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have me arrested at yucks

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Thu, 06/27/2013 - 3:26pm

Last night dh was talking about yuck and if she tries to get him arrested for cs. Dh: call me so he can go to yucks and have them arrested him at her house in front if the boys.

Me: I looked at him in shock. Um no that is too much and not cool. The boys don't need to be involved like that.

Dh: they need to see what their mom is doing to their dad.

Me: that is not how you go about it. No I wont call you so you can go to her house.

Dh: on one is going to tell them they wont hear about it.

Me: yes they will find out sooner or later but to put them in the middle of this is wrong.

He left it alone after that. But really? I can't believe he said that. I'm still in disbelief

Comments

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 06/27/2013 - 3:37pm

Is the situation where he isn't paying his support in full? If that's the case, he's going against the CO. Therefore, BM isn't doing this to him. He is doing this to him.

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Thu, 06/27/2013 - 3:41pm

No he is paying part of it. But I agree it is not bm. Geez. So no I'm not going to give him a heads up so he can go to her house.

He lost his job about a month or so ago but that still doesn't mean he should do this in front of the kids.

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Thu, 06/27/2013 - 3:52pm

Yes that is what he said. He is looking at it this way. He paid for 10 years without fail and if yuck has to wait a couple of months for him to get back on track then he sees nothing wrong with her waiting. And if things get to the point that they want to arrested him then he thinks yuck would have something to do with it as he us paying part of it right now.

It doesn't work that way yuck can't just say put him in jail. It has a process and he has to be so far behind first. But with him paying part of it it probably wont get that far before he gets a job.

misSTEP's picture

Submitted by misSTEP on Thu, 06/27/2013 - 3:55pm

As long as he is paying what he can, they usually will not arrest him. Plus, I believe a judge would have to order the arrest first.

myspoonistoobig's picture

Submitted by myspoonistoobig on Thu, 06/27/2013 - 4:02pm

He needs to calm the f*** down and get his shit together.

Which I'm sure he will. People say very stupid things sometimes under emotional distress. I'm sure he'll regret saying it, if he doesn't already.

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Thu, 06/27/2013 - 4:09pm

I know which I did tell dh that if he is paying part of it they wont do anything even if yuck tries to get them to arrest him.

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Thu, 06/27/2013 - 4:23pm

Has he notified the court about his change of income and filed to have it reduced? He needs to thoroughly look at these sites. Then he can get the info he needs to file to have it reduced:

http://www.dfa.arkansas.gov/offices/childSupport/ncp/Pages/jobLoss.aspx

http://www.dfa.arkansas.gov/offices/childSupport/ncp/Pages/default.aspx

http://www.dfa.arkansas.gov/offices/childSupport/Documents/ncpHandbook.pdf

And he needs to contact the local CSE office to get it reduced.

I hope he doesn't do what he wants to in this situation. I don't know if the kids would come to the same conclusion about bm that he has. The opposite may happen.

He needs to notify the court and file to reduce cs ASAP if he hasn't yet. And I mean ASAP to the fullest extent.

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Thu, 06/27/2013 - 4:27pm

I do agree that bm is being harsh and greedy about cs. However I know the skids and they know that dh us doing all he can and their bm is being a pita.

But I do know that bm can't just tell the police to arrested him it has a process and they go through the process unless he doesn't pay at all. As long as he is paying something they wont do anything.

But no I don't think it is a good idea to have him go to BM's and be arrested there.

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Thu, 06/27/2013 - 4:30pm

I'm with you purple, he would be traumatizing his children. Regardless of yuck's behavior, two wrongs don't make a right.

realitycheckmom's picture

Submitted by realitycheckmom on Thu, 06/27/2013 - 4:35pm

The state took my ex to court for CS when DD was three months old. He was told that he would have to pay x amount. He asked the judge to lower it immediately and the judge took 25% off. They calculated the amount based on me working a 40 hour week and making $9 and hour. This was when the economy collapsed completely. Even though I was going back to school and would have no income they still dinged me. OK fine. The judge told ex that he would have his wages garnished and until the garnishment went through he had to pay out of pocket. HE also would be in arrears for the DD's first three months (they took off the money he paid for a crib off his arrears which pissed me off but I agreed to be nice for DD's sake). He paid nothing. He was so far behind because he wouldn't follow the judge's orders that we went to court and I was asked what I wanted to do and I said please do not put mr. idiot in jail, he has a good job now and insurance and some is better than none for DD. Again I was trying to be the nice guy and do the right thing. He never bothered to see DD or do anything for her. He does however call me when he wants me to drop support or let him pay less. He pays a pittance now. He can kiss my dogs butt.

The point is if yuck wanted to be nice she could ask the judge to not put DH in jail because something is better than nothing. Smile

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Thu, 06/27/2013 - 4:44pm

I can see his point too however putting your kids through that is not worth making that point. To me anyway.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Fri, 06/28/2013 - 6:09am

Has your DH filed to have the CS ammended? If not, he needs to. Until he does, of course what's unpaid will collect in arrears & a judge will order him to pay it.

No, she can't just call the police & tell them to arrest him. Well...she can, but they won't. The arrest warrant has to come through the court.

You said the business the two of you started together has taken off. How long does he plan to keep cutting CS short?

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Fri, 06/28/2013 - 4:36pm

Dh is looking for a job part time to pay cs. The problem with the business is that we have to wait on the birds to be ready to sell. They have to be laid hatched and hand fed then we have all that time to wait in between when the birds lay.