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How many of you ended up disengaging from your spouse?

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Submitted by Redredwine on Thu, 04/23/2015 - 5:02pm

My skids aren't bad kids. For being over-protected and having two parents who seem to still hold a grudge against each other, and for being teens, they really are only at the frustration level you'd feel of any kid their ages. So, while they do drive me nuts sometimes, it's just them being regular kids (like my kid).

Where the frustration for me lies is with DH and BM. Either everything is a disagreement or to "make it work" it has to be air-tight with no wiggle room (mostly for BM).

O/T Cute thing overheard at a store (and why I wish my kid was still little)

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Submitted by Redredwine on Thu, 04/16/2015 - 2:09pm

I waiting in line at a store and in front of a woman and her 4/5 year old son. They were right near the sunglasses and he was trying them on. She must have explained how some of them work differently than others (and have a weird distortion with inside light).

He tried on another pair and told her excitedly: "Mom, these ones are paralyzed, too!"
Mom quietly responded: "The word is 'polarized,' honey."

Beginnings of a Mommy/Daddy vs Parent theory

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Submitted by Redredwine on Wed, 04/15/2015 - 7:22am

ExH and I stick to the schedule, even if one of us has to travel. The traveler has to find a way to take care of the kids. If that way ends up being the other parent, fine. But there are no swapping of days. If we don't see the kid for a week because of travel or vacation or such, so be it.

DH and BM regularly worry about "time with the skids" and swapping schedules and BM makes sure she's never short on days. Both of them have professed how hard it is to go without the skids for more than their regular duration.

Place your bets...does DH ask for my help and if so, when/how?

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Submitted by Redredwine on Tue, 04/14/2015 - 5:26pm

DH has to leave the house very, very early tomorrow morning, before school starts. He has known about this for at least two weeks. He hasn't said anything about my help in herding the skids in the morning. And my kid is not around, so I can leave at any time.

Your choices (unless you have an even more accurate one):

A. DH calls me soon and is very contrite knowing he didn't ask ahead of time and falling over himself to apologize and ask for my help.

B. DH remembers right before going to sleep and "reminds me" he's going to be gone early.

I think DH "ran out" of parenting

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Submitted by Redredwine on Mon, 04/13/2015 - 2:25pm

So after Saturday's small breakthrough (http://www.steptalk.org/node/214789), it appears that DH ran out of parenting.

One of the skids did nothing Friday night and nothing all day Saturday. Hung out in his room the entire time except for meals. Sunday morning he tells DH he has lots of homework. (My personal opinion is that he tried to game the system knowing that DH wouldn't enforce homework on Friday, and when it was clear DH was going to do a long thing with the other skid Saturday, he was home-free and could do nothing.)

Trying to practice LadyFace's advice. I don't think I know how!

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Submitted by Redredwine on Thu, 04/09/2015 - 2:56pm

So, LadyFace recommended I say something to DH (and any other person involved in the conversation interruption) at the exact point it happens but in a sickly-sweet, vomit-inducing voice. Wording along the lines of pointing out the interruption and excusing myself.

I practiced in the car yesterday a bit. I don't think I have the gene that allows it to come out without being sarcastic or snide.

Please help with some recommended "acting methods" so I can get the tone right.

Is there an epidemic? DH rudely ignored me

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Submitted by Redredwine on Tue, 04/07/2015 - 8:39pm

But skid did not.

DH and I had just started a conversation and I asked him a question as skid walked up. Skid asked for DH to quiz him with homework later...meaning when we were done. DH asked skid what it was. Fine. I'll wait. Then DH asked skid a few questions. Fine, maybe he's seeing if skid needs to study more. I'll wait.

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