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SD21 wants to breed

Shieldmaiden's picture

Submitted by Shieldmaiden on Mon, 03/27/2023 - 4:06pm

Since my DH couldn't take time off for vacation this year, I took some time off to use my vacay days before I lose them. I just relaxed, slept in, gardened, and it was awesome! Then DH told me the SD's let it slip that BM and her new boy toy are taking all the SD"s to Hawaii on vacation. Ugh. How can she afford this when we can't? I swear she has some insurance fraud racket going on. The chick is so crooked. Yeah, go ahead and reward the little juvenile delinquents while the rest of us work.

But I am willing to just forget it and pretend this isn't ludicrous.This is the same woman who didn't have a working stove/oven for 3 months for her children to make food on.... because she "couldn't afford it."  But then DH got very excited, saying that SD21, who was a lesbian right up until her girlfriend dumped for a man. Now SD21 has a new boyfriend. DH is over the moon because they are talking about getting married. SD's boyfriend's parents are burnout methheads. Dad in jail and mom in a meth zombie coma. Sounds like a great family to marry into, huh? Oh, and don't forget! Marriage means grandkids! DH wants grandkids sooo much. I don't. I want to be left alone and not asked to show up to awkward family gatherings and babysit more little psycho brats. Why? Why can't she just stay a lesbian and live with 15 cats like she always said she wanted to. (She said she hated kids and didn't want any, but now I think she has a fantasy that they will bring her closer to Daddeee-kins. ) I tried to let DH down gently - asking him to prepare himself for the fact that SD and her boyfriend are heavy drug users, and that any child brought into that would not do well. I also re-iterated that we are not going to be raising any of his grandkids, and that he may want to remind her of that now. 

Ugh. Anyway. Not my problem until I have to move out because DH can't say no. Lets hope he remains strong in his resolve. 

 

Comments

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Mon, 03/27/2023 - 4:14pm

I can't even imagine having to remind my husband that we aren't raising the children of his addict kid! My heart goes out to you! Here's hoping she goes back to the V and gets a cat!!

As for BM... I dont get it either. I don't know how these welfare queens live their best lives while the rest of us work our butts off for what we have!

 

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Mon, 03/27/2023 - 4:16pm

I want to add, that I don't have an issue with families that need assistance. My own parents did when I was young. You know what "vacations" looked like for us? Driving to grandma's house in another state so we could play on a farm with cousins. Camping- TENT camping- in the park 20 miles away. Not freaking Hawaii!

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Mon, 03/27/2023 - 5:40pm

Everyone needs help now and again but there is no way able bodied people "need help" their whole damn life. 

Further, if you are receiving benefits OF ANY KIND and you go to Hawaii or other expensive ass vaca, have a 90k SUV, etc. your benefits should be revoked. 

Call me evil, idk. 

 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Tue, 03/28/2023 - 6:59am

In the beginning, i accepted doing things with/for SO's brothers' kids. Even looked forward to it. But they took advantage so many times, and they and their kids were so dysfunctional, that it ruined the experience for me. I'm done with all that (babysitting for the children in SO's family.) I don't even feel bad about it. SO is like "Well what if something terrible happened and there was nobody else and blah blah blah....?" If every other possible caregiver besides the state were dead, then maybe. That's the only scenario. 

daisydiamond82's picture

Submitted by daisydiamond82 on Tue, 03/28/2023 - 7:42am

Oh god. This does not look good. As someone who works in healthcare, I'd also like to add if she and her future husband are heavy drug users and then they have kids... wooo buddy. They better be ready for CPS visits. And if that baby is born addicted to something it's gonna be even worse. I hope your DH starts to change his expectations of what grandkids mean from his daughters. Doesn't sound like any of them are real winners. I'm sure it will be hard for him to let that dream go, but better to have the right expectations now than later on down the road.

notarelative's picture

Submitted by notarelative on Tue, 03/28/2023 - 10:19am

And when CPS visits, if they figure out the heavy drug use, be prepared for the phone call asking if you will do (kinship) custody when the children are removed. Think now about what your answer will be. For if you take (kinship) custody and SD and the dad don't get their act together, you could be raising these kids till they are 18 (with CPS visits to you checking on your custody).

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Wed, 03/29/2023 - 1:32am

My neighbor has had this situation.   She eventually lost her only child (daughter) to drugs and has been raising her granddaughter (who is going the way of HER BM sadly) at age 15 since she was 6.

It all went wrong with neighbor lady trying to be BFF with her daughter when we moved here 17 years ago and I instantly recognized the pattern having dealt with the Girhippo's "parenting" techniques.

Nothing but heartache and constant drama for neighbor lady and for her SOs throughout the years. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Tue, 03/28/2023 - 10:19am

I want to be left alone and not asked to show up to awkward family gatherings and babysit more little psycho brats.

NO. That's what you say when someone asks you to brat-sit. Tell them NO and look right at them - unblinking and not smiling - when you say No. Do not look away.

And if someone has the gall to try and force their kids on you? You walk away. Drive away, if necessary.

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Wed, 03/29/2023 - 1:35am

Should do everyone a favor and pay for SD's tubal ligation. 

Elea's picture

Submitted by Elea on Thu, 03/30/2023 - 12:38am

Bratzilla Sdiabla26&23 may be insufferable but at least they aren't popping out drug addicted SGK's. I cannot even imagine. I hope they never have kids. So far OSD can't keep a BF and we think maybe YSD is gay or maybe she is just a very slow, late bloomer when it comes to having an interest in romantic relationships? Not sure, don't care as long as it doesn't affect my life. I have no desire for grandkids for at least 10 years or until my BK's are financially settled and ready and then  would want bio gk's, not grand diabla's. 
As far as Hawaii, just be glad that you aren't having to spend your vacation with SK's. I'd rather vacation at a ostrich farm than spend my vacation with SK's, even in Hawaii. 

1st3rd5thWEInHell's picture

Submitted by 1st3rd5thWEInHell on Thu, 03/30/2023 - 1:30am

Sounds like this never ends just like me....

My husband was telling SS21 to be careful and not make the mistake of having children young with women you didnt plan on being with. SS21 said that it was his problem and he can choose what he wants to do. My husband said that if you get them pregnant,you have to marry them and be a father....SS21 said that his kids will need grandparents and we are the best option....im not sure why....his mother again gets to live it up without any consequences....birthed kids and no consequences or responsibilities, then her kids are now talking about having children and all of a sudden we are "grandparents"

 

I exclaimed "kids are so hard to deal with, thats why I AM A DOGMOOOM" and hugged my dog....

I know ppl will be expecting me to take care of grand stepkids, that will be the last straw for me