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Since you can't pick a "side" let me pick one for you MIL. . .

princessmofo's picture

So dh is in the middle of a custody issue with horseface. She just up and out of the blue served him a month and a half ago. Since then dh's mother has been acting shady, more so then normal. Now I know that the woman has never cared for me. She made that very clear when dh and I got married and she told me that "Horseface and I are friends and are close and are Always going to be." I can read between the lines and took that as an indication that MIL and I would NOT be friends. Who cares? Really, lady? She continues to do every little thing for BM and keeps pictures of her up in her house. Anyway, fast-forward to last night. I find out from dh's aunt that the evil stink wagon bm has invited dh's ENTIRE wedding coming up next week!! Yes, HIS family! And the aunt goes on to tell me that MIL told horseface bitch devil cunt bm that she "could not choose sides" in the custody issue! Ok, let me just say this...what the fuck?! Are you kidding me? You can't choose sides? Or you won't choose sides? Lady, this is your only living breathing son! You're flesh and blood and you are choosing a manipulative harpie over him!! I am beyond words, step-talkers. In fact, I am feeling a pain in my heart that is rare, and is generally reserved for my children when they suffer from some injustice. But I feel it for my dh today. The absolute nerve of this woman! I want dh to call his mother out on this bullshit. I doubt he will. But I want to call her up and tell her "If it is so hard for you to make a decision, let me do it for you. Never call dh again. You are not welcome in OUR home and as for seeing ss...well I will make it my mission in life to prevent you from ever laying eyes on that child again on dh's parenting time. If you are so close with fuckface bm why don't you beg to see ss on her time and perhaps she will be benevolent enough to let being so close and all."

I seriously did not sign on for all of this. I would never let somebody manipulate me or my family this way and I don't know how dh stands for it. It makes me resentful and cold.


Unfreakingreal's picture

My DH hasn't spoken to his mother for almost 3 years because of the same exact thing. She has crossed over to the dark side and has not only continued a very tight relationship with BM, but when it comes time for family gatherings of ANY type, birthdays, Thanksgiving, Xmas, she invites BM and not DH. It finally was enough of being completely and blatantly disrespected by his family and we have cut all ties with all of them.
It is heart wrenching, I know exactly what you mean. Of the 4 kids MIL has the ONLY one that is not a burden to society and is an upstanding citizen is MY DH and that is how he is treated. He doesn't deserve it, but we have come to the conclusion that THEY deserve him even less.
DH should just cut them off. He'll be much happier in the end. DNA doesn't always make you family. Family is he/she who is loyal to you and is by you when things go bad.

bulletproof's picture

Wait, I'm a little confused...she invited DH's family to her wedding?

DH's mom died when he was young, so I don't have a MIL. But, if I did, I can assure you that DH never would've married BM in the first place--even he and his entire family will tell you that. When he told his family he married BM, they told him that his mother just rolled over in her grave.

Yet he procreated with her?! Such a positive word for such a not-so-positive act.

princessmofo's picture

Yes, Bullet. She invited his ENTIRE family to her wedding. Talk about balls. I'm really disgusted, but mostly this just makes me hate my life and want to get the fuck out of this situation.

Anon2009's picture

I think you need to just bid all these people farewell. Even the aunt. I think she told you about BMs wedding guest list to just start $hit, even though its true. People can choose who they want in their lives. They made their choice and you have the freedom to make yours.

Carley's picture

Maybe you should get out of there while you can because the MIL is his mom and I don't see this ending happily ever after after for you. These darling son's never tell their mothers off. They just bury their heads in the sand and say 'she's crazy' and 'just deal with it'.

GoldenGoose's picture

Holy carp! My MIL said the same thing to me. She told me that BM1 was her friend and that they shared a bond on a "deep level...." and nothing personal against me, but she was going to remain friends with her. I didn't give a carp until I found out from 2 friends that at our wedding, she needed to be consoled by my SIL. Then she went on and tried to manipulate my DH into sending SD30 money so that she could pay her rent. I disengaged a little over a year ago and suddenly MIL wants to know why I won't spend time with her.. duh...... it sounds like we have the same nutburger MIL. There have been quite a few instances where my MIL chose to side with one or both BMs over her son. I journal everything so that when DH asks we why I feel the way I do, I toss the journal to him to reremind him. My heart has hurt over the loyalty issues of his family. But, now it hurts for him, not me. I couldn't care less what she thinks of me.

A glimmer of hope though..... my DH did tell her that he was upset with her over her favoritism of BM1 and perhaps if we saw more support of him instead of the support of his younger children's alienation, they (BIL and MIL) would see us more. She probably thought of that statement for about 20 seconds because really, nothing has changed. Unfortunately though, since nothing had changed on their side, DH thought that I would have a change of heart and tried to get me to reengage. Nothing doing..... It's still a work in progress.

Nothing surprises me though. I wouldn't be surprised if BM1 invited my MIL to her wedding. She'd probably have her as matron of honor....

sunbeam0901's picture

DH cut ties with his family about 4 years ago because they all joined Team Cuntzilla. Since then, MIL has bought BM a car, moved BM into her home, and paid BM's attorney fees when DH took her to court for contempt and custody modification. My heart aches for DH because that level of betrayal is just atrocious.