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Kicked out, new place and still be enabled, oh my

Sam2's picture

Well SS got caught with a cat in his place and landlord threatened to kick him out.   BM advised him to get out before he got kicked out so he moved back in with us for about a month with said cat.   It went really well for awhile until I made a comment about a new car being a better investment than a used car , the new car in question was the same make and model as DD new car.  SS said that he wanted his sister to have a good car in a snide sort of way. I incrediously commented as opposed a new car . I truly felt he was putting down my daughter's car and that the one he found used was superior to hers.  Needless to say he stormed out, DH asked me why I iput him down and I looked at him and said I wasn't putting him down but that it was apparently ok for him to insult our decision in cars.  Oh well. Needless to say I did not handle the aftermath well and said he needed to leave.  He got a place to the tune of 1200.00 a month but there are three of them.  SS does have a job but only part time so far but mommy is helping him.

In an effort to be nice and make conversation when I saw him today I asked how the move in was going .  He said fine.  I asked about utilties and he said his mom was helping them.   Needless to say I'm of the impression that if you can't afford a place on your own maybe you shouldn't be on your own.  What happens if mommy dearest can no longer bail you out.  There will eventually be four of them in this place so rent will be relatively reasonable but what will happen when mommy can no longer pay for them.  Since they're all pretty young I coud see some or all of the friends moving out and moving on their own.   

I guress he I should be happy he is out on his own.   However, we can't help with rent and I will have to put down my foot if it comes to that. Birth mommy does have a diagnosis of lupus and has good days and bad days so her working days may be limited.  She did have to file bankruptcy three years ago as she wasn't working and had no money.   If the money from her ends I don't think he's working enough to cover his expenses and unlike a utilities included apartment, a house , especailly a four bedroom house with four teenage boys using water, electricity and heating and cooling the place coud get a bit pricy and a job earning 58 dollars a day for three days a week is not going to cover the expenses.  

Ugh love my husband but these stepkids just don't seem to be growing up.   The 23 year old sister who spent three years living on her own in Japan while attending college , then dropped out of said college. Isnt' working at mommy's work as planned, it still living at home working as a stocker but is earnign enough to make payments on a used car, yes they went with the used car,  She is going to school to be EMT but did drop out of the program in Japen one year short of completing it.  

Oh well.  Like DH said , his stepkids have it together , his kids apparently will need help.  At some point they grow up right and we don't have to support them all theirl lives. 



caninelover's picture

Your initial comment about a new car being a better investment does sound like a put down.  SS should have handled it better but that comment was unnecessary.

Similarly, if you asked SS to leave then who cares about his utilities or who/how they are paid?  Let SS deal with it and probably best for you to not comment.  

missgingersnap2021's picture

Such is the tilde of a stepmom- God forbid we have thoughts , opinions or ideas... we can say the same things to and about neighbors, coworkers, friends and/or other family members but god forbid it's towards or about a skid!!!

caninelover's picture

It was a put down whether it was said to SK, Neighbor, Co-worker, or whoever.  She shouldn't say it to anyone.  

Tried out's picture

gets me peace of mind. I know it's unlikely that it will stop working and if it does it's under warranty. And I get a free rental if something does happen. I've actually had only a couple new cars in my life and I do appreciate the difference. 

tog redux's picture

Not always - cars hold their value longer than they used to in many cases. It's hard to find good deals on slightly used cars. Either way, seems like a silly thing to have a blow out over. 

tog redux's picture

Be glad he's out, and let DH know that you do not agree with any joint money going to support the kids. And any of his money used to support SS has to be after everything you two need is funded, including retirement, vacations, etc. 


Otherwise, who cares if they never grow up. Not your problem.