My dad and ss21.5 and family weddings
So earlier this year my dad was meant to fly to hubbys country where i was living but was rushed to hospital for emergency surgery (he’s perfectly recovered and fit to fly). Hubby originally bought a ticket for my dad to spend time with us every year and we managed to reschedule the flight because of the emergency surgery.
It turns out there will be 2 of hubbys nephews getting married. The day after i arrive , one nephew is having a wedding reception, following weekend another nephew is getting married and having his wedding reception.
The day before we fly out is my 3rd end of semester uni exams. Believe me i want to relax after all the studying and not have to go to weddings but my elderly fil is on and off not well (usual old age medical issues) and hubbys family all miss our toddlers and their favourite cousins will be there.
My dad now is chucking a hissyfit. He wants to stay in our car for several hours when the wedding reception is taking place as we are driving a few states over (2-3 hour drive). We are even staying at a hotel resort for privacy and to relax. The weekend after i arrive of my hubbys 2nd nephews wedding, will also be our yearly family holiday where we do fun activities and catch up.
dad asked if ss21.5 is coming along?? I said I don’t know his uni schedule or take notice of it, because honestly i do not care. I assume if he is free then he will come.
dad said he doesn’t want to go and stay in his country because sharing a hotel room with ss (which hubby is paying for) is torture because there is such a negative vibe and ss 100% pretends you do not exist, his excuse to hubby is he didn’t do anything wrong, he feels so uncomfortable doing a polite basic conversation or hello. This is the same way he treats hubbys family.
i feel like there is no point arguing about the same shit with skids. Look i get it from my dad but i was the one feeling he full brunt of ss’s behaviour towards us because he was living in our home when not at university. Me, hubby and my dad know ss won’t change, he’s repeated multiple times we are not family, that we are strangers including my 2 kids with hubby (his half siblings) so frankly speaking, i just don’t give a shit about ss and go about my daily life and studies.
I left hubby’s country to escape skid drama and crappy behaviour towards us and to focus on finishing my university studies and my daughter starts kindergarten in my county in a few months. Now my dad is starting drama, hissy fits and issues too. Its like I can’t ever escape this shit ever. My dad likes hubbys family and my fil is very welcoming
look i get my dads views on things and in all honesty i just want to spend time alone with hubby which we still will get to do even with the weddings, but staying home just isn’t fair on family who miss my kids and my kids no doubt want to see. I get my kids ate young 2.5 and almost 4, that they won’t care about weddings but they rarely get to see their cousins seeing as they are overseas so this is just an opportunity for everyone to catch up.
family is about sacrifice is it not? Having a great time and catching up too? But my dad is such a pessimistic negative twat that he just ruins the mood for anything you want to do or plan and our flight overseas is only 5 hours so its not like we are traveling for 24 hours and completely jetlagged.
i just feel like saying to my dad “you know what?? Eff it!! Stay home and be a cranky old fart,” but i bite my tongue and play the diplomat managing issues on both sides. I miss some of my inlaws and want to catch up because its important but my dad makes it to be an even bigger issue than it really is...
now i’m venting to hubby about my frustrations... its like i can never escape the negativity ever...
this is me venting and for others to vent too if they deal with similar issues...
My husband knows my dad doesn’t like ss, how he treats others is the same way he treats hubby, but ss won’t change his behaviour and continually says he did nothing wrong. Repeating the same studd abiut him and his issues isn’t productive, it is what it is...