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How Much More Can I give

Seasons's picture

Dirol

I am just not so sure anymore I haven't been here in awhile I encourage others to come here as I feel that it is safe and supported by you. I feel alone and frustrated. I am paying most of the bills in my home with help of my other family members that rent from me so there isn't as much room as there used to be in my home we have to share. Well the skids don't like this because they don't have their own room. Sometimes my DH gives me a bit of money to pay the mortgage at the begining of the month then I have to pay him back so he can pay credit cards and some of the utilities. I bought a 250.00 bunk bed so that my SD16 can say well I don't want to sleep on the top bunk bed. Then my SS15 can say yes we don't want to come over because we don't have our own room, people smoke (cigs outside outback), there are dogs that live there (outside)and we don't have anything to do. They hardly come over anyway because the BM has a better house better things for them to do and better people to be around. I need this place to come I feel like I am a horrible person I have painted given the skids their own rooms before now BH doesn't make money that he used too and he can barely pay his CS and credit card debt let alone the mortgage on my house and utilities. So I have my BD21 and her NonBioDaughter21 friend sharing a room paying 200.00 a month plus my BD paying 300.00 and we still barely make it. SD16 has her own car I get a ride from my BD and BM and I am in my 40's. My car is broken... I could go on but, need to get back to work... Will share more thank you for being here.

Comments

onebright1's picture

Im sorry, and I am there with ya. Moved in with SO when I lost my job after 10 years. Every day is just so hard. Then the BMs top each day off with whip cream and a cherry. I hope to find a job soon. I have been diligently looking. What I would like to do at that point is go back to separate homes. But dunno if SO will agree to that. I was told by a friend of his that that would be a break up if we did that. I just see it as going back to what worked before.
I do think part of the reason we are so down on ourselves right now is the no job thing. I have worked since I was 14. Only stopped 2 times for 6 weeks. Dont get me wrong, If I could stay home and still have money for needs and bills that would be great. But I am in someone elses home, with BD, and it just doesnt feel right. There was another poster on here who was living with SO and now they are still together but living separate. I wonder how she did that?
Try to find a job you will enjoy which will give you some time away and some cash.
Hang in there Smile

Pook's picture

onebright, if moving out is all it takes for SO to break up with you, then it isn't much of a relationship to stay for, is it?

onebright1's picture

True, and I agree, And I dunno how he would feel about it, his friend is the one that told me that but I am too chicken to suggest it right now. Just in case he does the whole, "go now" cuz now, I have no where to go.

Pook's picture

Seasons, is there anything that could be done to ease your financial situation? Him moving out or you moving out? Drastic measures, and certainly don't listen to me, but the stress is going to kill you.

Seasons's picture

My financial situation is just that my DH has too much debt I can't count On him for financial help as if he gives me money I have to give it back. Gratefully I am employed DH isn't moving out again it is not an option for us I just don't know how to help him with his guilt from skids