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Sighofbelief's picture

With SD15’s holiday visit just around the corner, I am contemplating whether or not DH and I should bring up hygiene standards for the long visit. SD15 went as 6 days without bathing during her last long visit. Disgusting.

I want to remain disengaged. However, I see her nasty habits as a health hazard to my young son. And to me! Think of how many times she picks her nose or wipes her butt!

I think it will be a very simple and gentle conversation. If you wish to watch TV or use your computer, you will get to as much as you want....after you take a shower for the day. You will not be reminded or begged or nagged.

If you don’t like this policy, you can return to your mother’s house early for the rest of your Christmas break.


Siemprematahari's picture

Hell yeah this discussion should be had with SD. Your H can approach it in a kind & gentle way. I can't see how she goes every day without washing her @ss. I'd remind H to make sure she showered, like literally have him show her the way to the bathroom with a towel and call it a day. There's no reason she should go 6 days without showering. 


hereiam's picture

Although I agree about the showering, that 6 days is a long time, that is not really a hazard to your son. She should be washing her hands throughout the day (like after using the restroom), whether she showers or not.

And, it would really be best if she didn't pick her nose but I would tell her to wash her hands when she's done doing that, too!

tog redux's picture

I agree it's not really a health hazard, but why does DH need to tip-toe around it? SS used to come back from BM's having not showered for days and DH would just order him into the shower.  Off he went. 

hereiam's picture

Right? My SD used to show up smelling to high heaven of cigarette smoke and with greasy hair and DH would send her to straight to the shower.

Aniki's picture

Same here. SSnow17 would show up with so much dirt on his arms, it looked like he was wearing elbow-length grease gloves and a dracula-style high collar (filthy neck). I never got close enough to know how much he smelled...

advice.only2's picture

Why oh why do grown a$$ men have a hard time telling a teenage girl they smell and need to shower? This seems to be a common issue and I don't understand it.

I mean really whats the worst that happens? She leaves? Okay cool, don't let my clean door hit your smelly a$$ on the way out, I don't want to have to repaint it!

tog redux's picture

I don't get it either. My DH used to say to SS, "You smell, get in the shower."  It's called PARENTING.

thinkthrice's picture

all STUNK to HIGH HEAVEN.  They have a particularly egregious smell to them.   The Houseshitter was famous for his 20-30 minute soapless showers (TM)  where he would squat down and play with the water running down the drain.  No bathing/cleansing actually took place but it managed to run up my utility bill.

Mountains's picture


Mandy45's picture

With some teenage kids and not showering?? Especially girls we have to fight and argue to get our sd17 in the shower. And even then she just goes OKAAAY I WiLLLL and it still never happens. Theres even been times ive even refused to leave the house with her when we all had to go somewhere unless she showers. Because it looks bad on me. Because everyone thinks she my daughter. So ive started many argument with dh when we had to go in public with her. Because of her poor hygiene. I dont know why it so hard to shower. Take pride in your appearance. But anyway good luck. 

shamds's picture

I would be like “pheeeewwwwweeee hubby!!! Whats that disgusting smell!!” and point in the vicinity of skid and tell hubby to check it out and make sure i am not imagining this smell.

any sane parent would rain hell on idiot skid to shower with a crapload of shampoo and body wash... but hubby is hard on hygiene so if ss doesn’t do laundry properly, hubby is shouting at him immediately to do his laundry properly....

no way i would go 6 days with stemch that bad. Imagine if this is a summer holiday and you smell like you sweated running a 40km marathon, didn’t shower for 6 days straight so the stench has fermented even more... no just no...

honestly embarassment and shame is a good motivator. Some skids do this as a total manipulative tactic just to get on your nerves. You don’t shower, great stay with your mum, stay home and no going on holiday because its your own bloody fault.

its just so wrong that a 3 yr old can be telling mummy and daddy they want to wash their hands and brush their teeth after eating but a grown up more mature kid wants to be that level of putrid garbage disgusting !!

Chmmy's picture

I had to go 48 hrs without a shower because of a procedure and I couldn't get the incision wet and I couldn't wait to shower. My hair felt yuck. Why cant these kids smell themselves or their clothes or just know they feel yucky & need to shower 

SusieCue's picture

have to be told to shower and they are 10 and 15. The ten year old doesn't have her period yet but the 15 gets it regularly and still won't shower during "that time" unless we tell her to, or unless I'm about to relax in the bath and then suddenly she needs to shower immediately. This past summer SD15 failed to shower or even brush her hair for so long that her hair converged into one big dreadlocked knot at the back of her head that had to be cut out because when we took her to a salon they refused to try to brush it out... It was that bad. When asked why she didn't brush her hair she said she "forgot". Also, her breath smells HORRIBLE all the time. This girl changes boyfriends more often than she changes her underwear (literally, she has a new boyfriend every week) and I can't for the life of me understand how anyone could kiss her because I can smell her breath from three feet away. SD10 isn't any better, I just recently discovered that she's been skipping the toothpaste when she brushes her teeth because it's "too spicy and I don't like the taste of mint".