Soooooooooo tired and irritated.......and I know I shouldn't be.
So tomorrow's the Halloween parties at the skids' school. I am head room mom for SD10 only AFTER giving BM the opportunity to do it if she wanted to - she didn't. So, I have been running around like a crazy person getting everything I need, speaking with the other parents, and coming up with some creative games to play at the party, etc..........
So, I find out this morning that BM is coming to the party. Great. She's not donating anything, she's not helping plan anything with me, she's not dressing up - She's just gonna show up and the skids will be so thrilled to see her that I will AGAIN fade into the background. I know it sounds so petty and they're just little girls who love their mom and their mom has never come to a party before, so let's all be ECSTATIC!!!!!!!!! It just makes me mad. She doesn't DO anything except show up and she's the greatest mommy ever!!!
I'm just so frustrated with it all. Is it all worth it? Will my wonderful skids remember everything I've done for/with them? I will admit - I do most of these things because I LIKE to. But, sometimes I do things because BM doesn't and I just want the skids to know that they can count on me.
Who am I kidding? I'm being selfish. I want some recognition for my hard work. I want the skids to NOT ignore me at the party when their BM shows up and believe me, they don't ignore me in a mean way, they just know BM doesn't like me and their loyalty keeps them by her side. They don't want BM to get mad at them or for her to feel left out even for one minute. And I guess the skids figure I can handle it since I'm so DAMN NICE all the time.
Oh well, the party is only 45 minutes long and I'll handle it with all the dignity and grace I can muster and then I'll go on home and fix a couple drinks and RELAX on my no-skid weekend.
(although I'm a little bummed we're not trick-or-treating with the skids this year.)
I LOVE BEING A STEP MOM!
I HATE BEING A STEP MOM!
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This reminds me of that part
This reminds me of that part in the movie "Stepmom" where Julia asks BM if she can purchase Pearl Jam tickets for her daughter, BM tells her no, that it's a school night and something along the lines of it being a ridiculous request...then BM turns around and buys the tickets herself so she can take her daughter, and plays it off like it was her idea.
I don't really think there is a solution to this, or to many delimas SM's face, the only thing I can think of to get thru these times is to take them one at a time and as they come. It really sucks that it's worked out this way, but what canyado? You'll get thru this, maybe not with the acknowledgment that you would have liked, but it will soon be over with and you can relax and have a nice quiet weekend without all of the pressure.
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“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”
I love that movie. I have
I love that movie. I have had many of those moments like the Pearl Jam moment. Ironically SS also loves that movie and he is the one who does not want me as a Stepmom and has done everything he can along with BM's help to try to keep me out of his life.
Are parents allowed to
Are parents allowed to attend a party at the school? Is that normal and am I that out of touch? I don't remember adults/parents at our school Halloween parties when I was younger.
And just in case the skids don't thank you...let me say thank you. On behalf of all of the other kids in the class (mine will be there in a few years), THANK YOU for putting in your time and effort to make ALL of the kids' Halloween memorable!
You know what NMF, that's
You know what NMF, that's right.......Thank you Fifth, I can't volunteer my time b/c of my job to my kids classroom like I would like, but thank you for being one of those parents who can!
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“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”
Yes, parents can attend all
Yes, parents can attend all parties. And I just really wanted to get to know the kids' friends, the teachers, and their friends' parents. It's a good way for me to be involved and I won't feel like such an outsider when I go there for functions anymore. I do have a flexible job, luckily, and I knew BM didn't and that's one of the reasons I volunteer. But, if BM comes to the party, that will be the second day of work she's missed this week and just last weekend she was boo-hooing about not having any money to buy the skids' costumes and so my future MIL went out and bought them.
**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**
Isn't it ridiculous that
Isn't it ridiculous that it's always the people who take tons of time off of work for non-emergency events that are always complaining that they don't have money? Then they cry to the ex-hubbies for more money, more money. UGH! GO TO WORK!
Do you know what? I bet the
Do you know what? I bet the other moms you've been organising this party with will notice and appreciate everything you've done too. One day the skids will notice and appreciate you too I hope, but they'll always love their BM first unfortunately.
I think you're great for
I think you're great for everything you do. The skids will eventually realize what you do for them. Storm76 is right, they will always love their mom, even if she's a lazy and useless. You are the better better so just smile sweetly and bask in the fact that you are a doer and she is a lazy butt!!!!!
I know your feeling, in my
I know your feeling, in my case BM can be a total screaming witch to the kids, do absolutly nothing for them and she gets all the adoration and respect. I know there were times I took off work which is not easy for me to do with my employer to be at my SS's entire karate tournament and BM shows up 15 minutes before the end, misses her sons matches and still gets all the glory for being there...she even acted like she saw his match and none of us had the heart to tell him she was lying to him. She gets thank yous hugs and kisses and I get diddly squat, attitude and disrespect. I sucks. I have even helped the kids with school projects and the teachers have told mom what a great job she did, and she has taken the credit right in front of my face and to avoid a scene I let her take the credit...At least the kids knew then that she was lying, wish the teachers knew too.