OK, I pulled one thing out of there, but no way would BM be having access to our streaming services. SS used it at our house, but he was not allowed the password.  BM can pay for her own with the 1K in Child Support (my DH pays 1K too - for an almost 21-year-old.  3 more payments!)

DH needs to tell SD to knock it off.

"Hahahaha... honey.. we aren't poor.. you are poor.. we just choose how we spend our wealth wisely"

Takeout every night really adds up to a lot of money down the drain. That plus the brand name clothes, no wonder BM is always broke. I would use every complaint as a chance to try to teach SD that. Not that she will listen but if she ever hopes to launch she will need to know. My SO had a daughter who paid no bills, worked 20 hours a week, and blew it all on takeout, gas, and weed. She was literally baffled as to why she didn't have any money in the bank! 

Ahhh, money discussions. Aren't they grand?

In all seriousness, has DH sat down SD and actually had a talk with her about money and her snobby attitude? Has he taken her to see folks who are ACTUALLY poor? Has he put her on a "budget" so she learns the value of a dollar?

I understand where you're coming from. DH and I live much the same way. The "benefit" we've had is that Eternal Teenager blows through every dollar she ever makes, and she doesn't spend a lot of time or effort on making the few dollars she has. DH has been forced to have conversations with his kids about finances because ET crying poor and blaming DH was a pretty consistent theme. While our conversations with the boys are likely different than the ones your DH needs to have with SD, he still needs to have them. And he needs to deliver consequences accordingly.

What does a 12 yr old know?  Don't let a stupid little twit make you feel insecure,.  Cooking at home is great - it shows you have some skills and knowledge how to produce lovely meals for a fraction of the money of eating out all the time.  

I remember NPD BM and the SDs used to laugh at us when they were growing up, because of the obscene level of CS my DH paid to them, they could afford all sorts of things we couldn't, including a big house and foreign holidays.   We now have the last laugh because NPD was always useless with money, and is in financial trouble, while we have just bought a big house in the country.   I could hear the screams of fury and jealousy coming all the way from her place when she found this out.  

Spawn looked down her noses at DH and I about money as well, but really she and Meth Mouth were just poor trailer trash who happened to live in a nice house because somebody else was always footing the bill. But it sure as hell wasn't Meth Mouth buying Spawn her designer clothes and purses and make-up.

Your SD12 is silly.  British people don't talk about money ever if they are really posh.  They also don't wear logo clothes.  The really old money people I've met wore twin sets and pearls or tweeds.  Ask her if she ever seen the young royals in branded clothes.  LOL.

If you are feeling mean you could use the phrase that I used to use to shut YSS up when he was being a pain about how much was being spent - "You know the cost of everything and the value of nothing"

Put her on IGNORE like she never even said anything.

You should take this and run with it. Have a little fun. Nope, can't afford the XXX you want, we're poor remember. No, can't stop at McD's - we're poor. SD just handed you a get out of jail free card. 

and was always asking DH for the latest shoes, hoodies, etc.  DH and I have a nice house..it's a fixer upper in progress. We own our cars, including the cars the kids drive and take very good vacations.  Travel is important to DH and I so we prioritze that.  We eat at home 6 nights of the week and go out on Friday.We are not rich though and DH pays Beaver $1200 a month in CS.  Beaver on the other hand loves to have mani/pedi, eat out for every meal, buy the lastest beauty product (it ain't helping) and lives in a getto condo.

I always had to tell GWR...YOU are not rich.  You do not have ANY money.  Your father and I have money..and we are not rich.

GWR is what I call "faux rich".  He dresses like he has MOOOONNEEYYY...the shoes, clothes, etc..but in reality he couldn't afford the dollar menu at Taco Bell.  I remember one time he wanted a $300 Gucci belt...I laughed.  He then asked ..."Do you even KNOW what Gucci is?"  

Should have seen his face when I responded.

"YES I KNOW WHAT GUCCI IS.  Before I had kids and was single I had a LOT of money.  I have three, count them 3 Gucci watches upstairs and about 10 Gucci Scarves.  So yes, I KNOW WHAT Gucci is.  I also know its rather uncouth to flaunt your wealth."

I would also change every streaming password in our house...and report that an unkown person is using my streaming services.  

When my bios were 12, DH1 was still alive. We lived in a nice house, in a very nice area. We belonged to the area pool. We always went on a nice vacation. But, we were careful with money and saving for college for two. We didn't buy brand name things and usually bought on sale. Years later YDS said to me that when he was a kid he always thought we were poor because we'd say that we couldn't afford (we'd say not in the budget) the keep up with the in crowd things he wanted. 

SD is 12. She has no idea yet of budgets and priorities. My bios decided they wanted things we would not buy so they got paper routes as soon as they were old enough. Magically the things they previously wanted were not bought when they were spending their own money. My bios were grateful that they didn't have the outsized college loans their friends with all the trendy things had.

I think it's good if SD thinks you're poor - maybe she'll have her hand out less and lower her expectations.  Of course,  it sounds like she doesn't really think that; she just wants to complain.  I'd just treat her like you're poor. You and your DH know what you have,  why care what she thinks about finances?

Literally looks down her nose at us. Little does she know that DH paid for the roof over her and her mothers heads and the CS pays for everything she has including her private education. We're ok with that. We wouldn't want our younger 3 to turn out so entitled.

I would let her "think" that.. I'm sure she knows you guys aren't "poor" though she sounds like she just using that to buy her stuff. Who cares what she thinks. 
 

Shes baiting you guys. Don't feed in to it or let it bother you. 

Don't worry what she thinks or SK thinks.  You do what you want, you have control over your life .  Keep it that way. 
You like cooking so cook. If SD doesn't like it she can go to BM for fast food.

As long as you role model to her to be nice to everyone even those that have what you consider less she will be fine.

My Sd14 considers our side as "middle class". And she considers my family to be "rich". Her bio grandfather has wealth, but she doesnt benefit from it.

I would definitely have a sit down with sd - she needs to hear it, even if it doesnt change anything.

I'm going to be very honest here. I would rather my step kids think we are poor than have them think we're rich. Mine seem to believe that we have an endless supply of money and they openly tell everyone as much. This has caused them to be the most entitled and wasteful kids I've ever met. If I could go back in time, I would do more to conceal from them how much money we make because it's irritating to see them treat H like an ATM.

Hahaha.... children.

She'd be shown poverty by volunterring with the homeless to teach her a lesson if she was mine and behaved this way. 

Exwife for the whole 14/15 yrs of their marriage. She couldn't even be bothered to do any home chores, any cooking. She thought it was too beneath her and ordered McDonald's everyday. This has resulted in 2 adults who lack any palate for healthy and good home cooked meals. 

for my birthday or hubbys, i made a whole roast chicken, roast veggies and gravy. Ss stormed out of the house telling daddy he needed to go to the store to buy chilli sauce to make it taste nice. Rude prick he is. Thats his subtle balless way of saying my cooking aint good but the hilarious thing is bio mum can't cook for shit.

it was laughable when she had eldest sd tell daddy she needed his sisters number for a cooking recipe like she turned into nigella lawson or gordon ramsay. Hubby and his sisters had a laugh about it.

hubbys exwife spent their whole marriage bragging how upper class and refined she was (her behaviour was far from it), then hubby divorced her and within 3 months was promoted to vp at his company. He was then promoted to snr vp. Bio mum was spewing when she found out hubby had met a caucasian woman much younger and attractive.  Feel the pain bitch to know you and your feral failure to launch reject of kids treated that hard working man like dog shit and his salary has now jumped to 8 times what he used to earn whilst married to her and he spends it on his loving wife and 2 young kids.

skids are just village type people, they want daddys noney to rub it in peoples face, not to do anything productive with it.