Why do I always let myself get hurt?
SD has pretty much said she is definitely moving back with BM and I am hurt. I knew from the second I was told (not asked) that she was moving up here that this would happen. Now BM says she'll make sure SD does well in school even though she used her 40 hour/ week job as an excuse for SD failing before when she BEGGED DH to take her. DH also uses the same work excuse and we have 2 under 2 so it's wrong to make me deal with a possibly mentally ill teenager.
I knew it would be secretive and sudden as it is now. I knew SD would say it's ADHD while refusing therapy and DH saying she's using it as an excuse and it started with BM because BM is bipolar. I spent so much time, money, and effort making her room perfect and DH bought her a $1500 gaming computer that she's now taking to BM's.
I've tried disengaging but my husband is hands off and BM is crazy so I feel SD needs all the support she can get. But she will always be loyal to BM and use DH as her emotional punching bag. I had a short talk with SD to confirm the move and told her this is permanent and she can't try to get CPS called on BM (again) and has to obey the rules even though BM breaks promises and doesn't like her friends.
SD had said last year when we moved that she wanted to live with us for college which is 2 years away if she graduates on time. I posted about that briefly earlier this week and someone said *maybe* community college if she graduates. I honestly don't think much changing will be done and I'm sure it'll probably stunt SD's growth going back. She and BM fight like cats and dogs and almost always get in yelling matches over simple disagreements. I can't have a barely functional adult in my home if she tries to come back.. I don't think she'll ever become un-enmeshed with BM.