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I love you

Siferra's picture

My SS5 will say "I love you" all the time. He recently went through a phase when he would repeat it over and over to everybody. I always say "I love you too" because honestly, how do you say to a five year old "I have a complicated set of emotions that usually range from tolerance to acceptance of you"

Anybody else feel weird about saying "I love you" to skids?

Comments

not THAT happy's picture

I do I do! (and sd is also 5)
Or all the kissing and huging....
But I have small cousins so I try to picture her as my little cousin and that makes me feel less weird.
We should be happy that at least now they love us, we don't know how long it will last....

alwaysanxious's picture

I've actually wondered how I would respond to this situation. Even though my skids are older- 11 and 15 - but after 3 years, we have never said it to each other. We don't really show a lot of affection either. Their father gives them lots of hugs and such, but I never do.

I would probably feel weird saying it.

A friend of mine has two Bio kids and 2 skids. She feels strange and says she fakes it with her 8 year old SD.

stepmama.of.a.prince's picture

I am very close with my SS2 and I recently said it when he was going back to him mommy's house...and I didn't really think anything of it because, it just sort of came out....
And then FDH brought it up later and mentioned how happy it made him and how he wasn't sure if that would be weird for me...and honestly..I couldn't have been happier Smile

Marie0124's picture

My 2 ss5 tell me they love me and it makes me very happy. I dread the day when it turns to I hate you lol. At that age they are so pure. My as told his little friend at school that he loved him too. I feel honored that they have accepted me. I feel weird being affectionate sometimes but it was the way I was raised. My mom showed affection by doing stuff for us and buying stuff.

Eyes Wide Open's picture

If the adult skids EVER said they loved me, I'd be looking over my shoulder and ready to duck for cover! And, NO, I have never felt love for them. Contempt, pity, rage, but not love.....

Tx mommy of 3's picture

When ss was younger I'd say "we love you" or somethig like that when talking to him. Then he stopped visiting. Now he is a 13 yr old kid I hardly know. So no I don't tell him that. It's weird though. My bios ask me (in private) if I love ss. I never know what to say. I usually just nod, mumble 'yeah' or change the subject. How do you tell a 4&5 year old that you don't love their half-brother? I also don't want to lie... I feel more pressure from dh and my bios though, than ss.

shootingstarz's picture

My DH's youngest said it to me about a year ago... During that time I was really trying to be involved with them so I said it back. I was kind of in shock and didn't know what else to say. Hasn't verbally said it since but recently a couple of months ago made me a picture at school that said I love you. Also made a book at school the end of last school year about our wedding. On one page wrote loves dad and me. The oldest has never said that but used to give me hugs and sit real close to me on the couch. Thinking about all this now makes me feel bad for not having any sort of feelings for the kids and disengaging like I have. But I don't think DH's kid really 'loves' me. I just think they think they are supposed to since I'm married to they're dad. Who knows. But I don't love them. And I don't expect them to love me.