We have not been getting along very well lately but we try to keep it civil in front of the kids. Well..except for last night.

I am what I consider to be partially disengaged. I dont do much with or for SD8. DH takes her to school, picks her up, takes her to dance class, does her laundry and we have cleaning lady that takes care of the house and changes the sheets on the bed.

I cook for the entire family and she will usually eat what I make. If she refuses, she goes without, that rule was set very early on. It is applied equally to allthe kids in the house.

Last night I had stuff to do so I pulled grilled chicken out of the fridge left from the night before and some other stuff and told everyone they were on their own. DH and Princess were shocked because usually there is a full meal ready when they get home but (wisely) they did not say anything.

ANYWAY, since Dh and I were already tense with each other when i went upstairs to put DD9 to bed I checked to make sure the bathroom was tidy. There was some greasy residue in SD's sink and water everywhere. I made Dh and her come in there and she cleaned up the water but would never give me a straight answer about what was in the sink. I also did not let it go - I wanted to know what the fuck she had gotten everywhere.

Finally she ROLLED her eyes and me and started to walk off. I looked at her and said - Don't you EVER roll your eyes at me again. You can treat your parents however they allow you to treat them but that is unacceptable behavior in this house with me. Are we clear?

She acknowledged it and went to her room. All hell broke loose after we got the girls to bed.

I was 'too hard' on SD, she did not know what she had gotten everywhere (WTF), why did I grill her so hard, blah blah blah.

I lost it and went off about how he and his ex are raising her, they should be embarassed at how she behaves, looks and treats people. I even went so far as to point out that his 8 year old needs a bra she has gotten so fat. He denied that she has a weight problem - I asked him when he and BM were going to worry about it, possibly when she hit 200 lbs?

To say the least, all this did not go over too well and it went downhill from there.

Like my tag line says - what the hell have I gotten myself into? I miss my own house, my own routine and living my life on my terms.