Mornings roar with work. Days vanish. Evenings together that typically begin as late as 7 are lightly jabbed or outright elbowed by calls, emails, and bookkeeping tasks. The weekends aren’f safe either and are often filled with trips to buy work supplies or prep for the coming week.
This week, I’ve come to realize my DH is a workaholic.
With SD15’s holiday visit just around the corner, I am contemplating whether or not DH and I should bring up hygiene standards for the long visit. SD15 went as 6 days without bathing during her last long visit. Disgusting.
I want to remain disengaged. However, I see her nasty habits as a health hazard to my young son. And to me! Think of how many times she picks her nose or wipes her butt!
You are not new. Your grief in losing your marriage is not new. Your anger inspires a yawn. Your lies, an eyeroll and a shake of the head. And then we move on. We have supper. We sing. We dance. We hug and kiss and play fetch with the dog. Unbothered.
What you do has a name. Parental Alienation.
I’ve been feeling happier lately in this whole stepparent world. And I think this happiness comes from simply giving up. The more I step back and keep away from the hope of having a positive impact on SD15, the better I feel and the easier the visits go for me.
SD15 was rarely made aware of my anxiety, but my mind was always spinning with questions about her well-being and various interpretations of her actions. I also worried over her father’s parenting choices and over her mother’s manipulation. Now I just don’t.
I have no hope of changing this behavior of SD15’s. I just wanted to get on here and share it so we could all give a collective sigh of disgust and bewilderment. So that we could cry together about the absurdity of it even being an issue for any human being, whether grown or young.
SD15 has not bathed for 5 days. FIVE DAYS. Can you imagine how itchy she must feel?? I know my butt as well as everything else would be itchy with filth after that long without bathing. Her hair is so greasy too. FIVE DAYS. And it is looking like six after today.
Hi fellow Stepparents,
I have a bit of a radical idea. Tell me what you think. A little history first...