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Skids called to wish DH a Happy B-Day...

poisonivy's picture

they left a message because he was in class...

I listened to the message and could hear BM in the background,
"tell your daddy he's getting old."


Since when are we trading good-humored jabs? We don't like you like that, skank.....


I thought I should call back and say "he may be getting older but you're getting uglier, B$@^H!!!!!!!!!!"


SoTired1's picture

LMBO!!! Defend your man, girl! You go girl.
Yeah, BM was just being evil-hearted & silly. No matter what she may feel about her kids bd she should keep such silly comments to herself (for the sake of her kids). I don't get parents that put themselves before their kids . . . so sad.

poisonivy's picture

And we don't even speak (except in extreme situations!), I just don't get this whole schizophrenic behavior thing (not accustomed to crazy people) LOL!!!!!

Stick's picture

poisonivy - I think it's just a joke. Let's not let everything the BM does turn into something worse than it is.

DH over here turned 50 this year. He got mail from AARP (hahaha!) at BM's house, which of course she gleefully gave to SD to give to DH when she saw her.

Whatever! DH doesn't care - he doesn't look 50, he looks like he's in his 30's! So BM's attempt was a backhanded "joke" and neither DH nor I did anything but laugh right with her.

Laugh it off. It will take the wind out of her sails! Smile

poisonivy's picture


I KNOW it was a joke, that's the burr in my saddle....

This is a woman who has had DH imprisoned on false charges and made to pay restitution, moved skids 1500 miles away, tried to break up our marriage on several occasions, and threatened to kill herself if DH didn't take her back! WE DON"T TALK TO HER, much less joke...

so its bugging the heck out of me that she thinks we can go from 0 to 80 without so much as an apology!!!!!

Stick's picture

It's just that you are letting the bitterness of everything get in the way of something that's really innocuous and is bugging you for no reason. It's hurting you more than her.

And whether anyone likes this answer or not - BM is doing the right thing by her kids there. She's teasing their dad in a lighthearted way. That's actually good for those skids, to have a little lightness.

Let it go...

Stick's picture

Then you are only hurting yourself, and BM wins. She is having a joke at DH's expense for something trivial - with their kids. The kids probably thought it was funny and DH probably doesn't care. The only person this is hurting is YOU and your relationship with DH, because now he has to hear you be upset just because BM teased him.

It's up to you, but is it worth it?

poisonivy's picture

Its really not a big deal, Like I said its hard for me to understand the notions of the schizoid personality and it bugs me. Everything is not okay between us. Maybe at some point in the future it will be, but for right now I'm pointing out the many inconsistencies that are BM.

poisonivy's picture

and I actually hadn't even mentioned it to I said not a big deal just more BM crap....

Stick's picture

Well, if you think about it, it kind of is consistent... BM is saying that DH is getting OLD. So it's a backhanded kind of tease. It's not really a good thing, but it's not a bad thing. She is telling the kids that DH is old, and telling them to tell him. I think that's pretty much in character if she is kind of vindictive, or malicious or whatever. Really - who wants to be told they are getting OLD? The only person I know who doesn't mind is my husband and that's because he looks so damn good - seriously.

When DH turned 50, even though he looks great, I didn't get him any "Over the hill" stuff. It was all Happy 50, or you look great stuff! You know what I mean? Your BM is being BM... don't let it bug you.. that's the kind of stuff that I'm sure DH appreciates you for...

SoTired1's picture

@ Stick, a rainbow must have truely thrown up on you b/c you're definitely sh@#*ing glitter all over this page, lol. I understand Poisonivy's position & why she's upset. I have a BM that I totally dislike her evil ways & she'd do something like this. However, she's even more evil b/c she won't even allow my dh's bs11 to call him (not even to say hi; so a happy birthday greetings is definitely out of the question). At any rate, the BM in my situation truly gets under my skin and has done everything in her power to cause chaos in our relationship while using her son as a pawn. I totally dislike her ways & I think she's the biggest [fake] phony I've ever seen. Anyone who meets her does not know who they're really dealing with (narcissistic in every way). So, Poisonivy, I so understand your feelings that are truly validated (especially being the false charges & not an one apology). I would never be cordiall with a person like her & as for the BM we deal with I share the same (I will never be cordial with her, b/c I totally dislike her & her ugly, evil, lying ways). BM has actually made it rather challenging for me to love her child or establish/maintain a loving relationship for her son. Because of her nasty, evil ways, I have truly resented SS11 from time to time over the 8-years I've known my dh & that will never change.
Btw: the greatest thing about 'steptalk' is that we as stepmoms can vent in ways that we can never allow our dh's to know what or how we truly feel. }:)

Stick's picture

SoTired - I understand this completely - because I am living it. But I have to tell you that I am not trying to discourage her from venting, but more from understanding how I hurt myself by allowing these little things here and there just get under my skin at every opportunity.

I can't stand BM here. I have come to the conclusion that I have come as close to hating her as I can hate anyone. I can't stand that she too is fake, is all about appearances, couldn't give two sh*ts about anyone else except herself, propagandizes herself as mother of the year when really if it came between $$ for her or $$ for her daughter, she'd let her daughter go without and on and on and on. I am convinced that BM here has NPD as well.

Having said all of that - and being in a place right here, right now, where BM bugs the sh*t out of me, all I can tell you - and anyone else that wanted to do the whole "yes vent vent vent this out" is that in the end - letting it ALL get to you ALL THE TIME and having people tell you constantly how f*cked up that BM truly is - will only make things worse and harder for you - FOR US - in the long run.

I'm just trying to get her to realize it was stupid and little. And not let it become bigger than it is because everyone would tell her she has a right to be pissed. It's that kind of stuff - and this is just my opinion - but it's that kind of stuft that eventually can make the really bad feelings spin out of control.

Hope I'm making sense... I just know that if I vented about every single thing that BM did that pissed me off, and had everyone tell me that I was right, I would get a little short-sighted. BM and her stupid ass fugly family are annoying me right now !!! Just because THEY ARE!! hahaha! So I do get it. But I handle it better by laughing about it, rather than constantly staying in a state of anger.

poisonivy's picture


I'm sorry, I must have somehow given you the impression that this has made me angry....which is truly not the case. And, I vent about it because that's what we do around here. I am well aware that it was a small, nearly insignificant occurance in the BM drama, but I felt that my fellow STalkers would understand, which most seem to.

However, I am a big girl and usually when I need an opinion on how to handle something, I'm really good about asking, in this instance it was purely a vent. So, otheres telling me to be angry or not to be angry ort that I have evry right or that I should shove it really doesn't change anything....this time.

I appreciate your candor and I, surely much like yourself, deal with BM and skid drama that paramounts this little bump by 1000 degrees, and I most certainly don't vent here about every single thing that BM does to piss me off (I'd run out of room).

I would hate to think that posters here will be made to think that unless an issue is a huge life-changing deal that they should not feel free to share...and that's kinda what I get from your responses here.

No worries, Poisonivy is fine....

I walk softly and carry a BIG well, stick! LOL!!!!!!!

imagr8tma's picture

LOL!!!!!! She was just trying to be sarcastic..... Ignore her.... is what the sane side says.

The other side says .... tell her she is getting older too... just not very well!

caregiver1127's picture

I thought this site was to vent - so poisonivy if the message pisses you off then vent girlfriend that is what we are here for - it does not mean that you are going to ruin you and DH's night because you are pissed at what BM said and quite frankly you can't understand the schiziodness - so I don't blame you for being pissed. These BM's can't have it all ways - dragging our DH's through the courts and mud and slinging mud wherever they go and then expect us to laugh when they joke. So vent baby vent - some of us here are listening and not judging we know you need to get this off of your chest!

momoutofhermind2's picture

I agree. It's like 3/4 of BM's are just something else. They do everything in their power to hurt DH and the kids so to turn around and try and be funny, whether it be in a condescending way or to joke around light-heartedly, it would def. get to you. We as SM's see BM's drag our DH's or SO's into the dirt and we can't do anything about it, but give advice and try and help. So when the hemmoroid in our lives try to be funny, it's really not. It's like don't try to be funny with my guy, he hates you and so do I.

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

"Hey kids, tell your mom she's still a bitch! Lol. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge!"

How well would that have gone over?

halfstepmom2skids's picture

If only she knew that is probably makes your DH gringe to hear her voice right! She sounds like a scank who needs to get overherself. She does shit like that to get at you and cuz she wishes she had him still prob. Wink