What should you do?

Change the locks. 

Seriously, a teenage boy has put his hands on you more than once, and his ball-less father allows this. I stand corrected, call the police first and then change the locks. 

I agree with the others, press charges on him. Taking a phone away is not grounds to attack someone. Press charges, and stop parenting, disciplining, or being alone with SS at any point. Put it all back on your H's shoulders, and start planning your exit.  Anyone who defends someone who's just attacked you isn't worth staying with.

1. Police - press charges and find out what you need for a restraining order.  Take pictures of any bruising, etc.

2. Lawyer - This kid has attacked you more than once and your H thinks it’s your fault?  SS isn’t the only one who has no respect for you in your household.  You need to get out of this relationship.  You are not safe.  This behavior will continue to escalate.

3. Women’s violence shelter.  Start working on your escape plan.  They can help.

Please get out of that toxic and dangerous situation.

Wow. I wouldn’t stay a minute longer with a man who allowed his son to physically assault me and then blamed me for it  

And this is why it doesn’t work for stepparents to be the only disciplinarian. 

Absolutely agree with the other posters.

1- Go to the magistrates office and file charges and a Restraining Order.

2- Contact a lawyer. See if you can change the locks on the house.

3- Seek counseling ASAP. Do not get sucked back in to this cycle of abuse. 

One of the things that I am afraid of, if my SS14 comes to live with us is him getting physical with me. He is going to be angry. DH is going to be gone. I am a tough mom, mean mom at times. I am also a really fun and understanding mom, but I don't take any back talk or disrespect from any of his or my kids. I have already told DH, and he fully backs me- If SS14 ever lays a hand on me, I will call the police. DH agrees that if SS takes it to that level we have to have a united front and we have to make sure that he is held responsible as a juvenile to understand that you can't hurt people, especially women, especially women that are smaller than you. I was abused by my exH. DH knows and is the best supporter of me in all of my issues from that. He would never allow me to feel unsafe in my own home. 

You have a shit husband. I am sorry to say that. I have had one too. You have to get out of this situation and not look back. You don't deserve to be hurt in your own home. You don't deserve a spouse that turns his back on you when you have been hurt- even if it was his son who did it. 

Please keep us updated.

your husband should protect you from this. If your mentality is that reporting this kid to cops for physical assault is going against wedding vows, how many more times of this treatment will it take before you accept your life is in danger?

will it take 10 times of this followed by one occasion when he comes with a baseball bat and whacks you till unconscious? Is daddy dearest gonna protect poor little ss??

what happens if this skid did the same to your own kid? Would you justify it as reporting that to the police is going against wedding vows?

abuse starts with manipulating the victim to feel guilty for reporting you, that somehow you are the baddy. Lots of people lose their temper but never do we go grabbing peoples throats and tackling them to the ground.

i’m visualising that for a moment in my home and i would be calling the police and if hubby tried protecting his son, if he justified and excused it and didn’t have my back, we’d be getting a divorce. No way would i take that multiple times.

any parent that allows this treatment to continue without repercussions is telling their child this is perfectly ok to do to people when it isn’t

Hon, you should have pressed charges against this hoodlum the first time he assaulted you. 

You definitely need to go the police and report this. Especially if the police need to take pictures of your bruises/abrasions for the file. File a restraining order against the son. Change the locks on the house ASAP.

Your husband's man-child physically assaulted you and your jerkwad husband blamed YOU. There is NO EXCUSE for you being attacked. NONE. For that POS "man" to condone his son's act of violence is despicable. I would not be surprised if he took off with his psychopath son to hide him from the police and the possiblity that you would file charges.

YOU NEED TO FILE CHARGES.

SS has already attacked you TWICE. If you are foolish enough to stay, expect it to happen again. Please love yourself enough to protect yourself.

What's with the well if its dad's phone or you should've disengaged drum beating? That ish can't be for real.  I mean come on, really?

Hands around the neck of another person is damn near never justified.  That aside, do those drum beaters understand the significance of escalation to the throat of the victim? Ignoring that, kids blow up is beyond disproportionate to the cause of his rage.  And no, rage is not an understatement in a choking situation.

Kid clearly doesn't have a grip and dad should be extremely concerned about that.  He's not.  His actions prove that.

There are posts on this site that I shake my head at but some of these responses? WTAF?  Gross, people.  

@OP - you need to speak to the police if for nothing more than starting a paper trail.  Please do not let the he said she said or victim shaming trope discourage you.  You. Were. Not. Wrong.  You will not be the one to decide whether or not charges are pressed.  Resources available to victims of domestic violence will be able to offer guidance on next steps including restraining orders, securing a safe space and navigating the court system should the state decide to pursue charges or even if they don't.  There's also a chance to get this kid help in all of this which clearly his father has failed to do.  

It is not your fault skid put his hands on you.  Don't believe anyone who would suggest otherwise.  

If you don't press charges and get this punk ass in the legal system now, some poor girl he beats on will. Please think about his next victim before you decide to do nothing.

And to the idiot who thinks the cops will care about a confiscated cell phone: police were called to my home for that very issue. The lovely female officer ripped my SD a new orifice for wasting department resources and for disrespecting her parents. So clearly, you don't live in reality.

would basically get laughed at by the police for lodging a report of physical assault and that it won’t go anywhere.

its people like this that give a bad image on reporting domestic violence saying it won’t go anywhere and thats why plenty of people in domestic violence situations do not report. Except they are surprised when they report how the police assure them, advise of services such as shelters, support groups etc...

this stepmum is in a scary enough situation and she’s being blamed for putting herself in this situation instead of others supporting her. Disciplining this unstable abusive hot headed feral skid probably not the greatest idea but i doubt polie will laugh her report off and roll their eyes saying its a waste of time. 

There is supposed to be this code that real men don’t lay a hand on women. So we have 2 pussies here at home abusing women. Op husband is just as bad as his son for allowing and putting her in this situation.

op do you have family or close friends  nearby you can call to talk things through?? You need to have their support in this time.

Sometimes you have to call the police to get your other half to realize how bad the situation is. (I did it on BM and it changed my husband's attitude). Remember that just because you call does not mean you have to press charges but it may give your husband a kick up the backside that something is seriously wrong and he needs to keep his kid away from you and adress the boy's behavior properly. 

If your husband continues to take his son's word against yours then I would continue to report any more physical acts of violence and move out (or get them to move out depending on whoes place it is, talk to a lawyer if it is joint property). You deserve to feel safe in your own home. 

Let's reverse this whole situation and then see what all the posters spouting off about the OP being in the wrong have to say.

Sounds to me like the one's protesting so much that the OP is to blame are "those parents" the ones whose special snowflake can never do any wrong and it's somebody else's fault that their precious snowflake got in trouble.

Shenanigans - I haven't read every post in this thread - there are so many!  But speaking as a woman who suffered emotional abuse in her first marriage - I hate to hear of any woman being subjected to physical or mental abuse and I hope that you take the necessary steps to ensure that this young man NEVER lays hands on you again.  No matter what "provocation" there is never any excuse for physical violence - and your DH condoned it.  Really, my dear, get yourself out of this toxic situation.  

I think this is definitely an area that it may be hard to press charges since there were no witnesses.. and the closest other party is possibly siding with the SS.  this doesn't make it right... and if OP has bruises/marks.. that COULD bolster her case with police.

It seems that either way.. she may need to leave the relationship because it's clear her husband is not going to protect her and in fact will protect her abuser.

this child the dad is enabling him to became an agressor, and abuse women in the future domestic violence maybe even murderer that's how they start call the police

Make it clear to your DH, skid goes, or you do. You deserve a basic modicum of respect in your own home, and certainly don't deserve to be assaulted by some ungrateful brat skid. If it happens again, call the police. If his father won't straighten him out, then maybe the legal system will.