For some reason, I cannot empathize with or feel sorry for DH about SS11- whether it's about his lamenting how similar he is to BM, his utter averageness, or things like only seeing him around 25% of the time and not having enough influence on him. And for the record, I am an empath and can really feel people's (and animals') pain, which makes it hard for me in a lot of ways. I have a block when it comes to DH and Ss. Does anyone else have the same issue? Is it because SS has been a sulky spoiled aggressive little jerk ever since I've met him?
Update on the (now-deleted) blog on the European trip where we saw in-laws who refuse to pare down relationship with BM.
I had wondered if I should let DH take our two little ones to see in-laws without me, but 99% of you said that I should be there as part of the family unit and to show in-laws that DH and I are a team. So that's what I did. You adviced me to be nice and distant. I was great with the nice part, but dammit, I'm too nice and not distant enough!
How do you all maintain privacy of your home and children from BM if your skid has a smart phone with camera? SS is 11 so I'm sure soon he'll be asking to bring a phone on next visit. (So far, DH has said no to bringing electronics to our house). I DO NOT want pix of my house or kids texted to BM. Our current set up for visitation communication with BM (since we are long distance) is that SS Facetimes with her several times a week in his room with door closed.
What do you with teen skids do regarding phones? Outright ban? Or no privacy?
*Trolls with be deleted
Does anyone have this problem? SS11 has been here for almost a month and he's same old skid- sulky, unfriendly, rude and selfish. He has maybe said 30 words to me the entire time he's been here. I am basically disengaged, but just his negative black cloud presence has resulted in horrible cluster headaches that started not too long after he arrived, insomnia, and general lack of well-being. I know that some of it is anxiety due to my being an introvert, so anyone other than my DH and two kids in the house for long periods is stressful, but some of it is because he is who he is.
As I had posted on another (now deleted) blog post about taking our two shared kids to Europe this summer and maybe seeing the in-laws who have no respect for me and no boundaries when it comes to BM. I have no problem with DH seeing them at all. But they will want to see the kids.
Someone had made a comment on a previous blog post that a rule I was thinking of implementing for skid would have the result of his thinking I don’t like him or want him around. The fact that something I wanted to do would have that effect wouldn’t change my mind in the slightest. I don’t care if skid thinks I don’t like him. I can’t base my decisions on whether or not he may think that. So this begs the question: do you care if skids think you like them or not? Why or why not?
Ugh, I hate it when SS11 is here and touches or uses things that specifically belong to me. I got a mini-trampoline not too long before his spring break visit and one of the first things he does is start jumping on it. I have an old piano in storage that my mother had given me that I'll be bringing into the family room next year because my 3.5yr old will be taking lessons then. DH just told me today that BM just had SS start piano lessons.