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O/T - need advice on ExH and his son

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I need some feedback and I know you guys are not shy!

Background: My 3 bio-kids are all from my first marriage. My first husband left when the my DD was 15 months old. I started dating a man who would become my second DH when she was just 18 months. They are very attached to each other, she even calls him Daddy.

BM lost it last night

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I have no idea where to get this out so here goes....

Last night DH went to pick up SD8, she threw a fit and did not want to go. His ex amped up the drama, encouraged the kids behavior and even pushed him up against a wall. She has been out of control in the past, but this was by far the worst.

When he finally got her in the car, what did he do? Took her straight to her gymanstics class. I was in shock - let's go ahead and reward shitty conduct. Awesome job.

Thats what happens when you complain

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I posted last week about my SD not eating dinner because the burgers I made weren't "gourmet" enough for her. So last night (visit night) I cooked for my kids, cleaned up the kitchen and was watching TV when FDH and SD came in from gymnastics. He asked if there was dinner and I said 'nope'.

He looked at me funny but did not push it. She had a yogurt, then showered and went to bed. I was at the gym when they left this am so I saw SD for a grand total of 5 minutes on this week's visit.

Score one for stepmom!

Isn't Hambuger "meat"? Not to SD I suppose

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We have SD on Tuesday nights. FDH takes her to gymnastics from 7p-8p on Tuesdays, back to our house afterwards. BM does not work (shock) and sometimes feeds SD before we pick her up and sometimes she doesn't. We never know if she is going to need dinner or not.

She is a super picky eater - if you ask her what she wants to eat she will tell you 'meat'. Forget vegetables and salads. So, I decided to be safe last night and made hamburgers - meat, smart of me, right? Nope...

Out of the mouth of Bio-Mom

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Soooo, BM calls FDH this wekeend to give him and update on their SD8's therapy session.

Here we go:

She doesn't think it is necessary for their child to see a therapist and she is not going to participate any longer.

She thinks the therapist is making too big of a deal out of the fact that SD hits, pinches and kicks my DD.

She is NOT going to change her parenting style and doesn't think he should either (from how it was before he met me).

This is the best one.......

Completely O/T...what type of wedding did you and DH have?

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Please don't tell me not to do it! I am already madly in love and he keeps his kid on a short leash.

So...we cannot decide how/where or what type of wedding that we want. We are not arguing aboutit, it's just that nothing appeals to both of us.

Destination wedding is out, my parents are too old to travel and I want them there if it is going to include the kids. I want to elope but FDH doesn't want to. SD8 thinks she is going to be a flower girl - umm, no.

Update to request for help with my kid's SM

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I took everyone's advice to heart and reached out to my ExH. I called twice (he did not answer) and have sent an email, with pictures attached, very nicely asking for their version of what happened.

Nothing, no response, virtual tumbleweeds for a response.

My kids have all asked not to go to his house this weekend and told them they are alwasy welcome at home but they have to own their relationship with their dad and they have to communicate their wishes to him directly. The older 2 sent him texts last night telling him they want to stay home this weekend.

Need help with my kid's SM -

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Hey ST family - I really need some help.

My relationship with my ex is contentious, we really do not ever talk, only communicating via email when necessary. He does not exercise all his parenting time so the kids are with me and FDH most of the time. As a reminder I have three bio kids, S16, D14, D8. ExH also has twin 2 year old boys with new wife.

He and his wife had the kids last weekend for Labor Day and I got a call from my D14 to come get them right away on Monday morning (not supposed to come home until 6pm)

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