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Don't think DH can handle more than one wife at a time

Redredwine's picture

(Rant on)
He sets up stuff with BM. It doesn't go into the calendar app until: he says something about a plan, I am surprised, he gets defensive that he told me/it's in the calendar, I point out its not, and neither are the other bunch of things he mentioned that I didn't know. Not that I have anything I have to do, but it's helpful to plan around for me and BS.

He doesn't tell me the whole thing or I get "I told you" or told about something that already happened and when I ask a question or say something in a way the means I didn't know about it he gets upset and defensive. Like when our neighbors went to one of the skids games. He's talking about it afterward and all I said was that I didn't realize they had gone. He got all defensive that he didn't have time to tell me as it was last minute. All I said was "oh" and he came back with it was the night before (so last minute) and he didn't have time to mention it. Here's where I then didn't let it go: we sat in bed reading and talking for at least an hour. I pointed out he could have told me but that wasn't my message. I was just mildly surprise they went as he usually says something and that is ALL that I meant. He took it wrong and was the one who started on the "no time" and "knew you were busy" (as if I always go when they go).

Uh, with all things you coordinated with BM for things that affect me in large and small ways, but didn't talk to me. You didn't tell me. Or you tell me and when I start asking questions either back up to say you're asking or get all uppity that I'm asking clarifying questions (cause he always swaps words...like one place or persons name for another and it gets confusing).

The latest is that he told me BM was picking up one of the skids from the house today and I asked when (cause I wanna be gone), he says he told me via text. Go to text, show him he didn't give a timeframe. Plus I see a note from him to skid on the counter as I leave. Whatever. When I got home I noticed the skid had circled a spot where DH told the skid *I* would mark if I had fed the dog. Skid wrote a side note letting me know he fed the dog. But WTF DH? If I'm supposed to be reading a note why don't you tell me or add my name at the top?

You want me to know what's going on? You gotta tell me. Sheesh.

And he's a "nice guy" so when I'm pissed about this he's gonna get defensive and either make it out how he did do stuff or fall all over himself with an apology but no changes.

Based on many things I'm thinking he has adult ADD (though he's successful in his job managing large projects).

(Rant off)

Comments

Redredwine's picture

And yet that's his JOB. He's a project manager for multi million dollar, complicated, multi vendor projects. Scheduling, coordinating, getting consensus.

Redredwine's picture

I do that with both my DH and ExH. Funny, ExH even requests it now after knowing each other for 18 years.

It's actually my DH who doesn't tell me stuff, or the whole stuff. Then gets pissy when I ask questions about the vague info. What I have done is schedule things just based on what I know (or don't know) but then if it conflicts he's upset that I'm not maiming an effort to do thing with/accommodate the skids or him. Ugh! I point it out. But it keeps happening.