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Money for nothing

Shieldmaiden's picture

Big surprise, I thought maybe SD19 had the sense not to ask for anything this Christmas, since her and her sister were so awful to us during Thanksgiving. But no. She tells DH she wants money for Christmas, or nothing. He asked what she needed it for, wondering if BM was pressuring her for rent. She said "Oh, this and that."  So, basically video games, art supplies for her home projects, and other things that distract her from the fact that she doesn't have a job, a car, or a drivers license and plans to live with BM forever. 

I told DH "Its not such a bad thing that BM is asking for a little rent. SD19 needs to be looking for work, not playing Sims and Minecraft all day. He didn't say anything. He really wants to buy them gifts for Christmas, so....     At least they aren't allowed to verbally harass me in my own home anymore. I guess I will take that win and leave this alone.  So tired of the freeloading without a plan, though. I let DH know this. He seemed to think about it. Maybe after Christmas he will bring it up again with her. "Um, sweetie? How's the job search and driving lessons going?"  

SD19 "FINE!" Acts offended and angry and pouts for the rest of the day.......Here we go again.


JRI's picture

Forgive me if I missed a post.  Did that meeting with the 2 witches ever take place?  You had a lot of guts to agree to that.

Yesterdays's picture

I missed this too. Are they allowed in your home at all after all of the craziness went down? 

Shieldmaiden's picture

Yes, I did meet with the harpy twins, the younger SD's 16 and 19. They told me how little they think of me and their dad. Then their dad snapped and told them they can't say negative things all day when they are over, otherwise they must leave. They also can't bring up the past - which gets twisted into new and interesting versions by the oldest SD 21, who is now saying I slammed her head in a freezer door when she was 14. (Never happened. ) 

But, I told DH I wanted to discuss what the agenda of the  meeting with SD21 is before we tell her we will meet with her (at a neutral location.) The reason for this is I dont' think that there is really a chance that I will believe anything she says, since she has been telling lies to any family member that will listen about me - calling me a child abuser. So, no, I don't want to meet with her because how can I believe that she's had a sudden change of heart? She wants to be able to come over to our house for holiday dinners starting next year, but I dont' think I will ever agree to that, given her unrepentant behavior. 

I did, however, put motion sensor cameras in the kitchen and living room and dining room - so that the younger sd's can know that they aren't going to make up any stories about me being a child abuser - I have proof now of whatever happens in my home. 

Yesterdays's picture

Asking for money instead of a present.. Is absurd and very bad etiquette and in poor taste. Asking for money or nothing is somehow even more cringe worthy. Asking for more money or nothing after having been a big a$$ to family not long prior.. Even worse. 

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

something particular someone is saving up for that is a big ticket item. For example, my sister asked for only money this year, but she is a college student who is going to Italy over spring break this year so rather than presents she wants to put that money towards experiences, etc. during her trip. Saying money or nothing though is very rude. 

Yesterdays's picture

To me that makes sense too. But her SD is lazy and sitting around playing video games jobless.

CLove's picture

SD16 PS this past year or was the previous one? It was within the past few years. I think a birthday. She had indicated she wanted a mixer to bake. My mother had bought her an expensive marble rolling pin and "board" and this time was doing an expensive mixer.

I slipped it out to confirm that would work (did not keep my mouth shut!!) SD16 said "Oh Id rather have money I dont want the mixer". Told my mother who canceled the order, and just got a card. She was REALLY put out, and I now understand better why. 

SO, not I do not bother asking Skid what she wants. All she gets is a card and a money thing. No shopping for anything special for her thats not going to be appreciated at all.

Ispofacto's picture

"Well, that sucks.  I was going to buy her a diamond tennis braclet but she won't want that."



Shieldmaiden's picture

SD16 had the nerve to ask for a stuffed chair for her room. We don't have money to furnish the house right now, but sure - we'll drop a couple hundred on a stuffed chair that you can use 3 days a month. WOW. She is soo self centered and clueless!

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Why isn't this a gift EXCHANGE? She's an adult, after all. Your DH should be reminding her that as an adult she's supposed to give as well as receive.

I wish you and your DH would text her YOUR Christmas wish list so she can buy YOU presents.

Shieldmaiden's picture

Oh, because neither one of the harpy twins actually has a job! They aren't expected to work or do chores. This is something I fought with DH over, but its too late now. They are BM's failures to launch now, and she can keep them.... forever!