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Sia's picture

My life sucks!!! I want a new one; in the witness protection program…..does anyone know where I can spy on some mobsters or something???

I had yet another fight with the demon child yesterday, only this time, I left. I took the boys and went to my moms. I did go home later that night after he made her go to her moms…… You know, I have a strict belief that people should not hate each other, but I am about as close to hating this child as it can get. She has gotten into this pattern where I will ask her to do something and she will start running her mouth and I will get pissed and then she storms off because “she can’t deal with me being mean to her”. DUH….don’t talk to me like that….and I won’t be mean……stupid! Then she goes to her room and pouts and eventually gets out of whatever I have asked her to do. Yesterday was one of those days, only she took a swing at me and missed. I swung back and didn’t miss. You know, DH actually had the nerve to tell me that I was the adult and should have walked away. Maybe, but…. Excuse me, but if you are adult enough to swing at me, get ready for the smack down…. Ya know…. Smile She is a trouble maker to the highest degree and I cannot take it anymore. If it isn’t her, it’s her psychotic BM. I feel like a caged animal they keeping poking a stick at and I can’t get away from them. I swear I don’t know what to do. I DO NOT want to be a single mom, and I DO NOT want my boys to be products of a divorce. He told me that he would make her live at her moms if that’s what I wanted. WTF, why should I have to make this decision? Why, so he can resent me for the rest of his life, no thanks. However, I don’t want to resent him if I stay because he won’t grow any balls and stand up to the stupid kid. Since we are in the middle of this “building a new house” thing, we would be financially ruined if we back out now. But, if she lives with BM, we will have to pay her an exorbitant amount of child support and then could not afford the house anyway. But, if she stays with us, I’m afraid she will cause us to divorce anyway.

My only solution is to tell him that she can stay with us, because I want my house, and our boys deserve a nice home and to live in a better area. After all, they didn’t ask for any of this turmoil. BS9 asked me last night if she could stay with her mom, because he doesn’t like her there causing problems. Also, if she stays, she MUST go to counseling at least once a week and he must go with her. He's not been taking her regularly. He needs counseling too. I will see where that leads us I guess……. It is the only solution I can come up with.


Elizabeth's picture

I am in the same situation, so if you want a sounding board I am available. How old is SD? SD14 hit me once when she was 10 and I made it clear that she would never do that again. It seems to have worked. But I went through hell over it, including BM accusing me during mediation of hitting SD. Which I never did, but I did swat her on the rear twice (which is the reason she hit me).

SD wants to go live with BM, and husband agreed, but now she won't go! I would have SUCH a better life if I only had to see her occasionally, instead of all week every week and some weekends and holidays. Currently, she will be at our ouse from Feb.4 to Feb. 22. I'm about to go out of my mind!

Sita Tara's picture

They will both go out of their way to make sure she doesn't get caught at something or not tell on her, because they hate the tension in the house.

It sucks.

DH and I have decided that every other Sat I will take my boys to do something nice and he will have SD and BD. That way she will start to see what happens when you sabotage everything for everyone lose out.

She wasn't happy we went to the library to see my mom, then out with my mom to an ice cream parlor last week.

My boys are going to like this arrangement I think!

IF you can't leave, and she can't leave, then my recomendation is to take your boys somewhere every Sat SD is there to have some peace. Look for free things to do that are fun but won't break your bank account.

Peace, love, and red wine

Sia's picture

She lives with us, and so I can't leave every Saturday....unfortunately. She's 16......I sure wish she'd get a job and get out of the house more often!!!!

laurels4u's picture

I find myself thinking about the same things regularly.... should I stay or should I go now, actually it becomes some repetitive that it sounds like a know the one? And it echoes on and on. I've decided to stay knowing there will be trouble but I love my DH with all of his faults and have to believe that it will somehow work out. I hope the same for you, too.

Stick to your guns and demand the counseling.

All I'm asking for is some good old honesty served up fresh when I ask for it without the side order of hot tongue and cold shoulder!

whatamess's picture

I can't imagine what a nightmare it must be to live that way. We only had EOW and I was about to loose my mind...Soon we'll be moving back closer and I don't even want to imagine. I've basically told my DH that he can go see her and me and OUR son will go elsewhere. I'm just not dealing with the whole psychotic BM/SD mess any longer.

I say that if DH is willing for her to get out, then just say yes. So he resents you? Well, it's either that or he ends up resenting you because you are so miserable that you are always arguing about her...

I can't imagine that some of you have had these kids hit you. That has never happened to me, but I can assure you that would be the last day that SD came anywhere near me, period. You see, these skids know what they are doing...If they hit their own parents, their parents would kick their little behinds...but if they do it to a step, they can always put the parents to fight against each other...No way that should ever be tolerated.

Good luck...thinking of you...