It may not be perfect - it may not even be acceptable - but it can't help but be better to not have someone you don't enjoy in your home 24/7.

dup

It just depends on the boundaries that you and your spouse do or do not set.

Some parents let their kids run their lives and jump every time they snap their fingers.

Some parents will not allow their kids to be independent of them. Their lives can only be identified as meaningful by their kids. They wont allow them to grow UP and figure life out.

Let that resonate with you a little.
It really does depend on the parent.

START planning vacations ''''HOOT HOOT"

Me and DH have had this talk multiple times and each time he swears he is on the same page as me but I just don't know. BM likes to harp about SS5 will eventually be able to decide where he wants to live and she's convinced he will choose her. I think it will hurt DH a lot more than he's willing to admit but we have six more years before it might happen. Whether SS sticks around until he's 11 or 18, DH says once he is 18, BM will cease to exist. Now from reading here, I find it highly unlikely it will just end like that but here's to hoping it does.

Wow - that is exactly the question that I am now facing. SD17-almost-18, is so completely DEPENDANT on everyone else, I am afraid that she will stick around forever. She has never held a real job for more than 1 week (1 job), has no permit...no license to drive. Always asks for money and rides. Disney Dad makes food for her, she just walks in the kitchen, takes it, eats in the living room or her bedroom and we don't see the dishes for a few days. Daddy does her dishes. She never lifts a finger to help, except when she needs money.

Ive just recently had the "launching the daughter" talk. His response is that he wants her to graduate high school. Then she needs to get a job. She has applied, but all the places she WANTS to work, she needs to be 18. She refuses to apply at any fast food places, because she is pescatarian, and only eats seafood and pasta and chocolate.

He sais that he has had the "talk" with her, told her that to live in our house after high school she will need to pay rent. I just don't see him pushing her to do anything at all, thusly enabling SD17 to do absolutely NOTHING. They have had many arguments and we have had many arguments and I have had many arguments with SD17. I really do not want a roommate. I specifically do not want HER as a roommate.

So I do not see her "launching" successfully anytime soon, therefore I am formulating my exit strategy as well as looking towards just being successful in my own life. Separately. All the power lies with my SO, in making decisions, I came in late to the game, and am realizing that having the "responsibility without authority" really sucks.
I do look forward to the time when we are somewhat "empty nesters"!!! the house to ourselves, and enjoying each other's company, having friends over, going on trips together...trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel.