I have shared in the past about dear friends of ours that have adopted two boys from sexually abusive homes.  Their first son they adopted when he was 8 and their younger son was adopted at 6yo a year later.

For this past year + their eldest has been in a state school for sexually abused/aggressive juveniles.  He was molesting kid’s on the bus, at school, etc.....

The plan with CPS was that if they had to use their three custody extensions before their son successfully completed the treatment program the custody arrangement would rebalance to 51% CPS/49% them until their son completed the program and could return home.   This week that went up in flames.

Their eldest (13) has to repeat stage three of the program.  He also assaulted a staff member this week biting the staff member and drawing blood.  The police were called, interviewed the kid and witnesses, the kid was arrogant with the police, the staff member pressed charges(and should have IMHO) and the kid was hauled off in cuffs.  His crime is subject to as much as a $4000 fine and 18 months of incarceration.

The worst part is that a state lawyer has pulled the 51/49% Custody option off of the table and now they have one of two choices.  Retain legal custody and relinquish physical custody to CPS and paying a crap ton of $ to the state in CS (~$3600/mo at their income levels), and exposing themselves to the civil liabilities for the molestation and assault behaviors of this kid....... or....... relinquish custody entirely to the state and write the kid off.   They of course do not want to abandon their son but neither do they want to risk their retirement and financial capacity to raise their younger son to the best of their ability.

They have until next Friday to make their decision.

The court also advised them that the eldest can never be in a home with other children so they cannot bring him home regardless.  Apparently this school has been a smorgasbord for this kid rather than a help.  They had no choice on the school.

They are heart broken. 

It looks like they will back out of the adoption agreement and relinquish their son to the state.  They have spend tens of $thousands on therapy, etc.... to help their eldest who refuses to recognize that there is anything wrong with what he is doing.  He expounds on the premise that it feels good so why is it wrong?

This is what he lived from nearly birth to age 7.

My heart breaks for all of them.  They are doing what they have to do to protect themselves, their youngest and to get their eldest the help he needs.  But the whole thing sucks beyond all comprehension.

Sigh.