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Not Step related... When the burning platform never gets extinguished.

Rags's picture

I am heading East to visit my parents for a week or two and to go to my 40th HS reunion after my Opthalmologist appt on the 28th.

Mom has a list of yard crap she wants dad and I to do.


Of course... I will submit to the lawn torture.  Though I will give my mother a load of crap.

It is our thing.  She will get all grin-ey, grumble at me, then dad and I will go have some fun figuring out whatever torture mom has set up for us.  Probably, moving giant rocks (think 400Lbs +), digging up and moving not insubstantial trees, etc.. Mom will then have any number of adjustments she wants made.  Of course, when it is time for lunch, she will pop her head out of the door, all ready to go to lunch, and tell dad and I to get in the car.  Then...s he will giggle at us for being sweaty and stinky.

 I am one to outsource any yard work. So is dad.  Mom, enjoys playing in the dirt.

Hopefully, she will resign herself to no more strenuous yard work after her cardiac ablation a few weeks ago.

I can't wait to see my parents. But, I am not looking forward to the chores. 

Maybe dad and I can be convenienly not at home.....

There is a reason why I live in a condo.  Someone else does the yard work. I don't own the yard.  I don't own exterior bldg maintenance.  




JRI's picture

My DS58 moved back to the area last year.  OSS60 lives in the area, too.  I would love to be a little mouse and hear them talk to each other  "Every time I go over there it's one damn thing after another!". "Why don't they sell that place?'. Lol.  Payback.

grannyd's picture

Hey, JRI,

My only son is both a plumber and a handyman who, unfortunately, lives an hour's drive away. When my DH underwent a triple bypass 8 years ago and our disloyal pump (we live in a rural area) gave up the ghost, the sight of my boy heading downstairs with his work toolbelt strapped around his waist nearly brought me to tears of relief and gratitude.

My beloved stepson was equally supportive and kind, visiting twice (despite a 90 minute, one-way trip) to cut the grass and perform minor repairs. Having these accommodating and caring men in my life and realizing that they’ll be there for me if my DH predeceases me, is a tremendous comfort.

Hon, never feel guilty about making use of sons/step-sons! I just recall the many favours that I’ve done for them over the years and figure that I’ll be 100 years old before the scales balance.


JRI's picture

Granny, I, too, feel tears of gratitude when they kindly and willingly help us.   They even tolerate DH86 supervising and critiquing their work.  

But if the 2 of them worked 24/7 for a year, it still wouldn't balance out what all we did for them.  All is good, I'm just so grateful for their help.

Rags's picture

I was extremely grateful and relieved when my brother took a new role and now lives about 20mins from our parents.

For years, before we headed overseas, I was doing projects at mom and dads regularly. Our home was about 4miles from mom's and dad's.  Not that I miss doing the work, but I do miss being close to mom and dad and being able to help them.

thinkthrice's picture

I don't inflict that on my grown children although my house needs dire attention.  Chef has been focused on the rentals all year long.

grannyd's picture

My dear TT, you are entirely too nice and self-reliant! Once one's children/steps are grown, we oldsters are entitled to a little compensation for the multitude of gifts, the loans (ultimately 'gifts'), the babysitting, the emotional support and so much more that we've provided over the years. In fact, I've come to believe that my children/steps enjoy helping out since they are so willing and enthusiastic!

Harry's picture

Try to do the important stuff.  Pay someone to help.    You mus remember your parents are not going to be around forever..  You want to have happy memories