the reason also because as I stated BM's new bf is on a heart healthy diet so maybe BM is now actually trying to eat healthy. Or maybe BM is also noticing that SD is getting pretty chunky and trying to make changes now?! I just didn't like how she felt the need to emphasis "THIS house" the way she did when I am usually the one pushing for healthier eating and not allowing so much junk in the home!
I find find the same thing
I find find the same thing with the skids here. Both boys (who are sticks) were going on and very concerned about calories. They even told me Coke Zero was good for you because it has 0 calories.
So I told them they didn't need to worry about calories, that it's fuel for your body, like gas in a car. But that you want high quality gas, like real food and drinks vs processed food and pop.
SS10 ignores it but SS11 shows a real interest in actually eating healthy and in listening to my rants like the one above.
Ugh, I hate the misconception
Ugh, I hate the misconception that something like coke zero is good b/c of the 0 calories. I'm glad you explained that it isn't! Unfortunately as a SM and not a BM we don't have as much influence it seems.
Getting SD to really be healthy will be interesting seeing as up until now BM has always let her eat whatever and rewarded all her meals with a treat after. I wonder if BM is starting to regret her tactics....
Yeah, when they first told me
Yeah, when they first told me that about the coke I was thinking what the heck is wrong with this woman.
As for your SD, that's a tricky spot. And that comment about not eating healthy in this house would definitely annoy me. But yah I like your plan to kind of just leave it alone and keep the junk out of the house.
Thats what we do here. We just don't buy the junk, which has resulted in SS10 hardly coming over, yah he'd rather eat popcorn for breakfast.
The coke thing gets me too. I
The coke thing gets me too. I rarely drink soda, we do not SS have it hardly at all, sometimes like sprite. That diet stuff is so bad for you too. SO drinks it with his run and coke, he is a diabetic. I get on him for it saying it is really bad too. He will use like a flavored seltzer water sometimes. Progress.
It was just how she
It was just how she emphasized THIS house so dramatically like she eats so well at BMs! When I know that she hasn't for at least the past 3-4 years. It is new at BMs house for sure! I'll just continue with my original plan of not having crap available to her!
LOL, I wish SD would hardly come over but she is obsessed with "dadeetz" so I don't see that happening any time soon!
The soda thing drives me crazy. The diet soda is just as bad or worse than regular soda. I have been trying to quit drinking it myself and it is hard but I have cut back. I try to get SO to not drink as much either but he drinks it all day long at work. His mother is a diabetic and so was his father. Even more reason to not let SD have it but he doesn't seem to get that.
Do as she asks
Feed her only salads for 2 weeks. Do not have any junk food available to her (put goodies away in your room) and she how she likes it. She can hardly argue with it as SHE asked for it. How old is this girl?
Actually this reminds me of when SD then 15 announced that she was going on a diet and would need a salad with every meal. WITH the meal, not instead of
She is 10 almost 11. I don't
She is 10 almost 11. I don't want to cause her any eating disorders by saying something and I know this is a sensitive subject so I try not to cross any lines. I actually have already been working on not having any junk food available when she is there because she will seriously eat every last bit of it in a weekend. That is why I had a drawer full of fruits that mostly went to waste. I know she likes sweets so I thought I would have the fruit instead of cake/cookies/candy. She didn't even touch it. My son packed it in his lunch and we snacked on it but she just looked for whatever she could make that was sweet. I definitely plan on only making her salads for dinner available. I just bought salad last night as a matter of fact ;)
She's a bit young to be
She's a bit young to be thinking about diets and you are quite right about not wanting to say the wrong thing to her. Yeah, I think it's just best to cut out the bad stuff and then not worry about it.
I agree that she is young to
I agree that she is young to be thinking about diets. I really hope that it is just because her mom is actually trying to eat healthy with her new bf. I don't see anything wrong with encouraging healthy habits. I just don't like her implying that her unhealthy habits came from our house alone. Which I am sure is probably just a reguritation of her mother's words. I'll just make sure to ONLY have healthy options available during her visits :)
SS9 has to asks to eat
SS9 has to asks to eat anything in the house. Only healthy stuff is really kept in our house. He wants a snack he has to ask, he wants to eat lunch he has to ask. When he gets older he will be allowed to just grab things when he is hungry but I hope by then he only does because he is hungry, sometimes he asks to eat now because he is bored. I make large Sunday breakfast where you can eat till you are stuffed two hours later when he is bored and no is paying attention to him, can I have lunch, I say no you can not eat just because you are bored.
We keep no junk food in the house like at all. Once in a while we will have a treat like home made brownies. SS is not allowed unless he asks and even then SO and I will say no. If he asks for one like 20 minutes before bed it is a hard no. SS eats most of the goodies when they are in the house. (He still managed to lose all this weight recently by just eating less and better. I swear it magically migrated to my butt)
My son always asks before he
My son always asks before he eats anything at our house, healthy or not, but not SD. Unfortunately SO is part of the unhealthy SD snacking. I swear he enables it and encourages her eating. The other night I made baked chicken legs, mashed potatoes and corn for dinner. SD had already been snacking since she got there. She acted as if she were starving even though she had already had chicken strips and chips and who knows what else (SO gets home before I do). I told her that she would be fine waiting another 30 minutes on dinner. Before I even announced that dinner was ready she was out of her room in the kitchen ready to eat. She had 2 servings of all that and after SO was asking, "did you get enough to eat? You can eat more if you're still hungry" He always wants to go get snacks when she is there. It is like he feels like he has to feed her junk so she will know he loves her?!? It is weird and I can't say anything to him about it because he gets all defensive. She never asks before getting food either. I went to use the whip cream I had in the freezer to make a fruit dip and it was half gone. SD had been using it on her waffles along with peanut butter. She never asked though....just helped herself. I also tell SO all the time that I don't want the kids drinking soda but when SD is there he just can't understand why we shouldn't let them guzzle soda with every meal! I have even hidden sweets or bought just sweets that I like and know she doesn't like but if it is the only sweet she will consume it!
I should also add that when
I should also add that when she makes brownies with SO they are gone in a day. SO will not regulate that or tell his precious daughter no to food. One time after I made a big breakfast I made cinnamon rolls as a treat after breakfast. SD ate them and then wanted a snack so SO let her have mini oreos. I tried to stop it and he said, "I don't see the problem she ate her food, she should be allowed a treat"....so after making these comments I do realize there is a problem with food in our house but not sure how to get SO on the same page as me!
Yeah there are some serious
Yeah there are some serious issues going on there. Sounds like SO is replacing emotional connection with food with his kid. That is sad because she does not learn now it will always be a struggle for her. I see it with my own mother who uses food to fill her up sometimes. She has been over weight, and healthy, and overweight, the whole yo-yo thing.
I would try to have a serious talk with you SO and just be very stern and not let him get out of it. Tell him that it is a serious issue look up facts for kids her age being over weight. It sucks telling a kid no they can not eat because they say kids need the fuel but at the same time we as adults need to understand when they are asking because they are really hungry or if they are just asking cause they are bored or because it tastes good. SS asks every night to a piece of his candy, we say no most night and on the one night we say yes we pick the candy. Like a tiny bag of sour patch kids that have like 8 paces in it.
Some people do not get that adults influence children so much when they are young and it will stay with them for the rest of their lives.
Yeah, I think you are right
Yeah, I think you are right on the emotional connection thing. He is always wanting to get crap food when she is there like she is being slighted if she doesn't have special drinks or snacks. I offer her the same drinks as my son, milk or water, she doesn't like milk so water is her option. I don't see that as a bad thing.
I have tried having talks with SO by not singling out SD b/c that is when he gets super defensive. I say all the kids (even though I don't have this problem with mine) just so he doesn't think I am "picking on her". I bring up the fact that his mom had diabetes and so did his dad. This is a struggle between SO and me also b/c his mom has horrible eating habits and only drinks diet pepsi. His dad passed away a few years ago but was diabetic and always had one of those huge drinks from the gas station full of Mt. Dew. You would think seeing his parents struggle with these illnesses would be eye opening but I guess not.
Magic migration... me too
Ug, me too. I helped SS lose over 50 lbs a few years ago so he's no longer fat, but now DH gets him frozen processed foods and I'm eating healthier than they are.
Yeah, I'm realizing as I
Yeah, I'm realizing as I respond to commentors that we do have a problem in our home and it is SO enabling the junk and rewarding with the junk. Her comment just bothered me because she was acting like she eats healthy at BMs house and not ours. If she does eat healthy over there it just started with the new bf in the picture! Plus there are healthy options she just doesn't choose them!
I hate the phrase “healthy eating”
It has no real meaning. People make up the stupidest things that they call “healthy eating”.
Maybe even me. I eat almost no processed foods. I make my own chicken stock from scratch and other ingredients like marinara sauce. I’ve never cared that much for fried foods, but I love butter.
I don’t use any low fat or non fat foods. I do not avoid gluten or carbs. I eat any meat that I want but often eat meals with no meat or seafood.
My one and one and hard fast rule is that I stop eating when I am full.
I think it is funny how
I think it is funny how everyone acts like salads are the healthiest thing and if you diet you have to eat salad! Yes, salads can be healthy if you aren't drenching them in some fatty, high calorie dressing, but that is what I see usually.
I'm impressed you make chicken stock from scratch. I guess I am lazy because that is something I buy already made. I do think that if people want to eat healthier cutting out processed foods and eating more veggies is key. Something I don't see SD doing.
Stopping when full is definitely something that helps. SD definitely doesn't do that!
My SDs are large too
And my SO is diabetic so we don't buy sweets like packaged cookies, etc. I don't really care about sweets - I prefer salty snacks, which is my downfall. SO will make sugar free cakes and lo cal banana bread, etc from a diabetic cookbook he has - they're pretty tasty. But SDs want to eat that prepackaged sweets and just lots of food in general. I can't watch them shovel it in - ugh
This is how I feel about
This is how I feel about watching my SD eat and snack constantly and SO not trying to intervene at all but instead actually encourage it. SD is a junk food junky so I don't think her "diet" will last or even start for that matter.
Hmmm, I need to check out some recipes like that. Both of SO's parents have/had diabetes so he really should be more concerned about his daughter's eating habits. Everytime I try it is like I am satan forcing "healthy" foods on her so I quit....let BM and SO worry about it. I will control what I can and that is not buying the crap at my home!
It seems food is always an
It seems food is always an issue with skids! In my opinion, it is just a form of control.
My peditrician said to me years ago, and it always stuck, was that a healthy diet does not need to consist of ALL healthy choices. Kids are kids and do enjoy sweets at times. That for every sweet a piece of fruit or veggie comes first. And that healthy correlates with portion control. And lastly, water. He stated that if kids eat a balanced diet that juices, etc is not necessary. That water is most ideal.
I have noticed on here that
I have noticed on here that food is an issue with skids! LOL! I'm sure it does have to do with control. BM likes to try to control EVERYTHING in our home! Doesn't work but she still tries!
I think everything is okay in moderation. Moderation isn't being exercised with SD at all though. I tried the fruit and she had nothing to do with it. Oh well! I don't buy juice for the kids either. I have some cool filtered water in the fridge or milk. Supposedly SD is "allergic" to milk but she can devour ice cream no problem, LOL!