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Alienated Kids and Christmas

sandby's picture

This is likely the 3rd Christmas that my DH will not see his kids. According to the CO, he’s suppose to have them from noon Christmas Day until Jan 2nd. I’m sure he will go and try to pick them up and document that he attempted visitation and find the house where BM and the kids are staying completely dark.

He sent their Christmas cards already, which he always sends registered mail. BM never bothers picking up anything he sends from the post office, so it really doesn’t matter what is in the envelope. But he has to document trying for the next court appearance.

This year the gift he included was a certificate to go on a 4 day snowboarding trip that listed all of the fun things they would do and has no expiration date. He likes to point out all the things that BM is depriving them of but if the kids actually open it, they’ll see it as a bribe and flaunting the money he has.

It doesn’t cost him much money, so it’s no big deal really. Hell would have to freeze over before his kids actually took him up on the offer. He got the idea from some other dads he communicates with through Facebook about parental alienation and they constantly encourage him to never give up and keep trying to provide tangible things to prove he’s been trying to have a relationship with his kids and BM is preventing it.

DH's life has improved so much since he finally was free of BM. BM’s life has imploded and she will never let go of her hatred towards him or let her kids have a relationship with him. There isn’t any Christmas card or gift that’s going to help them get over that.


StepDoormat's picture

Yikes. I fear this is my very near future. Do you ever wish your husband would "give up". I know that sounds horrible. There was a period of time when I was his biggest advocate, feeling like it wasn't fair how he was treated, etc. Then, I started getting tired. Tired of the drama, the hurt. Sometimes, DH is equally tired and doesn't feel like working on things. Then, sometimes he seems willing to try anything just to get shut down over & over.

SOmetimes, don't you wish he'd just "give up" so you didn't have to see him go through it?

sandby's picture

My DH feels like he can't give up because it would reflect very negatively towards him and our family. If he chooses to walk away from his kids, then there's some truth when BM and their kids say he chose me over them. He doesn't want to give BM and the kids that power.

hereiam's picture

Seems to me, they have all the power now. I know what you mean, though. This is one of those damned if you do, damned if you don't situations.

RedWingsFan's picture

I'm sorry. Kinda going through that right now with my DH. PAS is in full swing with SD14 and BM and he just went to her place last night to have a talk (check out my blog from this morning for more details if you want).

I sometimes DO wish he'd give up. Life without SD in the picture is great, no tension, stress-free and relaxed. But it's his daughter, his only child, and he has held out hope that she'll turn around and mature ONE day and quit hurting him.

It KILLS me to see how badly this is hurting him and it makes me resent SD14 that much more.