The birthday dinner is over...
The day did not start off well, as I've come down with some type of cold. So I wasn't in a great mood, but I sucked it up. We went to a seafood restaurant for SD8's birthday. As I mentioned in previous blogs, this is BioDad's week with SD8 and SD8 was even confused about why we were having this joint dinner together. Of course I did not want to go, but I agreed to it and I kept my word.
Anyway, we get there and the MachineMan family is already there. I took a seat at the far end of the table, and BS3 was between DW and I. Hellos are exchanged. That is about it. Then, guess what? The extended family of MachineMan shows up. (I did not know they would be coming).
So now, it is BioDad, GF, GF's daughter, BioDad's mother, BioDad's brother and his wife. And me, DW and BS3. Terrific. I'm sitting down to a family dinner with MachineMan's entire freaking family.
I mostly kept to myself. I was annoyed by a couple of things but managed to keep my mouth shut:
1) MachineMan insisting on taking pictures of my BS3. This was SD8's birthday, take pictures of her. You have no reason to be taking pictures of my child. Petty, maybe. But it annoyed me.
2) DW going around the table asking BS3 "Who is that? Who is that?" Of course he doesn't know. Then DW says "That's Grandma so-and-so. That is Uncle XXXX. That is..." you get the picture. This is infuriating to me. There is no reason BS3 needs to know anything other than what to call these people: Mr. or Mrs. XXXXX. Really he shouldn't even be at dinner with them! How confusing for him. But to make matters worse for DW to refer to them as "Grandma" and "Uncle" - for eff's sake. They are not related to BS3! They are not part of YOUR family, DW! Way to confuse the kid even more. I was fuming mad. I gave DW a look after the third one... and she got the hint. Started say "That's Mr. XXX, and that is Mrs. YYYY" etc. Still, am I wrong for thinking this was ridiculous? I swear it seems like sometimes DW wants to be a part of that family still.
3) The conversation at dinner. These are grown-ass adults, and the ONLY things they talked about were video games and comic books. MachineMan asked me what video games or movies BS3 likes... I just told him we didn't really allow BS3 to play video games, and he doesn't really want to watch whole movies. He was shocked. Said at that age he could barely keep SD8 away from the TV or video games. (Well, no shit. It's because I actually parent and restrict my child from doing those things 24/7).
Anyway, as promised to DW, I was not rude or sullen. I just sat there, responded when spoken to, ate my dinner and dealt with BS3. Thankfully it was only 1.5 hours of my life spent with that crew. The funny thing is, I could tell that BioDad's GF was not in a particularly great mood either - she barely said 1 word all night that wasn't to her daughter. I wonder if it had something to do with the fact that BioDad has this pathological need to do things jointly with DW?
So, afterwards when we are driving home, this conversation happens:
DW: "So, was that really so terrible?"
Me: "Uh, yes, yes it was."
DW: "Are you serious? You had a TERRIBLE time?"
Me: "Yes, I'm serious. I just had to spend an hour and a half at a family dinner with your ex-husband and his extended family! That is not my idea of a good time. This is not something I would have ever wanted to do."
DW: "Well you'll never have to again."
I'm silent because I just don't want to have this argument again and I do not know that I can believe that last comment from DW.
DW: "Well thank you for sucking it up and coming to the dinner."
Me: "You're welcome." (I should have stopped talking but I sensed she wanted me to say something else to her, or else she wanted to say something else to me.) "I just don't want to have to do that again."
DW: "Again, thank you for sucking it up and coming to the dinner."
Me: "You're welcome. What else do you want me to say? I feel like you want me to tell you it wasn't bad or you want to say something else to me."
DW: (Huffs and rolls eyes).
That was the end of the conversation. I am just still amazed at why she thinks that it is perfectly normal to spend time with her Ex and family - even on SD8's birthday. And why she just cannot seem to see how incredible uncomfortable that is for me. Hopefully it is over now.... but I doubt it.
At this point I wouldn't be surprised if BioDad invited DW to his wedding to the GF. And then have DW agree to go!