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Thankful for our excellent Moderators

Shieldmaiden's picture

I just want to say I am extra thankful for our excellent moderators. I was briefly on another site that is supposed to be a safe place for stepmom support. It wasn't. Some chick named "Anonymous" commented on my comment in a very attacking, negative way. She sounded like a HCBM, too. She was saying that we have to show "respect" to our stepkids, which means we can't discipline them at all, lest we hurt their feelings. 

I disagreed, and then the mod got involved, also using "Anonymous" as her handle. I googled her and she has one photo on her FB, which is of her newborn baby. I kind of wonder if either of them are stepmoms at all. Well, I noped outta there. This is why this site is so  important for stepmoms. We actually get support!  HCBM's are not allowed here, and we all stand behind our comments. 

So thank you, mods, for being so cool. Mother's day is a hard time for us stepmoms and no one really cares how we feel in the real world, so I am glad I can share here.


1st3rd5thWEInHell's picture

Thats kinda scary....Were the anon posters using their govt names or actual email address?

I would hate to have our identity easily found, not necessarily because of BMs but just in general, imagine my job finding out that I post my personal life details about being a SM online? They would probably stop taking me seriously or worse they would have much stuff to gossip about.

I am ashamed to be a SM and that is not something I like to disclose at work or in serious environments lol

Shieldmaiden's picture

While I understand the need to use a pseudonym on these sites, the moderator couldn't even come up with a pseudonym so I wouldn't get her confused with the HCBM masquerading as a SM?  It seemed kind of like they didn't care who was on the site. Also, "Anonymous " is what comes up on your smartphone when someone prank calls you. LOL.

1st3rd5thWEInHell's picture

Thats quite dumb but not surprising of that crowd (BMs with issues). Looks like cybersecurity is not a concern since it does not stand on the list of infringing upon custody and collecting the max child support lol

Rags's picture

Prior to finding STalk. I was in a small online community that was of notable quality and very similar to STalk.  SParents supporting each other, recommending solutions, etc..

Over my STalk years, a few members from that community have joined and checked in via direct message.  There have also been a couple of spin off communities that  have formed with former STalkers.  The ones I was aware of have faded.

This is a wonderful place.

I completely agree that the STalk Admins are outstanding.

CajunMom's picture

I found a group on CafeMom. The group had formed out of SMs getting bullied by BMs, even in groups that were meant for stepmoms. Lots of trolls on that site. They formed a private group, then "stalked" the crazy groups for people like us....that's where they found me 17 years ago. While our group has disbanded, 6 of us stayed super close. We are from all over the USA and get together as often as possible, usually once a year because of our massive dynamics. These ladies saved my life and my marriage.

I was a bit hesitant when I found this site but gosh...after a year plus being here, I am impressed. Better, I've learned so much from everyone on this site. Can't say "thank you" enough.

CLove's picture

Everywhere actually. So yes thankful for moderators. Although it would be nice if I was told I was going to be censored AHEAD of being censored, but its not a car Im going to chase.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

When I'm online in the wee hours, my focus can be limited to the task at hand. I apologize. Messages regarding edits are typically sent shortly afterwards. 

CLove's picture

Thats pretty much what happened. Thanks for letting me know. i think also being in different time zones and all that it probably has an impact also.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I'd like to thank you members for your assistance! There is not enough time to read every comment on STalk and it's easy for things to slip through the cracks. So I thank YOU for flagging comments and/or sending PMs. I'd very much love to sit down with so many of you for a cup of coffee/tea (yes, I drink tea!) or glass of wine and talk. *give_rose*

Livingoutloud's picture

Yes thankfully this site is not focused on making SMs to be scape goats. And moderators share the view and uphold high standards of behavior! Kuddos.

"We have to respect stepkids." That's all fine but what about them respecting SMs? Let's cater to daddies and stepkids only? Suuurrre I treat my stepkids (and my DH) well but if they were jerks towards me, no thanks, I am not bowing down and dancing to their tunes. I'd not be a good fit in that other forum! 

well yeah anonymity is important (years ago there were people here outing other people-scary), but com'n make up some name! Not "anonymous" lol 




Watereddown's picture

I posted my first blog and got hammered by a troll AND a hateful pm. Aniki took it down fast and was so nice reassuring not to take it to heart it was someone hating on a stranger and all bs. Someday maybe I'll be brave enough to post again .