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I've Tried, Really I Have...

queen-B's picture

I never really wanted to know about my FDH's ex, but I've really worked to keep an open mind. His descriptions of her are...let's say...not complimentary. But the kids are in most respects good kids, and pleasant to deal with, so I've kept thinking just how crappy could she really be? But now the oldest skid is flunking one class, and one point away from flunking a second. We had told the skid that we would provide a car and insurance, if skid could get BM to approve a license, if skid kept a 3.25 GPA and held a B in English (the most hated subject). With an F and a D- (in English), clearly skid hasn't earned the car. So what does BM do? She says, "poor little schmoopsiekins, if bad evil daddy won't give you a car, SF and I will buy you a new SUV instead." :jawdrop: WHAT THE F$&K kind of parent does that??!??!? I've tried my level best to think the best of her, regardless of what FDH thinks, because I always try to make my own assessments. I'm so frustrated right now...who teaches a kid that failure will be rewarded?!!??! When I heard that, I just blew.

I try really hard to remember my place (nmk, nmp) but this one just made me blow my lid. This kid is going to have a b9tch of a time getting ahead in life, and this is a good (if lazy, xbox-centric) kid with a good brain and heart, because mommy is irresponsible and can't resist the opportunity to try to make FDH look bad in skid's eyes. I feel really bad for blowing my lid (just to FDH, not the skid), because it's just so upsetting to FDH that he only has 6 days a month to try to teach the skids real values. We're on the same page on parenting, but he's the one with the actual responsibility without the ability to really make a change happen.

I'm seeing the future this woman is trying to lay out for her kid, where lazy is good and failure rewarded, and I want to scream at her and cry for the kid...

Comments

somerg's picture

i wont doubt it if my bm pulls that, my my catch, HER kids HER mistakes with them HER insurance bill HER gas guzzler, on the weekends it's DH'S choice whether or not to let skid drive car to visitation. and HE WONT. is bm doesn't want to teach REAL value's NOW then bm can deal with it when skids i working part time at mcdonalds with a kiddo (harshly put i know)

queen-B's picture

This is what I fear. BM doesn't have an education but has done well (because of family). What skid won't get until it's too late is that the only way that works is if skid lives the rest of skid's life toeing the family line. And, if FDH is even 20% correct in how he describes THAT line, there's no way an entitled, lazy, xbox-playing kid will ever be able to pull it off (being not the favored child, and not being the child groomed to compete in the family sport). This skid will end up miserable having to kowtow to family demands, and have no way to choose a different path because skid won't have the education required to self-support. :O