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Have you ever sat back

sam's picture

and took a good long look at your own biochild and felt that the way you have raised them with your heart and sole and no guilt parenting or pas and then looked at your skids and noticed a big difference.I have been doing that for the past few days and feel bad for my skids that they were born to such a wack job mother.I turn around and think about my own bs and thank god i didnt do something like this to my own child.My bs lives with his dad 2000miles away hardest thing i have ever done but i did not keep them from having a relationship.I get along with my ex very well and my son sees this and it shows in his behaviour.My ex was laid off and he is having a tough time financially and i have spoke to him and bs and told them both that he can come back any time if things get to hard.My ex wants him there with him and my bs tells me he doesnt care about having money to do things as long as he gets to spend time with his dad.So i have sent some money here and there for them to go see a movie or what not and my son is so thankful.What im trying to get at is the difference between a child that is caught up with pas and a child who is not.I am not bragging but i am proud of the ways i have taught my son to be passionate and caring about other people and it shows in him and he is a teenager.I really feel sad for these kids who go through this crap and it breaks my heart.My son wanted to start living with his dad every other year and in the beginning it was hard to let him go as i have never been without him but it has turned out to be a good thing as he has the best of both worlds with no bickering and calling names.So i made the right decision to let this happen after months of going over it in my head before he left mind you i was a wreck but i put my childs needs before my own and i am proud i did not turn out like my skids bm.

Comments

secondwife20's picture

you're not a crazy bitch.

It must have been hard to let your son go, but how nice it must be to know that he is happy with his father.

sarahbernheart's picture

the right thing is never easy.
I would have done the same thing for my son sam.
and you have every right to be proud of yourself and your son.
My son's dad could be a real jerk to our son's but I never bad mouthed him to them, I told them you can not change your father, only how you let him affect you.
sacrificing ourselves hurts like hell but when you see positive things happening the pain is lessened.
good job sam.
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

secondwife20's picture

you were my BM Smile It would make life for me so much easier... and Blabb probably wouldn't be so awful!

sarahbernheart's picture

live SW19 said so eloquently
you aint whacked.
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

sam's picture

very hard to let my son go i didnt eat or sleep for months but that all subsided after a few years of him leaving and coming home and i knew he was ok.Now i know in my heart it was the hardest thing i ever did but the best thing for my sons sake.

stepmom2one's picture

I know that it is soo hard to do the right thing sometimes. I think about what I will do if my and H have to split becuz of SD. I tell myself that if I leave him becuz of SD hurting my children then I will have to keep the kids from my H as much as possible. Just to ensure their saftey.

But if things just don't work out becuz of my H, BM or SD just simply driving me crazy I would be as fair as possible. And then I think how can I go without my children even for a weekend?

I give you props I am sure this was and is hard for you sometimes. But I am sure you made the right decision for you, keeping your son in mind.

Most Evil's picture

I really wish we could have had SD live with us every other year like that. I think that is fair to everyone. I just told DH that and he said, well yes, but it would not have worked for our BM financially. So sad it comes down to that for her!!

Sam that is a really generous thing you did and I am sure your son appreciates it, as does his dad-!!!!

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

sam's picture

i was going to go in march on the march break holiday they get a week off.It all depends on where you fly and what time of the year it is but we live in canada and its more expensive to fly here to another province then it is to fly into the united states.