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A strange twist of fate. . .

princessmofo's picture

As fate would have it this is an excellent follow-up to yesterday's creepy BM blog. My DH comes home last night and informs me that BM is engaged. Yes, engaged. He can confirm this as he works with her and saw the ring. So I ask my ss, "did mom get a new ring?" He tells me "yep, she got it wednesday. She picked it out of a catalog with her BF. It looks a lot like yours." So I smiled, thanked my ss for letting me know and being honest. So now I'm wondering do I "congratulate" her as she had done to us on numerous occasions? Could I send her a wine basket? LMAO!

*and just a side note: My DH has been weird ever since he told me this news. Like aloof and uninterested in any personal/alone time with me. He actually argued with me last night that I "looked tired" and "needed my rest" and we didn't need to be "affectionate". Huh? And this has gone on for three days now. Which if you do the math means DH knew before yesterday, and my ss confirmed it. Saying he knew wednesday before Thanksgiving.

Yeah, so just rambling here. . . Happy Wednesday to you all. Smile

Comments

B22S22's picture

Preacher: "Do you, BM, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
BM: "Aaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh matey!"

OMG.

love_my_shichi's picture

Don't worry too much about him being aloof and strange. When my SO's x-wife was getting married he got emotional for awhile too. I think its like a weird death phase or something but it will pass. Even when a man does not want to be with his x-wife anymore...imagining her marrying someone else is still hard. I remember when my x-husband, who was abusive and I left, and I would never re-marry called to tell me he was getting married again...I too got strangely sad and distant and was in an odd place emotionally. I would give him some time and probably not confront him about it. I think its normal.....luckily.

This is generally great news! I think his spousal support will go away if it hasn't already and child support may go down and she will probably CHILL OUT. This is great news for you!

DaizyDuke's picture

I think it's normal for him to have some kind of reaction about it honestly. No matter how much he dislikes her.

I respectfully disagree to this...I could give a flying frack if my ExH was to marry someone else. and if my DH was acting like OPs is if (and that's a BIG IF) BM was actually able to get someone to marry her scraggly ass, I'd be pissed.

StickAFork's picture

I'm with Daizy on this one.
I couldn't give two hoots if XH remarried. For all I know, maybe he is.
And if DH was "weird" because BM got married? It would really bother me...like there's unfinished business there.

DaizyDuke's picture

But by the time the engagement/wedding rolls around, ex has already been dating/living with this person for some time (in most cases) so I guess I still don't get why her DH would give a half hoot about it... unless there was unfinished emotional business.

RedWingsFan's picture

DH was THRILLED when BM started dating someone, because she backed off of him for a little while and she had extra money coming in as well. Now, he's not so happy about it because SD would rather be with BM's boyfriend than her own dad. I think he'd be happy if she got married as long as the boyfriend was treating SD well. DH doesn't give a rat's ass about BM and her happiness. All he cares about with BM's men is that they treat SD well. This one seems to treat her SO well that she'd rather be with him even on DH's scheduled days! Of course, what that really means is he buys her stuff and takes her places. She's a materialistic little twit who leeches onto anyone that spoils her.

RedWingsFan's picture

^^^^Funny, your last line - maybe she'll croak! DH and I JUST had this conversation the other day. We both agree that she can't die until SD14 is at least 20 yrs old. Then she can die a slow, painful, torturous death and we won't have to worry about SD having to live with us or support her.

DH says he can't stand the fact that he was young and dumb and got BM pregnant and had to marry her. He wasn't FORCED to marry her, but his parents are southern and basically told him they'd have a huge issue if he didn't make a concerted effort to be with the mother of his child. DH lives to please his dad (his mom passed about 10 yrs ago) and adored his mom so he didn't want them to be disappointed in him and he married her. It was rocky from day one, cuz neither one of them really did love each other or want to be with each other. At least this is what his family and all his friends tell me.

BSgoinon's picture

DH would throw a party if BM ever decided to remarry. I don't think she ever will honestly. She doesn't want to give up our last name. (seriously, that is a major reason she doesn't remarry). She has lived with her BF for a year now, and does nothing but tell me how bad she "hates" him. **EYEROLL**

Hullabaloo's picture

In the 9 years that SO and BM have been divorced, she has lived with 8 different men and been engaged 3 times, we should only be so lucky that she could actually find a man willing to put up with her long enough to make it down the aisle! Lady time she was engaged, barely ever heard from her except to schedule exchanges. Now she will text SO all day long, asst this point mainly to bitch about me or to threaten him with going back to court, but there for awhile it was creepy, she would text just to say hi, what are you doing, you don't talk to me anymore about what's going on in your life, etc. Last year she even texted him to SE hour much he wad getting in income tax return!

Lord, please find this woman a man that can put up with her so we don't have to. Amen.

A for your DH being weirded out, I don't think I would like it, like seriously get over it. But men are funny creatures sometimes, and then they call us moody! Give him his space to wrap his head around it.

3familiesIn1's picture

Believe me when I tell you I want nothing to do with my XH. I left him and good riddance.

When the girls told me he was getting married and told me he was having another kid - it hit me all weird. In no way was I even a speck interested in him - but its still a weird set of feelings for a bit.

Its nothing to worry about, give your DH a little space for a bit - let him pass the weird feelings. I felt weird for a number of reasons I think, but one was that this woman would be with my kids full time now (she was already living there so wtf right?) and they would have a sibling I know nothing about (very weird to this day that my kids have a secret sibling I know nothing about)

oldone's picture

"When I close the door on something I don't look back" princessmofo

That's so me. When it's over I can't even remember loving the person. That doesn't mean that I hate them or anything like that. I spent almost 5 years with a guy and all I remember was trying to get out of the relationship (I was young).

I have absolutely no memory of ever loving him. Yet when I moved I found some letters I had written to him where I professed my undying love. I was shocked to see that I'd ever felt that way.

My DH on the other hand still "loves but is not in love with" both of his exes. Which pisses me off royally.

oldone's picture

"I know I would hurt greatly if Dh was of the 'love but not in love' about BM"

Believe me it eats at my very soul. He gets irritated that I call him on this in public. But if he wants to torture me with this in private then he is going to "own it" in public too.

His son (adult) told me that he hates DH's second wife. I said "But your Dad still loves her." He looked at his dad like he had snakes coming out of his head. I said "But that's okay he still loves your mother too." SS just shook his head.

My ex that I don't remember loving has never gotten over me. He has stalked me for years in spite of being married to someone else for decades. DH's second wife left him to go back to her first husband. It happens all the time. Plus the first wife (as we see so often here) thinks she still "owns" him.