Saw this facebook post where a bio mom goes off on SM....
short story:
Dad texts BM a few days before Saturday to see if he can pick up the kids early that Saturday (10am isntead of 2pm) because he'd like to bring them to a birthday party on SM's side.
BM says no problem.
BM texts at 9am Saturday and says Sorry, my mom's in the hospital, I'm going to take the kids to see her... so actually you can pick them up at 4pm.
DH says 3pm. Bm says ok. BM drops off kids at 3pm.
Dad and SM asked the kids how grandma was doing, how was their visit to the hospital... kids didn't know what they were talking about.
Next day once the kids were back with BM, BM sends ranting text to SM about how SM isn't their mom, she has no business taking the kids to HER family's parties, to stay out of the kids lives, and that because of her the kids feel like crap that they weren't allowed to go to the party while SM's kids had their faces painted and a loot bag etc...
How would you respond?
I'd respond that the kids missed out on it because BM didn't let them come. She lied, saying she was taking them to the hospital, she didn't. The kids could have participated.
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I'd say "Girl, you got caught
I'd say "Girl, you got caught in a lie. Deal with it."
Do not respond. Responding
Do not respond. Responding will only make things worse.
Now since all of this is documented it can be taken to a lawyer if you ever want to try to change custody as it shows toxicity on BM's side. It also shows she lied to keep the kids later then what I'm assuming the CO states.
No it's not a lot but you don't respond and SM should block BM since there is no reason for them to be in contact.
BD should not be discussing his plans with BM since she shows that she is willing to lie to prevent him from being able to involve them in activities she doesn't approve up. This does mean that BD can't expect to ever get the kids early.
Basically BD starts parallel parenting instead of co parenting since BM doesn't intend to do it herself.
If it's on one of the step
If it's on one of the step site,
I would've said... BM caused her kids to miss out on fun, not SM and not Dad...
I wouldn't respond. And mom
I wouldn't respond.
And mom should not lie. Simply tell no, she's not giving up time with her children to accommodate his wife.
I would also tell my kids to use this response anytime SM or dad asked them anything about what occurs in my home "please call mom and discuss that with her".
I get the whole "ask mom"
I get the whole "ask mom" line if children are consistently being interrogated for information but I don't think it really applies here. Dad and SM asked how grandma was doing .... I think that's an appropriate question when you hear about anyone's loved one being in the hospital. It's nice to know people care. I don't think it's fair to kids when anything about the other side of their family is a taboo subject.
As for the post itself, mom is being difficult, no sense replying when there is not a right answer. Can't win by including the kids, can't win by going ahead with plans without the kids.
I agree that the kids
I agree that the kids shouldn't feel they have to answer questions and shouldn't be asked about the other home BUT there is nothing wrong with asking them how they are or other simple stuff. It's polite to ask when you know family is in the hospital.
My rule is if I wouldn't ask my friends child I wouldn't ask SO's kids.
How's school going?
How's soccer?
How's your dog?
Stuff like that is all part of being around kids.
Is mom dating someone new?
Did mom say anything about dad?
Is mom leaving you at grandpa's while she works?
Not appropriate.
totally agree
totally agree
That causes other issues
That causes other issues sometimes too... BM was putting the Skids through stuff she knew she shouldn't. Threatened the Skids so they wouldn't tell us anything about their time with BM... Reallt put added stress on the Skids to be limited what they could talk on. And really stressed it DH on to why she was hiding it. When it came out it was awful...
Anyways, I don't think the kids should feel they can't talk about whatever they want. They're kids, if the relationship between both homes is gonna be good for them it's best for them to be able to communicate how they choose. Takes the stress from them. If you aren't doing what you shouldn't then there isn't anything to hide from the other side anyways.
I would not respond. Crazy
I would not respond. Crazy loves company.
She said SM has no business
She said SM has no business taking BM's kids to parties, and then b*tched at her that her kids missed the party and had to see SM's kids got face paint and loot bags?
Sounds like a real idiot. I'd ignore her totally and then take all the kids out to do something fun just to piss her off.
She sounds like a total
She sounds like a total idiot. And yeah just don't bother responding, it's not worth the hassle! Some people are just idiots unfortunately .
*I didn't respond, nor do I
*I didn't respond, nor do I plan to lol*
Not responding is what p*sses
Not responding is what p*sses them off the most, and yet no one can say you did wrong. As they say, "Don't wrestle with a pig".
Sounds like our BM when the
Sounds like our BM when the skids used to come over for regular visits.
We never responded to her BS because she expected a reaction to use against us. We never gave her that opportunity.
Didn't stop her from making things up though!
I would not respond and I
I would not respond and I would block her from ever been able to contact me again.
My question is why hostile BM
My question is why hostile BM has SM's phone number? Nothing wrong with giving your number out. I have SM's number but it's for emergencies and we aren't hostile with ex or her. It sounds that these exes aren't amicable. So why exchange phone numbers?