You are here

Siemprematahari's Blog

How long has it been?

Siemprematahari's picture

Hello Fellow StepTalker's!

For those who have been disengaged and/or No Contact with Stepkids, how long has it been and what have you realized has changed from taking this path toward sanity?

It's been over 2 years for me with my H's 28 year old daughter and it has brought me so much clarity, peace and reflection. Once I stepped back and observed.....I realized just how much I was disliked by her. She put up a good front and so grateful I finally saw her for what she really is.

I would not change this dynamic and would not have it any other way.

 

Once CS Ends, Kid has to go?

Siemprematahari's picture

Interesting question I have….how common is it for most BM’s to kick out their child once the CS checks stop coming in? Personally, I’ve seen this happen and I’m starting to think this occurs more than I thought. It’s like the kid was tolerable because the money was coming in but once it stopped all bets are off and the kid has to go. Many times made to go live with their other parent, friend, or family member.

 

Age Appropriate Chores for Children

Siemprematahari's picture

Children who Participate In Age Appropriate Chores

  • Learn about responsibility and contribution
  • Grow their self-esteem, confidence, and a sense of security
  • Strengthen their fine and gross motor skills
  • Develop skills related to working as a team
  • Feel valued and included
  • Begin to form a healthy concept of discipline and independence

Age Appropriate Chores

2-3 Years-

Smothered!

Siemprematahari's picture

New show on TLC titled Smothered! It’s about families, preferably Mother/Daughter relationships who take their bonds to a new level and extreme. These women are ALWAYS in each other’s lives and do everything together. An enmeshed relationship without healthy boundaries and behavior that has no limits. The whole my mom/daughter is my BFF going on. How many of you on here have experienced this from your SD and her BM? What type of situations have you seen, heard, or dealt with?

the.holistic.psychologist on IG

Siemprematahari's picture

Hello StepTalkers,

This is not really geared toward Step Parents perse however I know we can all use some assistance & guidance in healing and being more loving and kinder to ourselves. I know we place ourselves on the back burner a lot due to lifes responsibilities and not to mention step life. So I thought this would be helpful for anyone that is interested.

Have you ever considered relocating & starting over?

Siemprematahari's picture

Have you ever had the overwhelming feeling of relocating to another place and start fresh? Create a new beginning in a new town/neighborhood with new friends and work place? I’ve lived in the same big city for half of my life and I’m over the entire hustle & bustle and desperate for a change. I am making several moves to make that happen but having that fear of the unknown, of uprooting and changing my life is scary.

Not engaging Adult SK....

Siemprematahari's picture

If you are disengaged from adult step kid, do you think it’s over the top if you do not want to be in any functions, outings, or engagements that step kid will be attending? H seems to think that I’m being a bit over board and shouldn’t allow his daughter to make me feel that way. I see it more like I’m removing myself from a toxic person and choose to not be around them….I don’t see anything wrong with that.

What are your thoughts?

Betty White's Refusal to Reconcile with SD

Siemprematahari's picture

I was reading this article from 2010 about Betty White and her refusal to reconcile with her SD. Its intersting how this dynamic also affects celebrities. Sometimes we sit and think that these things only happen to us, that we are alone, but we are not! It was refreshing to know that Betty White felt like most of us do here on StepTalk and she got tired of tolerating years of BS and completely disengaged. After 30 years of this they have burried the hatchet but all in all she stood firm to her beliefs and let SD know that she's not taking the bullsh!t and life still goes on.

Pages