Do what you feel good about. Don’t make the decision based on what other people will think. BE that strong woman you’ve become. 

My SIL changed her name to her SECOND husbands last name and kept it post divorce, even. She said it sounded better than all the others even her maiden name (true story, and she is something of a fashionista....)

So, march to the beat your own drum Pinkleton, keep forging forward, and use whatever last name you feel your phsyche wants to. IRL I have a VERY unusual name, and I kept my maiden name for personal reasons. so I totally get the importance of a name and how it fits our identities.

I dunno - might be nice for you to go back to your old last name as a new person, as the final step in mastering the trauma. Because the marriage and name change had nothing to do with you overcoming it. 

But keep whatever name you want. 

If you find new man, with out kids.  Do you want to be know by your married name.  Do you want to be married by your using your married name,   I would go back to maiden name or pick a new name to used. Clean break, for a fresh start.

.....then people tend to say

Screw what people say! Who are these people and are they going to have to carry your last name?  Will they reap the consequences of your decision?  They have no say in this and neither does your STBX.  Stop asking for anyone else's input.  

 You legally attained that last name by marrying the guy. If you want to keep it then go for it.  This is 100% your decision and your life. Do whatever make sense for you. Personally I'd change it to something awesome that I absolutley love, but maybe you love your current last name, if so keep it.  

I wish I would've picked a new name altogether.  Where I live it would've been free for me to change it during the divorce, but now I have to pay a few hundred dollars when its all said and done.  That sucks. I always figured I'd just change it when I married again, but I never did...so I'm stuck with the married name 17 years later!  But yeah, I don't talk to any of my family because of childhood trauma and dysfunction, so I also shuddered at the sound of returning to my maiden name. I just couldn't go back.  I also hated to keep the married name because my ex was such an abusive jerk, but decided because I had full custody of our son I would keep it for his sake.  It was the best of two options at the time, but I've always wished I would've chosen a 3rd...pick one that I chose for myself.  As for what people have to say...not their business.  It's YOUR life, YOUR name! :)  

It is your name.  You have every right to keep it if you want to.  Changing everything to your married name was a pain and changing everything back will be a pain!  Your personal reasons for keeping the name are yours and are no one's business.  You owe no one any explanations.

Honestly though, people are going to be asking you a lot of intrusive questions over the next few months that they have no right to ask and you are under no obligation to answer.  "This is what I decided to do" is really all that you need to say unless it is something you actually want to talk about to that person.  And if they persist, "I don't want to talk about it any further" is completely appropriate.  You are a grown woman and have the right to privately make your own decisions.  Anyone who doesn't understand that after first being politely informed can be walked away from or, if you can not physically get away from them, frozen out with "what part of I don't want to talk about it did you not understand?"

I think it's all personal opinion.

Another way to look at it though.

Pinkleton Maiden Name. She's the bada$$ that got out of a bad situation and looked out for herself (if you change it back).  But that could apply to Pinkleton Divorced name.  Regardless of what you choose.  Whatever name you end on, that's who the bada$$ is.  Who worked so hard and is now looking out for HER.

If you choose to keep the last name and people ask why? Respond with have you ever changed your name? Do you understand the laundry list of a nightmare it really is! Most people (WOMEN) who have had to do it completely understand.

If you chose to change it back to your maiden name own it!! "I'm Penny Pinkelton and I'm PROUD!" lol sorry your name reminds me of hairspray.

If you opt for a whole new name you can tell people well this was a great opportunity for a whole change, new name, new me!

Whatever option you choose own it and be proud of it, and who cares what other people think, it's not their life.

Leave all that nonsense behind. You don't have to explain. I started using my middle name because my first name has some bad mojo on it. People get over it. But change your name now during the divorce it is easier than doing it later. Do you have a family name maybe from an ancestor you like. Use that one. Good luck Pinkleton.

It's YOUR name, not your STBX's.
You have every right to it and to do with it what you want, including keeping it.
It doesn't matter if you were married for one day or one year.
It doesn't matter that you will not have any ties to ex.
IT. DOES. NOT. MATTER.
It is YOUR name.

Don't pay attention to what other people say: they can go pound sand.
It is your name, tied to your identity.
Be whomever you like through your own choice of name.

Your name your choice. If you feel more comfortable with the newer name then keep it. The nice thing is without joint children you'll never been the BM that some future wife cries foul about having to share a last name. That comes off cold but I hope it makes sense. You do what makes you happy. It's your legal name and your right to keep or change as you wish.

I kept my XH's last name only becaue we shared children who have his last name. It is completely up to you and what makes you most comfortable.

Your decision.  Me - it would KILL me to be saddled with an ex's name.  But that is ME - not you.

A dear friend of mine decided that she did not want either her ex's name or her maiden name.  She picked a grandmother's maiden name (or maybe even a great grandmother's maiden name) as her new last name.  I never heard a word (or anyone ask) why she didn't want her maiden name.

Pick a name that you want.  And that even includes your married name if that's it.  Your decision.

Your decision!

After my divorce I did not change my name back - I liked my 'maiden' name as my middle name better and it was a PITA to change it.  I did however change my name again when I married DH, because I wanted to, yes it was a PITA!, and I love his family as a whole.

This is a topic I've been mulling lately. 

A friend recently escaped her abusive marriage. It was a very bad situation that she had tried in various ways to end, but her ex didn't want to lose control of his cash cow. He somehow managed to have her Baker Acted (which she's pursuing redress for via the courts), and she's finally free. (This friend works in the legal profession, btw) As soon as she had somewhat recovered, she changed her surname to her mother's maiden name. For her, it seems part of her recovery process and a way to honor her mother, who has been her staunchest support. I applaud her for doing whatever she needs to do to rid herself of that b@st@rd's stench.

I think for some of us, there's great power and symbolism in a name, while others are more pragmatic. It seems women always have some man's surname, be it a father or husband or grandfather's. Everyone's circumstance is unique, and each woman should do what feels right for her.

I've promised myself that if DH predeceases me, I'm going to legally drop his name. With him gone, there would be zero reason to be called by the surname of a loony family I've distanced myself from. Isn't that a freeing thought?

My mother kept her married name after divorcing my father. I don’t know her reasons though. She kept it until she married my stepdad almost 10 years later. 

Now, my DH’s exes (yes, multiple) did not keep his last name. I think it was even in the divorce decree that SD’s BM would change back to her maiden name. That was not by DH’s request though, so I thought it odd. 

You do you, girlfriend! 

I kept my first husband's last name after I remarried. One name change was enough for me.

My mother kept my father's last name after their divorce, and still has it after being remarried for 30 years. 

Not a big deal. 

Do what you think is best for YOU. 

Totally your call, don’t let anyone else’s opinion lead you to a decision that’s not right for YOU! Personally, if DH & were to divorce I’d likely keep my new last name too. Changing it is a pain, and I like how my married last name flows with my first name better than my maiden one. I know plenty of divorced women who’ve kept their married names, and plenty who haven’t. Do what’s best for you lady, you’re a badass either way!

 but how new BF feels.   That you want to keep a connection with XH.  You are not ready to move on 

 Not talking about people with children with Ex 

i kept ExH last name. It was something DS asked for so I reluctantly agreed. I did warn him if I remarried I would take new husband's name. 

I didn't read all the other comments. Here we go into my last name story!

I was born with last name A

Adopted and got Last name B at 7 yrs old

Married at 18 with Last name C

Divorced at 29 - kept C (my kids last name)

Married at 30 - Last name D

Divorced at 31- back to last name C (my kids last name, everyone still called me that name anyway)- swore I would never marry again.

Married at 35 - Last name E.

I AM NEVER CHANGING MY DAMN NAME AGAIN. I didn't even want to when I got married this time. It was really important to my husband. I have been with the same company for years and had to give an authorization today. The person on the phone asked my name. I am always like damn.... First Name and last name could be listed As C D or E. It sucks!

My maiden name is long and difficult to pronounce. My ex was a violent stalker. So when I divorce him, I change my name to a completely new name.....one I like, identify with, for my safety and because I was whole different person.

Maria Kondo this situation - those people bringing their two sense ??? Doesn’t bring you joy??? Throw them out!

keep your last name, don’t, change it to Rockefeller, just make sure you’re putting your happiness first  

I think it would be a blast to pick a name! So freeing, creative and fun!!!! That’s what I would do. So many beautiful names out there.

what are your hobbies? What are you passionate about?

I wanted to add...I had two friends get married. She did not want his name and he did not want hers. 

So they made up a new last name for the both of them. Walker. Because they wanted to walk through life peacefully. I always thought it was interesting and fun that they did this. 

My BM kept my dad's last name after they divorced.  She said she'd had that name longer than her maiden name.  At the end of the day, it's your choice.  Do what's right for you.

I wouldnt think much of it either way. I know alot of people who have kept their married last name for various reasons and I didnt think much about it. Unless it's a family name that's well known for something in particular or associated strongly with something it probably doesn't matter much. 

My married last name is one of the most common last names in the US so I dont really see it as part of my identity. Kind of hard to think of it as our family name when every like 5th person I meet has the same last name anyway even though they're no relation.