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BM Took Kids But Wants To Return Them For Weekend

Rumplestiltskin's picture

So BM got the ex parte emergency custody order on the grounds that she alleges SO's house is too dangerous. But.....get this - she wants SO to have them every other weekend starting tomorrow. And the judge granted it!

If his house is so dangerous that she needs emergency custody, how can she say that he has to keep them for the weekend?! Plus, she knows that this is SO's weekend to work. Now he is trying to get his dad to stay over to watch them from Friday night to Sunday night. If he can't, guess who is the only one available. Yep, me.

She brought all kinds of dirt into the petition, too. Even things about one of SO's daughters from the other BM. Someone in the family is clearly feeding her information. I don't trust any of them. 

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Rumplestiltskin's picture

Oh, and another bizarre thing. SO called the 10-year-old's school today to see if BM checked him out. She didn't, but she showed up to give a gift of bottled water to the entire office staff. She has never done anything like that before or given a rat's ass about anything involving school. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

You mean that if your SO's dad isn't available that means BM keeps the kids, right?

Don't get trapped in this, Rumple.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Your DH is now the non-custodial parent and should refuse to watch the kids. As the non-custodial parent, he does not have to take them. He needs to stand up for himself and refuse to take them.

You should not watch those kids. Since the home is considered "unsafe" by the court, do you want the responsibility if something happens to one of the kids?

This whole situation does not make any sense. Your DH needs to get a good lawyer.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

So SO's dad is coming to stay with them. I agree with those who say i should refuse, for many reasons. The biggest being i have my daughter and i'm not going to either leave her alone or force her to sleep on their couch. Also, if the home is considered dangerous, i would be opening myself up for trouble.

SO would never refuse visitation, but i wish he would. This BM is a 42-year-old "party girl", and i would love for her to have to cancel her weekend plans or find a sitter at the last minute.

Supposedly, if she gets full custody with him having EOWE, she is entitled to almost 3k a month in child support. She was getting around $1k before, with SO also paying for all medical and daycare (or just providing her daycare himself), and she had one child 50/50 (for the past few months, almost zero before that)  and the other zero. This is nothing but a huge money grab. She showed no interest in those kids for years except to show off at parties, as long as she was getting the  money and had no responsibility. This all started when he finally tried to stop paying her and hold her to a schedule. 

strugglingSM's picture

This sounds like the exact kind of crap the BM in my life would pull. She cried to all who would listen for almost a year that it was "traumatic" for SSs to come to our home and one SS needed his time reduced because he was so upset. Then they got to the mediation and really, it was all about increasing her child support. Then less than two months after the new schedule where DH agreed to give up 18 hours of 48 hours EOWE with one SS, BM said SS was now "fine" resuming the normal schedule and no longer needed counseling. She also complained that DH was not spending enough time with this SS after literally screaming that he was in "crisis" because DH was so terrible. These women are all the same, they will do anything to get more money, even if it means using their children as pawns. 

For all the people who say non-custodial parents can refuse visitation, do you have any legal resources on that? I'm asking because BM always threatens to take DH to court if he wants to give up a weekend. She always tells him he's "obligated" to take his weekends. She views them as her opportunity to have a break from the kids.

justmakingthebest's picture

This is 100% a money grab. 

I disagree with those who said to decline the weekend. I feel like that could get turned around as their father doesn't care and doesn't even want them in court. In his shoes, I would be purchasing cameras for all over the house to protect myself. I think those cameras in our home are the only reason that accusations of DH and I being dangerous drunks have stopped 100%. There can't be lies when there is proof in video footage. 

Winterglow's picture

I'm inclined to agree - the fact that she wants to give them back almost as soon as she got them is a pretty good indication that her accusations are unfounded and that she was lying about your home being too dangerous. So, I would take them - even if just to have proof that she's a liar (I'm assuming there's no written proof that she asked him to take them).

SteppedOut's picture

This... but op isn't married to or even lives with her SO. So definately on her SO, but op should decline to be involved.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

It's sort of a weird situation. We don't live together but we are neighbors (less than a block away.) To me, it has the benefits of living together except the financial, but i can also escape the drama of his place. Often, though, i end up helping him. He needs so much.

The kids went to BM's last night to comply with the ex parte ruling to protect their safety, and BM will return them this evening so she can have her weekend free. Never mind that in her petition for the ex parte, she feared for their lives if they were left for one more second with him. I feel like i'm living in Bizarro World.