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Return of the poor, poor skid or Return of the Disney Dad (warning - some language)

Shaman29's picture

I seriously thought we were past this kind of bulls**t, but I guess I was wrong. This is long and I'm venting but I'm so pissed at DH right now.

Poor, poor pitiful skid, she's got it sooooooo rough. Now while I think Uberskank (BM) is a lazy, piece of shit, narcissistic Harpy, I'm TIRED of DH constantly making it the reason to bend over backwards for his kid. I'm completely fine with him doing good things for his kid but enough is enough. Seriously DH your kid is fucking PLAYING you again!!! And it's going to fucking bite us in the ass!!!

The skid has been having issues with Uberskank for about five months now. Some of it's the normal teenage (she's 16) pushing the limits with mom thing, I warned DH this would happen (so did a counselor). Some of it is honest resentment from the skid because Uberskank is a lazy bitch who feels it's the skid's responsibility to raise her sisters (the skid's little sisters are 8 & 9, each one of these girls has their own BD).

This last weekend she was supposed to be at our place for a visit. She asked DH if she could spend the weekend with a friend, they were thinking about going to the beach. He told her as long as Uberskank was fine with all of this, then he was too. He feels the skid deserves a break because Uberskank was hard on her about her progress report and grades. I need an eye-roll here.

Come to find out Uberskank was not okay with the skid going to the coast, because with the exception of the skids' friend, she didn't know the other kids involved or who was driving. DH was smart enough to agree with Uberskank and let his kid know she was not allowed to go to the friends' house.

Now all of this happened Friday afternoon. I was stuck at work, so DH went to go pick her up at the bus station in a city 45 minutes from where we live. I get a call a from DH asking if he could bounce something off of me. He asked me how I felt about the skid staying with the friend anyway. I explained that was up to him, since Uberskank only had an issue with the beach trip, not her staying with the friend. He said he would talk to the skid, get a promise not to head out with kids she doesn't know and let her spend time with her friend "Because I feel sorry for her and the way Uberskank has been treating her." Another eye-roll please.

Fine. Good. No skid this weekend. DH comes home full of stories about his wondrous child and her Evil Uberskank. If I roll my eyes any more they'll fall out. But what ticked me off is he started telling me that Uberskank had a problem with the beach trip (a day trip) only because she didn't know the other kids. I said that sounded reasonable to me. DH started to argue with me, saying that she's 16 now and it's time to give her a little freedom.

DH....really??? A little freedom is allowing her to go on a day trip to the beach with a few friends that you've met and know. I explained this to him and said "If skid was our child and you let her go to the beach without meeting these kids and getting their parents information, I would rip your head off and jam it up your ass." How could you let your 16 year old daughter go off with a few teenage boys you don't know?? These are not kids she goes to school with, they are friends of a friend who has made questionable choices in the time we've known her.

DH's only argument was that she's mature enough to be trusted. He kept trying to turn it around to make it sound like I think his kid is evil (well...he may have a point }:)). When I said this has nothing to do with his kid, it has to do with HIM making sure she is safe. Getting names, parents names and phone numbers. Possibly meeting these kids so they will associate a parents' face to the cargo they are carrying. DH responded, that's Uberksank's job. I trust the skid.

FUCK ME. I said DH, what would you do if I said 'Hey DH, I'm going to the beach with some friends this weekend. See ya, Bye!'. His response you might ask?? He said he'd ask ME who I was with, has he met them, who would be driving, where would we be going and when would I be back.

Really? Why would you ask me these questions? Don't you trust me? He said of course but I would want to know all of that still. I said why would you ask me these simple questions but not ask the skid these same question? He response.....I trust the skid and it's Uberkskank's job to get that information.

No DH....goddammit....it's your fucking job too.

Comments

Shaman29's picture

Exactly! You know what he's doing? He's pulling the two wrongs make it right BS. Three years ago at the last hearing, Uberskank told the judge that DH babied their kid too much and he wasn't allowing her to grow up. That she's 13, nearly 14 and practically an adult.

He used this as a point that he was right in "trusting" his kid, since three years later she's more of an adult now than she was then.

I pointed out that Judge Judy (not her real name, but sure acted like her) would have a very different opinion about how he feels about this.

alwaysanxious's picture

Yeah, he's falling into the mommy won't let me cause she's mean.

Two things here make no sense and he is not picking up on it
"I trust the skid and it's Uberkskank's job to get that information." OK, so then he should trust her decision to NOT let her go
also, yes you are right this is his job too. He's putting all the responsibility on BM AND all the blame.

I hate when my SO does this. Its like he thinks because he doesn't agree with some of BMs thinking he can't agree with any of it. Our BM actually makes sense sometimes and just because princess doesn't like it doesn't mean mommy is being mean. Mom is being safe.

Shaman29's picture

The funny thing is he didn't really agree with Uberskank's decision. But I told him if he wants to stay out of the courtroom then he better present a united front with Uberskank when she says no to the skid. He felt she was being over protective. When I said she was being reasonable (for once) he disagreed and said it's not right that she stood in the court room 3 years ago and told the judge that the skid was 13, nearly 14, that's practically an adult! But when the skid wants to hang out with her friends, she needs to know who they are because suddenly she's MOTY.

We went round and round with this whole thing. We didn't argue but he kept presenting his dumbass reasons for thinking it's okay for his kid to go off with people he doesn't know. I finally said, you do what you want but don't you dare come crying to me when Uberskank hauls your dumb ass back to court because you were too stubborn to see you're pulling the same shit Uberskank did three years ago. Your skid is 16, and until she turns 18 you better think long and hard about these situations.

Lately the skid has been complaining because Uberskank has been in her face about her grades and complaints about her talking in class all of the time. So she restricted her phone and friends. Again, sounds like the Harpy is being reasonable. Right??

Two weekends ago, when the skid should have been visiting her father, she asked him if he would mind if she stayed home and studied. He said he understood and we would drive (1.5 hrs) to have lunch with her on Sunday. Over lunch we found out she spent the entire weekend with a girl friend "studying".

Same thing this last weekend. Over dinner last night DH asked the skid if she had plans for the Superbowl. The little angel responded that she'd just be hanging out at home because she's spent the last three weekends with her friends.

DH didn't even bat an eyelash over the fact the skid has been complaining about being on restriction, but spent the last three weekends sleeping over with friends. In fact he commented on the drive home "I'm sure glad I let her stay with X this weekend. She obviously needs a break from Uberskank."

Did he totally miss the part where his kid is obviously NOT on restriction and that MAYBE he's being played??