New Stepmom
Hi everyone, I'm glad I found this website. I'm about to become a stepmom to a 10 month old beautiful boy. The mother lost custody of the baby, because she was unfit, and violated alot of court orders and has harrassed both me and my fiance for over a year. I needed some advice.
I'm a little nervous, I don't want to overstep my boundaries, because he does have a mom. How do you adjust to this incredible change. I know its a blessing I just feel a little overwhelmed and nervous.
I guess it would be easier if I already had a child or had that bonding time with him through birth.
Any advice for me?
- Rachel's blog
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Comments
Just love him
Congrats, all you need to do is love the little guy. Give him your attention, play with him, give him lots of hugs and kisses and you'll have a bond in no time. I think it's easier to bond with a baby than it is to an older child. By the way all parents feel nervous and overwhelmed, welcome.
Welcome
It's good in a way that the boy is so young. At ten months, they are easy. All they need is food, sleep, a clean body, cuddles and laughter. Oh, and a helmet so they don't crack their head on something.
You have an amazing amount of bonding time ahead of you, Breathe and take it one day at a time.
Don't worry if you
love him things will work ..
And as far as over stepping boundaries.. you will be a "full time mom" to him. I am sorry that this woman lost custody but that is her fault.. Not yours.. SO open your heart and let the love for this little boy just fill your heart with happiness...
be happy for him and with him...he is a bonus!!!
as a new person to this site i can tell you it helps alot just to read the other blogs and know that you aren't the only one out there facing the wrath of the biomom! But no matter what horrors you read about and go through when you look into the babies eyes and he smiles at your voice all the terribles will go away fast. i have a bonus son who is now turning eight, he was 4months when i met his bf and the last eight years have been fantastic! it is easier to have a bond and trust with a skid who is an infant when you meet for sure, but you will have a bond with him that no one will take away, and if you are there when he cries, he will always know he can trust you to be there for him which is really all any kid needs. as far as the harassing bm...good luck and get ready you won't believe the tricks and crap they can pull..my advice..keep a written journal not only for court purposes, but for your own peace of mind, a step mom is never recognized in the family court system as relevant but keeping records will come in handy..good luck
Agree, just love him!
When you get them that young, you have such an opportunity! You get to show him for yourself who you really are, not have him fed lies from a bitter ex. So just love, love, love him and enjoy every moment of this time together. Maternal insticts don't come from giving birth, they don't arrive overnight and sometimes they don't come at all, so just love this child and bond with him and be there for him and everything else will fall into place. I'm not suggesting you won't have battles with his mother, because you've already been down that path a time a few times, from the sound of your post. But I firmly believe that whatever we do in the course of our stepparentdom, if we do it out of love for a child, that's all that really matters. And giving birth isn't what makes you a mother... what makes you a mother is changing diapers, staying up nights with a sick child, cleaning up (and wearing!) vomit and other assorted, disgusting bodily fluid. Some women who give birth just are not mothers, and many mothers have never experienced childbirth. You'll do great, you probably already are, so just love that baby and relish every moment.
~ Anne ~