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Things that make you go Hmmmm....

Shieldmaiden's picture

I got home from work yesterday and DH called me as I was pulling into the driveway. He had to go to the pharmacy to get his medication because he was out. He always wants me to go with him on the drive to run errands. He knows I don't like running errands after work unless absolutely necessary. I usually get all my stuff done on the weekends so I don't have to worry about it when I am tired. 

Well, he says "If you go with me, I will buy you dinner at (really good local burger place.)  Normally, he is kind of a cheapskate, so I took him up on his offer. I have been eating health food all week and I was really craving a burger. Once we get underway, he says "Oh, and we are bringing the Sd's dinner, too."   I said "OH. THAT'S why you offered me dinner!" 

He said "No, don't be like that." So apparently he had struck a deal with the SD's 16 and 19 that he would buy them dinner once a month and bring it to them. I usually don't go with him, as I didn't make that deal. He tricked me into it. So, basically he uses my car, my gas, and my time to deliver food to his spawn. I was annoyed at the trickery - as he knows how I feel about his kids. But I decided since he didn't give me a choice, I wouldn't give him one either. I ordered the most expensive thing on the menu and a side order - knowing it would stick in his craw. LOL.

Then, when we pull up in the pouring rain outside the ex wife's house. I see him standing with his back to me, and I hear water splashing. I asked "ARE YOU PEEING ON THEIR LAWN?" To which he replied "NO!" then gave me the "Shhh! " hand gesture to indicate he was peeing on their lawn but to be quiet about it. I did. I just thought it was wierd that he suddenly had to pee so bad when we were at his ex wife's house.I kind of wonder if he is sorry he made that deal and feeling a bit passive aggressive towards his kids? 

By the way. SD's didn't bother to pick up the phone when he called to say goodnight. Both of them sent him to voicemail. He is really seeing them for what they are now that he has told them to behave themselves. 

Comments

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I'd've been ticked. He needs to reimburse you for the gas and your time. No, I'm not joking.

The next times he plays this game? Tell him he can UBER to BM's with skid food. YOU are going home.

Merrigan's picture

Okay, I get peeing outside if you're camping in the middle of the woods, or there's an emergency somehow. But peeing outside on someone's lawn, and especially your EX WIFE'S lawn?  That's gross AF. 

Stepdrama2020's picture

Peeing on a lawn for some species means you are marking your territory. Think about that.

Also that was pretty lousy the way he told you that he is picking up dinner for the SD.s, thats how you got dinner. He is a cheapskate unless the SD's need something. Oh hell no he owes  you for gas etc. What a way to take away from you. He is getting you dinner, oh and SD's as well. It wouldve been different if he told you right away, but nope. Made you feel special then he takes it away.

Jerk

 

Kes's picture

Why in heaven's name is he buying them dinner once a month and "bringing it to them"?  to me this is just weird. You say he "struck a deal" to this effect.  So what is THEIR end of the deal? 

Cover1W's picture

YES I know!  So wierd!  AND the fact he still calls them every night to say goodnight. That's not for them that's for him. All of this is for HIM.

Personally, I would start saying N.O. to him each time he asked me to do things with him on a whim. The only time I'd have dinner with him or pick something up is if myself, and only myself, was doing so.  I've done this before. DH was wanting me to do another pick up for YSD because she doesn't eat normal food and doesn't eat restaurant food - in addition to me picking up dinner for he and I; no, that was not the plan. You and YSD figure it out, I am sticking to what we planned and you can let YSD know this.

CLove's picture

Sd16 powersulk does the all the time. Lets just get this or do that because "its on the way".

Yesterdays's picture

Sounds like the shittiest deal ever. Why on earth did he agree to this weird deal?! Also can't he just do something nice for you without it being about them? He's bringing them dinner to bio moms house to enjoy without him? Strange AF. Also why is this a DEAL?! Also strange... I think as a parent we do nice things for our kids, however things like that aren't to be expected or as some type of deal that is made?? 

advice.only2's picture

Maybe things your DH does seem normal to you because you have been desensitized to his behavior, but peeing on somebodies’ lawn, doing a deep dive into somebody’s background while hopped up on "sleeping pills", tricking you into doing stuff with him, this guy has issues.  I don't think your SD's got it all from their mama!

Shieldmaiden's picture

You are right. I am aware of his issues. He is bona fide nuts, but also very cool in a lot of ways. I am not ok with the manipulative behavior, though, and he knows it. 

The peeing is a guy thing, and I've witnessed many guys do this. I just wondered if he was annoyed with his ex wife or the kids or both. LOL.

 

Ispofacto's picture

At least 13 states require sex offender registration for public urination, according to Human Rights Watch’s comprehensive review of sex offender laws in 2007. In Texas, you can get a ticket if you’re caught urinating in public. However, under Texas law, it’s possible for urinating in public to turn into an “indecent exposure” charge which can turn into a sex offense.

thinkthrice's picture

H is a passive aggressive martyr with masochistic tendencies.  But I'm not a psychiatrist.

Shieldmaiden's picture

The deal he made was: we can store our small boat on her property, if he buys them dinner once a month. i was against storing the boat over there, but DH said she offered and didn't want' payment. Then later he made this deal on his own. I'm not sure if BM asked, the kids asked, or Dh felt guilty.I don't care because the boat is in the process of being repaired and doesn't run. If it goes missing its insured, and DH mostly paid for it. If he wants to put his money in the hands of the woman who took his life savings, that's his deal. Frankly, I am tired of waiting for him to finish fixing it.