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Disengagement continues

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I got upset earlier about something but then remembered not my monkey not my circus and went about my day.   Something about how his dad took the whole day off work because he might have to take him into the doctor because he was feeling sick.    Well about 4:30 took him in, waiting on the verdict, my guess is flu is that is going around .   I'm feeling pretty good, once I put it into perspective that why am I obsesing over everything, if this kid wants to eat crap, sleep all day and skip school as long as there are no ramifications for me not my problem.  School called yesterday that he wa

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Laundry day

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I think he purposely starts his laundry and goes  to sleep so he doesn't h ave to do it.  He is the only person in the house that takes more than a couple of hours to do two loads. Then the dishes, what is with only putting dishes in the dishwasher if we are right there,    Came down  this mornign to the dishes from the nine o clock dinner he made himself.  Hand wash only pan , dishwasher ready for dirty dishes and three glasses and a mug in the sink, all his.  Dad placed in dishwasher and washed the pan, then finished the laundry.  Ugh.  

Another day another sigh

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So SS came up and needed a trash bag.  I was at the sink filing up something.   Since I was feeling snippy and frankly this kid hasn't talked to me for a couple of days I told him he could wait till I was done since I was almost finished anyway.   It took less than a second for me to finish and then he could get his trash bag.   Oh yes, we've also started laundry of which I am sure dad will finish when he gets home since it is almost time for SS to be in bed taking his late afternoon nap.   But hey on the good, he's gone to the gym .

 

 

now the rule breaking

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well we'll see.  Since it was a safety issue I mentioned it to dad.   SS has a driver's license that only allows him to have one friend in the car with him.  He can have multiple family members but only one friend unless they have been licensed for 3 years and are over 21.  Neither of his friends met that criteria.    So I mentioned something to his dad.  He had told his dad that he can have two friends in the car.  If he gets pulled over it will extend his probation license for 30 days.  Not a major offense but what else is he doing? 

 

Dad clues in

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It was a interesting weekend.    Dad and I stirred things up and instead of lunch we went out for dinner Sunday.  Lo and behold his son calls, wondering where dad was.  Mind you this was after not seeing him most of the day even though his dad was home all day .  His son of course was hungry and wanted to know what was for dinner.  Dad replied there's plenty of food in the house , make something for yourself.  Then he hangs up and looks at me and tells me his son asks everyday what's for dinner, then he adds like he's going to eat it.  He also mentioned talking it over with his son's counse

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Disengaged and going on

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Well today is SS birthday.  I haven't seen him yet but his laundry got done.  His dad of course finished the laundry for him.  He started it yesterday evening and went to bed with the second load in the washer.   When his dad and I got up this morning the wet laundry was sitting in the washing machine and the dryer was full of the first load.   I walked past, he could've done it, today he is 17.   His dad walked past , turned around and started the dryer to fluff his son's clothes,  then he proceded to fold them after placing the other load in the dryer.   Soon son called up "Dad are my clo

Counting on

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Well this morning we're in a mood.  SS has been stomping around for about a hour.   He just stormed past me to go out to his car , slammed the door, of course.  My DH just made a comment last night about how my kids pull open their doors and slam doors.   Funny he wasn't here this morning to hear his son slam the front door hard enough to shake the whole house.   Then about a half hour later SS stomps up the stairs, bangs around the kitchen and goes back downstairs.    A whole week of school, backpack where it was placed on Friday evening.   Should be a interesting week. 

Update to disengaged and practicing the pause

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Well its been a couple of days.   So far SS is back in school, he even hung out with a friend tonight until about 5:00ish.  Nice.   He is currently downstairs alseep of course, it's about 6:45 PM here .  Since Sunday I've said "good morning" to him twice, haven't had acknowledgement on SS part .  When he entered the house this evening I told him Hello.  No acknowledgement.

Disengaged and practicing the pause

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Well I've done a lot of thinking since the OMG.  Up until the incident that started this journey I had been disengaged.  I made what would get eaten and was easy on the budget.   I made sure there was SS food in the house but didn't go out of my way to get special food.   My bio-kids like Macaroni and Cheese for lunch at times so its usually in the house.  I let his dad buy anything else his son would eat and life was what is was.  I was also practicing what was known at the pause.

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The Counselor

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This warrents a new blog post.   SS has been in counseling for two years now.  The first counselor he saw when he decided he wanted to be homeschooled last year and decided he wasn't going to do work anymore.  That counselor was a piece of work.   He basically took this manipulative kid at face value and informed his father that I was passive/agressive and how dare he let me treat hsi son like this.  He also went on to tell DH that he was a horrible father , all his son wanted to do was be a chief and here he was not letting his son cook.  DH informed the counselor that we have a grocery li

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