DH’s kid has stubborn, spiteful, immature, childish idiots for parents. Yes…..I realize one of these people is my husband but I’m steamed about two different issues right now.

Issue #1 – DH’s kid is a freshman and was given a chance to get a special college fund that would multiply the savings at the end of her senior year by 5. All her mother needed to do was commit to $45 a month. Uberskank refused. So DH told his kid (get this) to tell her mother that he would pay it for her. Seriously DH? Where do you get off using your kid as a go-between? I politely and calmly pointed out that he shouldn’t make a 15 y/o girl responsible for discussing these financial issues. That he should email or text Uberskank and explain that he’d be willing to deposit $45 a month for their kid to use for college. It would amount to about $9-$10K when all is said and done. He said his kid is capable of discussing this with her mother and he said he “specifically” told his kid (again) to tell Uberskank to email, call or text if she wanted to discuss. Again….not a 15 y/o kid’s responsibility to be her parents’ messenger.

Issue #2 – DH’s kid has an opportunity to be a foreign exchange student. She was very excited, which is very unusual for her to work outside of her comfort zone. Her excitement led DH to encourage her to go for it. I told DH that’s great, but he needs to be prepared to be the one to bank-roll the trip and it’s going to be completely up to him to make it happen. I said the burden of this would be on his shoulders financially, mentally, emotionally and physically. Uberskank is unemployed (by choice) and has for the most part written off DH’s kid as an adult (since she became CP again in 2009 when the kid was 13). I said she will give lip service to the trip but in reality will not help her get there. I pointed out again, don’t encourage her unless you’re willing to swallow some pride and be the bigger person. So he said he would. His kid even came to me for advice on how to fill out the paperwork, which countries she should consider, etc. which she actually used to answer some questions.

This was all two weeks ago. Last night I got home from work and DH was in a snit. He said I sent a text to the kid, and she said she didn’t get the college paperwork turned in and she hasn’t turned in her paperwork for the exchange program. You wanna bet Uberskank has been working her over for the last two weeks? Telling her she’s too broke to pay for it and ruining it for her? I told the kid to tell her mother I would take care of both of them!! He started ranting and raving about how selfish and bitchy Uberskank is and I said…….HOLD IT DH!

Excuse me…..but did you ever send a text or email to Uberskank yourself? Did you once send an email to Uberskank and say….look, our kid has two opportunities ahead of her and I’d like to make it happen for her. If you’re willing to sign off on the consents, I’m willing to do X, Y & Z for our kid. His response was no, I told the kid….that’s when I said STOP! It’s not the kid’s job to be your messenger! Haven’t you been listening to what’s been going on in her life? Her mother won’t spend a dime on her except to bribe her with crap. The only new clothes and decent shoes she gets are the ones you buy for her. All we hear about is how her mother is always taking trips with the kid’s little sisters and buying them expensive gifts. But Uberskank is constantly crying poor to the kid, so she doesn’t have to throw any money her way. I said, Jesus Christ DH! A month ago your kid offered to barter chores with you in exchange for a lousy $100 worth of new spring and summer clothes she needs. Not wants, needs. How can you not see what’s going on over there??

How could you leave it up to a 15 y/o kid to discuss this stuff with Uberskank? You know they’re in the middle of a power struggle! I have been explaining to you this entire time that it would be up to you to make this happen for the kid. But oh no….he continue to rant about his ex and what a horrible mother and person she is. He actually said at least the kid would see what kind of a mother she has.

And that’s when it hit me. He set up Uberskank for failure, the way she’s done to him so many times. He purposely went through his child on the financial matters of the college fund and trip, knowing full well the kid would either not tell Uberskank or Uberskank would simply brush it off as the kid bragging about her Dad. Now I know full well Uberskank is a rotten human being, but why couldn’t he swallow his freaking pride and step up to the plate on these issues? Does he even realize he f**ked over his own kid out of spite for his ex? I was so disgusted with DH, that I couldn’t even look at him last night or this morning. He makes me sick.

I know I have no control over this situation. Even if I hadn’t disengaged a few years ago, I still wouldn’t have been able to change the outcome. However, what’s worse. I’ve lost a lot of respect for DH in the last 24 hours. All he does is rant over people doing EXACTLY what he has done. He’s a hypocrite and a jerk. His kid is not my most favorite person in the world, but my feeling is if she earned the opportunity to grow, then her parents should have done everything in their power to help her see it through.