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SD9 becoming a preteen.

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We both knew it would happen, BM made the mistake of being a friend first and a mum second to my SD9 and is no suffering the consequences.

The positive thing is BM is communicating very well with my DH, both in regards to positive and negative aspects of SDs behaviour. But BM is starting to struggle, SD is getting very verbal. They are having shouting arguments almost daily, SD point blank ignores her BM, wont get out of bed, generally being difficult, etc. 

Long time no see!

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Hello again everyone,

It's been over 3 years since I last posted on this site. So what's changed?  

I stopped looking at StepTalk shortly after I married my DH, I had spent many hours browsing on here and frankly some situations and stories from other members really bothered me. So I decided to log off and enjoy life with my new husband and step daughter. 

I'm not just a step mum anymore as last year my DH and I welcome OUR baby girl to the world. 

Changing Jobs

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This time last year was a difficult period for my DH and I in regards to work. He was working on a temporary contract, all was fine, they were flexible for arrangements for SD.
I on the other hand, work in hospitality, I requested to work less evenings (I had ended up working ONLY evenings, regardless of there never being this agreement) and was told it wasnt possible.
The temporary contract came to an end and they offered a permanent contract to my DH, BUT were not able to be flexible for SD. Given my hours at the time he couldnt take the contract.

Just a note

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Just a quick note to say YAY I am married now!

We ended up doing two parties; one at home for friends and family to celebrate with us before we jetted off. Our second event was a more private affair, just 6 of us, on a private island for our main ceremony, followed by a boat cruise and an awesome dinner.

Best day of my life? Easily. Just an utterly perfect day, followed by a great honeymoon.

Still on cloud nine and just waiting to see the professional photos. Drama from BM? Nope, not a word.

Would you call this domestic abuse?

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The downward spiral of domestic abuse...

As some of you know/remember, I relocated when I moved in with my fiance, so whilst I still have contact with friends back home it was important for me to make new friendships here. It surprised me how much more difficult it can be to actually meet and make friends as an adult. Its more, individuals rather than friendship groups, but anyway I'm getting off topic.

Abortion...Kind of

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I got into a debate with a family member over the christmas period and was quite surprised about their point of view.

We were talking about contraceptive and that basically men are on a bit of a back foot in that their contraceptive options are; condoms or no sex (sorry I am not regarding "pull out" method as contraceptive in this debate)
Whereas women have a larger range of options; pill, injection, implant, coil, female condoms, etc, etc.

Well done fiance!

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I am one of the few with a better step-scenario. My fiance and the BM were never married, they were dating but not living together when BM found out she was pregnant. BM wanted to abort, my fiance didnt agree with abortion and they then moved in together in attempt to "do the right thing" their relationship died before SD was born, BM then cheated and my fiance kicked her out when SD was newborn. BM tried for custody but didnt succeed due to lack of work and housing, she spent 2 years getting her things in order, took him back to court and gained primary custody when SD was 2.

Wedding Costs and more importantly THE dress

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Our wedding date is creeping closer; 5 months now, so many things are all arranged, paid for, all done and just waiting for the date to arrive. We have even dealt with the things that we forgot about in our original budget.

BUT theres one item that is being rather difficult to pin down, THE dress, I had found a dress I liked the look of online and found a very similar style in a boutique so went in to try it on. Discovered that dress is really not right for me, really doesnt compliment me what so ever!

Foetal Alcohol Syndrome to be considered a crime?

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This morning there was a short news story about whether a child born with serious disabilities caused by their mothers alcohol consumption should be compensated as a victim of crime. The speaker went on to suggest whether mothers who knowingly consume alcohol during their pregnancies should or could be prosecuted if their baby is born with foetal alcohol syndrome. The argument is that it should be considered a crime, causing harm to another human being , yet the current argument is whether or not a judge, or indeed the law can consider a foetus an independent being.