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How do you keep privacy w smart phones?

shellpell's picture

How do you all maintain privacy of your home and children from BM if your skid has a smart phone with camera? SS is 11 so I'm sure soon he'll be asking to bring a phone on next visit. (So far, DH has said no to bringing electronics to our house). I DO NOT want pix of my house or kids texted to BM. Our current set up for visitation communication with BM (since we are long distance) is that SS Facetimes with her several times a week in his room with door closed.

What do you with teen skids do regarding phones? Outright ban? Or no privacy?

*Trolls with be deleted


TimeToGo's picture

This isn't JUST about BM. Kids need to be taught that it is NEVER appropriate to share pics of other people's private spaces or of other people, without expressed permission. Basically, if kid wants to Facetime in his/her room, share pics of his/her room, fine. Beyond that, ask permission EACH TIME. 

shellpell's picture

Yes, totally agree. But what if skid doesn’t care about other ppl’s privacy? Especially if he’s “encouraged” by BM to be sneaky? I think the only thing to do is to jistnallow skid to have phone for FaceTime in room and no other access elsewhere.

shamds's picture

And stepdad to see because they feel that entitlement because they are glorified half sisters with no intentions of maintaining a relationship unless they get a financial/empowerment benefit out of it. My kids are toddlers and have not agreed to having their pics sent to strangers which is what their half siblings remind us what we are and my kids pics should never be sent to their half siblings bio mum and stepdad. 

I have told hubby this and his wife is batshit crazy psychotic and he should never be having my or our kids pics sent via skids to the exwife, i never agreed to these but hubby doesn’t get it, he does not see the harm in it

StrawberryPie's picture

Shell, I cannot stress enough how important privacy is your own home.  I am with you!  My SD16 was snooping (at BMs request), - taking pictures, spying on us and I felt and still feel so violated.  And my DH turned a blind eye.  And I am still very angry at him for that. 

Fast foward:  now there is an ongoing conversation at home about appropriate phone use and the importance of privacy.  My DH checks SDs phone for inappropriate messages and pictures.  But honestly, once the trust is gone and that privacy has been shattered, its really hard to get that feeling of security back.  

If you find an answer to this that works - please let me know!

shellpell's picture

I had a long discussion with DH about how I value my (and my children’s) privacy and that I cannot have SS (someone who dislikes and resents me) have photographic access to our home. As long as he’s a minor, he will not be allowed a smartphone in our home. My peace of mind is more important than SS’s freedom to have a phone. If he wants any photos of stuff/activities outside our home during his visits, DH will take them and email them to him. I cannot live knowing that skid could take photos of me/our kids/our house and show them to god knows who. Plus, he NEVER says anything about Bm, Not that we ask.

shellpell's picture

Even if your DH checks her phone, she can still send pix and texts then delete them right away.